Dec 29, 2005

Stick RPG is for losers

I don't want to blow your minds, guys. But I googled Stick RPG and there is a Stick RPG 2 available. Rock on.

Also, why didn't anyone buy me this for Christmas? Assholes.

uber dork

yeah, see that thing

that thing on the left ?

yeah

thats my castle

eat a dick



the trick is to go to the casino, win 10k at blackjack, then go sell 20k of coke in LA for 30k ... walkin home with 20k a day ...

BOOYAKA!

stickRPG

yeah, im a dork, i got all yer answers right here ...

ok, to use the bus depot, you have to get there "first thing in the morning" ... which means you gotta buy some caffeine pills from the convienance mart ... its automatic, and will wake you up with the clock set at 0 ... from there you have to buy some coke, and go sell it ... i recommend LA, ive been gettin the highest prices there ... made like 10k in one day sellin shit there ... only downside to the caffeine pills is that you dont regen overnite, unless you have the nice bed, etc that makes up for it ... even if yer not goin to the bus depot, the caffeine gives you more time durin the day to work and/or build yer stats ... id recommend gettin yer learn on and gettin CEO (250 intelligence) before startin to sell drugs, etc ... makes it easier ...

oh and fuck the stock market (need the computer to do that) ... its jus too little of gains to make it worth it ...

hot wire the car ... dunno yet, still not smart enough ( but i got a mansion, and all the trimmings for it, once you get a mansion you can get a tv w/ cable and you can jus watch tv all day and increase yer charisma/strength/ or intelligence ... plus you can buy shit that increases yer stats while you sleep ...

good thing i saved ... another tip, dont roll into LA with 99 grams of coke (the most you can carry, 40000 dollars worth) cause you jus get straight busted

oh

also, the more charisma you have, the more money you make on selling drugs ...

i recommend bar-fighting too ... good way to build strength and make some money ...

fuck the casino

oh, and i robbed the convience store once also ... you gotta have a certain level of charisma to pull it off, well, that and a gun ... with ammo ...

cannot post ...

stuck ...

in ...

stick ... rpg ...

world ...

I Love Headline Quotes

As opposed to the 'rational' variety

And where are you guys? Am I the Last of the Bluntest? Shall I be the only to blunt along this psychodellic disco we call the internet?

Dec 28, 2005

Dead People

This guy

And this guy, who got top billing over the first guy on cnn.com.

And whoever this guy is

A Pimpernel's Quest

The newest thing to take up my time at work

Disgusting

Not in a ratemypoo.com way

Dec 22, 2005

long long post

funny ass this american life promo for their christmas/holiday program ...


happy birfday jeebus !

chewie rocks a fu manchu ?

vader consults his guards for advice ?

the empires new "dont ask dont tell" policy in full effect

the popes new band, and subsequently, my new favorite band

and for those of you who think dressin up like star wars character is for losers ...



well, replace the you're with they're ... and then the loser with losers ... and then drop the "a" ... dammit

pretty close to bogardus's future grave stone

perhaps you think this image is animated ... perhaps ... YOU ARE A FOOL ! (sorry bogardus, ive been waitin to use that line for a while)

Dec 21, 2005

Perspective

A little perspective for you

And a lot of perspective for you

The Pope is scary

Want to see the Pope wearing a Santa hat?

It will haunt your dreams

How are we going to pay for the war in Iraq?

It's easy. Let's just stope sending kids to college. That way the poor stays poor and, you guessed it, will be more likely to join the military! And we solve our recruitment problems as well! Hoo-ray!

Dec 20, 2005

the reason for the season

theologians have unearthed this very early film of jeesus and his zany biblical pals
not sure if i posted this before or where i found it

a warrant has been placed on a heaven-area man calling himself "yaweh" for 1st degree drug trafficking charges

also, hell is real ... they wouldnt lie on the interwebs

satan would have a talkshow this annoying

crap ! i wish this video was up in its entirety ... check that description!

santa has been called on by the catholic church to debate/defend the bible (actually a decent clip, albeit long ... santa knows his islam ! godamn !)

sure to be this summers christian blockbuster!

in other news, dutch archaelogists have unearthed footage of bogardus's early singing career
blatantly stolen from hedonistica

in other other news, THIS might be the single best post ever to this blog ... NO ONE IS LAZY IN LAZY-TOWN!

the link above is down for some reason ...
but ! no worries !
cause heres a link with that movie plus 5 more videos !!!!

Hooray!!!!

Another victory in keeping our public school systems from going down the toilet!!!

This would make me feel bad

How would you feel if you were the replacement act for the second runner up from American Idol? Poor Goo Goo Dolls.

Bush thinks we ought to get this Chad guy in our fight against terrorism!

And finally, a study now shows that children are becoming less cool and acting more like 1950 house wives. I'm buying stock in Golden Girls reruns.

Dec 19, 2005

Uh-oh Drastics

Looks like its time to cancel that concert in Tehran

Weezer

I don't think this really needs a snotty comment. Make up your own.

Calling all Star Wars nerds!

Caution: Clicking this link may cause nerdgasm.

Dec 16, 2005

Rejoice

Now I don't have to worry about the feds finding out about my overdue fees or that I checked out "Oops I Did It Again" five times

Oh yeah, and if you have a problem with my videos, I'll show you what you can "relatively" link up with. Yeah, you heard me. Or read me. Or . . whatever . . . jerk

yer video links need help

pimpernel, this is the 2nd video link you sent that dont work ... yer linkin to a popup window, which is linked "relatively", the link has to be sittin on cnn's server in order for it to know where to go ...

in other news ...

they got ill john covers

this guy is coming for you



i dont believe this (watch the video)

best rejected advertising

glad i quit before i scheduled that trip to thailand

this is already kinda dated, but more then that; cracked magazine still exists !? and has a website !!??!?!

these folks want you to paint their number ... IF, you know what i mean ... (nsfw-ish)

japanese girl goes crazy to rock drum-break at tower records



bunch o games for yer mac OS 9 platform

with this modern invention of electricity, you dont have to worry about explaining to little timmy why theres a charred corpse with red and white fur under the tree this year !

spongebong hempants (stupid, but suprisingly good animation for a bunch of stoners)

my new favorite band

please, can i stop now ??

Dec 15, 2005

Flying Flaming Babies

My brain is mush. Too much work. Watch the stoopid video.

Wiki this

Puttin' the smack on those Britannica jerks!

for all the haters

maybe my memory is incorrect ... well, more than likely it is ... regardless, i recall a sealab 2021 episode featurin a nice bossa tune titled "aguas de marco" ... maybe it wasnt with anyone on this blog, but i remember debating with someone if adult swim people had written it or if joao gilberto had written it ... so, check the first track, and ...

eat a dick

Dec 14, 2005

doughy mitts

hey bogardus !

the onion did an article on you!

Old People are Cool

Don't buy drugs, it supports terrorists

language

languages are crazy ...

rongorongo (easter island)

n'ko

linear a

phaistos

i tried to read this book called "the atoms of language" and got about 3/4 done before it got mind-numbingly boring ... the conceptually stuff is really interesting but then he goes into specifics about pre/suff/post/whatever and it jus kinda get blah ...

also

squirrel eats dog

This would be funny . .

. . . if I didn't hear the Kool-Aid man coming in the distance

But in Ratchet and Clank, nanotechnology was health! What's going on?

ask me again and ill tell you the same

whats my name ?

this is puddin tane, the ass

Dec 13, 2005

Voting

Voting for Iraq from the comfort of the 'burbs

funnyness in video format

ever wonder who that guy was talking too ?

link courtesy: the lovely surjeet

Oh Rush

Drugs are bad

A Tookie side note What exactly is clemency

Dec 12, 2005

No Links Again

Just a quick question: what's with everyone wanting to save this Tookie guy? All I hear is he founded the Crips and killed four people. Usually this would receive the exact opposite reaction of what is going on. Oh yeah, savetookie.org is down because so many people are viewing it. The Governator and the courts have also said, "Nay, the man will die tomorrow".

A series of funny links

1

2

Dec 9, 2005

yes

more

extra slow day

extra slow day + ytmnd + kanye bein a chump = me spendin the afternoon makin this

da, comradeski

im sorry to hear about the facist takeover at shure, pimpernel ... i guess youll have to get all your information through the bluntest now, which is why i am declaring the bluntest to be the official (and only) state run news enterprise in the soviet bloc satellite of shurekezistan ... deal with it ...



on a side note, kanye west doesnt care about grammy people ... or does he

funny to watch, but heres someone who transcribed it ...

seriously, i grow more and more ashamed of this chicagoan by the day ...



kanye ! what in gods name are you talkin about !!??!?!!?!

If I don't win album of the year. I'm.. I'm gonna.. I'm gonna really have a problem with that. I can never talk myself out of it, you know why? because I was in the studio and I put in the work. I don't care if I jumped up and down right now on a couch like tom cruise. I don't care what I do. I don't care how much I [something]. You can never take away from the amount of work that I put into it. So I don't wanna hear all that politically correct stuff. You put the camera in front of me - I'm-a tell you tell you like this: I worked hard to get here. I put my love, I put my heart, I put my money. I don't make.. I'm $600,000 in the hole right now, on that album. And you tell me about being politically incorrect. People love these songs. You talk to somebody who's grandmother just died and listens to Roses. And you tell me about being politically incorrect. I'm talking about history. I never got 5 mics in The Source - never got 5 stars from The Vibe. They said it's not a classic. So, Jesus Walks is not a classic? Roses is not a classic? Golddigger wasn't song of the year? Oh, but Kanye you can't say that! Why? Who are you? I don't know you!

nice sweater by the way ...

chump

cybermilk will shoot out your nose

the best internet gif animation EVER

seriously, why arent i world famous on the information superhighway yet ...

best with sound ...

big file though ... might take a while to load ... but oh so worth it ...



also

i have no reason to believe this is not true

funny

Dec 8, 2005

I got no links

I got no links for good reasons:

A) I've been getting hit pretty hard with work

B) Fascists have taken over and I can't look at anything: the Onion, Hedonistica, any of Tony's links (except wikipedia, those little weasel things are pretty cute)

This sucks big time. On a side note, I tried looking up a picture of one of our products via GIS. I saw boobies. And they called Hedonistica "Gross/Tasteless".

totally stupid rant

ok, so i really like this riddim "bookshelf" ... yeah, its jamaican-pop dancehall, and its got beenie on it, but i still dig it ...

listen here

so today i decided to look up the lyrics cause fug if i can understand but maybe 40% of it ... so, because we live in this marvelous world of interwebs, i found the lyrics 20 times over ... but each page had this as the chorus ...

The way how them gal ya nice and pretty, full a witty
Them no gritty me hafi put them pon me bookshelf
Yes, a no one a di whole committee inna the city them ya kitty
Naah go share them with nobody else
Yes

but NO ... the second line should read ...

Them no gritty me na gwan put them pon me bookshelf

changes the whole meaning ...

fucking sheep ...



in unity ? one love ? ... if this is the same clash i saw, bounty punches beenie in the face at the end of the bout ....

jus when you thought the internet ...

couldnt get any weirder ...

theres this

change in lineup for our upcoming show ...
flyer made by the lovely andrea ...

Dec 7, 2005

i love these guys

yes ... these guys !

dumb as rocks, but cute as hell ...

they like to wrastle !

what i do at work ...

i make flyers ... mostly ... click on these ...

artsy-ish ... thats my handwriting ! ... boo-ya



this flyer is pure hype ... click on the handbill version for the poster version ...



a flyer i made for my friends in the band salamander ... 2 flyers that can be used as one ... or individually ... word ...

being sick sucks

ive been ill

and not in the good beastie boys way ...

blah, sorry bluntest ... i have not forsaken you, or its loyal crew of 3 viewers per day ... (thats including the other 2 contributors) ...

at work today but still sick ... jus had to put somethin up cause its been too long ...

so heres some links related to sick and/or sucking ... or at least thats what GIS thinks ...

my NEW favorite band

nothin to do with sick or sucking, but its for bogardus ... obviously photoshopped ... still funny ... not sure why GIS brought it up ...

ew (nsfw-ish ... cause itll take you a minute to realize whats happenin)

ahhh ... the progress we've made ...

leeches for health!

phlebotomy

Dec 2, 2005

Welcome back, Driznastic

Sorry, I haven't posted in a while, guys.

Me and Alf have been spending a lot of time at the gym.



Edited: I had to make that picture into a link, because it was too disturbing. I apologize for any permanent scarring I may have inadvertently caused.

Dec 1, 2005

wes side

yo yo yo ... back from the west coast with some serious flava ... highlights of my trip included a visit to the winchester mansion and the san fransisco museum of modern art ... what can i say about them ... ? ... well, if you dont know the story of the winchester mansion, check it ... cause its cracked out ... and the sfmoma, hm ... well, kiki smith is a freak ... dont let the nice pictures on that page fool you ... her stuff is very very fucked up, we actually left the exhibit cause we were so disgusted ... highlight of the grossness was a sculpture of a girl on all 4s with a piece of shit comin out of her ass about 12 feet long, and shit smeared all over the back of her legs and ass ... THIS IS CONSIDERED HIGH ART! ... ugh ... i mean, i guess she got a rise out of me, and im still thinking about it, but ... wow, it seemed purely for shock value ... better examples of her work here ... she seems like the archetype that maude from the big lebowski was based on ...

MAUDE
Does the female form make you uncomfor- table, Mr. Lebowski?

DUDE
Is that what that's a picture of?

MAUDE
In a sense, yes. Elfranco, my robe.
My art has been commended as being
strongly vaginal. Which bothers
some men. The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable. Vagina.

DUDE
Oh yeah?

MAUDE
Yes, they don't like hearing it and
find it difficult to say. Whereas
without batting an eye a man will
refer to his "dick" or his "rod" or
his "Johnson".

DUDE
"Johnson"?

MAUDE
Thank you.

word, i love that movie ...

also ... b-boys

The Dumbest Thing Ever

You may have to watch a quick commercial first, but if you really want to see the dumbest thing ever, do it.