Jun 30, 2005

wtf?

Cree. Pee.

seeeeecretttttttttsssssssss

width="300"


someone needs to stop bein so "busy" at work, and learn how to resize a goddamn image ... yeah, im talkin to you ... busta ...

hey ! im spinnin at delilahs tonite ... 9pm - 2am ... reggae/dub/roots nite ... come out and bring a friend, no cover ...

"every girl is my girlfriend" gets my vote for #1 !

uncanny valley

pimpernel, why hath though not posted this yet ?


"Busy" at work

No time for chit-chat! Here's the funny stuff:

Jews with guns.

My new best friend.

Horses are bad.



The End.

Football, Russians and Tom Cruise

Just to prove every worthy newspaper article now a days has Tom Cruise in it

Jun 29, 2005

what is it with these popes !?

hey pimpernel ... might wanna think twice bout joinin the lodge ...

wow

wow ... jeebus ... wow ... you must listen to the mp3 ... wow

a blog is not a blog without at least one mr. t post


what is it about him ... the mohawk ? the 40 lbs of gold ? the "dont take no mess" attitude ? ... whatever it is, 20-somethings cant seem to get enough of that kwazy B.A. Baracus !

cult of mr t

versus

mmm ... me and my t !

we got all that jazz !



hot damn ! since when can mr t shit diamonds !?


so thats what that hand in the intro to the x-files is ...

Poor Stella

Apparently Stella had aquired a false groove

Ultimate Showdown

If this isn't a battle to the death, I'm not interested

Where I Plan to be in 50 Years

I want to be like this guy

Jun 28, 2005

Damn the man!

So, my new hero has decided to use the Supreme Court rertarded decision against one of their own. This time, its personal.

Save your cash, and you too can be driven insane!

I pity the fool who don't buy my comic!

Driznastic has uncovered my dirty, dirty secret...

bogardus, please dont hate me ...

an online tribute to the best band ever !

cults gone wild !

the crunk issue


we got a theme goin in this post ... see if you can figure it out !

dear lord make it stop!!!!!!!

the youth of america ladies and gentleman ... a study in open mindedness !

party the best!!!!!

ukra-hop!




my scientology results (jeebus that test was long) ...
click here to see em

looks like im pretty a-ok in the eyes of ol' l. ron hubbard, our personal lord and saviour ... if only he had stuck to music ! ... i actually have this album on vinyl, but its still sealed and cant bring myself to open it, but im diein to hear it ...

ooh ooh ooh ... look what i found ! with mp3s!

Newest Addition to Must See TV

A combination of Grumpy Old Menand The Odd Couple

And Who Says the Suburbs Aren't Fun

Mrs. Bolivia is a fox!

Jun 27, 2005

More on Scientology

In light of Bogardus's response, I realized both of our personality profiles were remarkably similar. So I thought that perhaps the scientologists weren't, for lack of a better word, being too scientific about this little exam. I went through and chose the I don't know or understand the question answer to all of the questions. The results were indeed different, which is not what I expected. However, if you lack an opinion or do not understand the questions, the scientologists will let you know you probably want to kill yourself. You could not get any more depressed. Your score might actually have gone up in the depressed column if you answered positively to the "Do you ever think of killing yourself?" question. Science! Oh yeah, I was still above average for activity though even without giving any definitive answer.

Trend

The curse of Winnie the Pooh has begun! Look out Jim Cummings! Your absolutely brilliant resume can't protect you!

Weird, the Scientologists say that I am depressed and irresponsible as well. I'm taking it with a grain of salt, though because they also say that I am extremely active, and, as my doughy mid-section would like to point out, that is not entirely true. So, maybe, just maybe, those Scientologists are full of shit.

More strange news

Does this seem strange to anyone else? So on the 24th, the guy who did Tigger's voice on Winnie the Pooh died. Two days later, Piglet died. Coincidence?

And on a side note, check out what Tigger did on his spared time. The voice of Gargamel from the Smurfs, a stint on the Jetson's. Oh yeah, and he invented the artificial heart.

Scientology

So even the scientologists think I'm irresponsible. According to their personality test I'm also depressed and nervous.

Find out your personal flaws and how to improve yourself up to Cruise status!

Crack Reporting from CNN

This in from CNN.com: the internet makes life easier. I gotta get me a couple of those internets.

Bestiality pointers

Advice for the budding zoophiliac:

Funny and entertaining

Scary and disturbing

Jun 24, 2005

An oldie but a goodie

You can't make this sh*t up!

I am obsessed

Okay, listen. I will be the first to agree that celebrity "news" is not news, and that we have much more important things to talk about in our country right now. But, having said that, TOM CRUISE IS FUCKING CRAZY!!

He was on the Today Show, and was talking about how psychology is a "pseudo-science" and the like. This from a guy who never graduated high school because he was diagnosed with dyslexia. Well, since that doesn't exist, I guess he's just a moron.

Check out this interview. Or just go read the good parts.

Hahaha, poop.

bitches man, bitches


sick and tired of this shit ... ya kiss meant nuthin', you was bluffin', stuffin' my brain with insane thoughts and notions ... for real ...

ok, back to the links ...

remember this ? remember when liberals almost showed some backbone !?

large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter

bacon makes everything better, especially paper cuts!

ahhh chauncey, my favorite member !


Attention must be paid!

It's amazing that 90,000 people can gather in a 700-acre cow pasture for almost a week to hear almost 100 different bands on 7 different stages and I can only find one interesting article about it.

On second thought, maybe that's not such a bad thing. This way we don't have to worry about Bonnaroo 2006 being sponsored by Pepsi

Video Games

The latest in the NFL: Blitz line is as irreverant as ever

An explanation of the first link

thems my arms


no stupid links right now ... jus a whole heapin of alot of photos ... zounds !





bijan as me for halloween ...



me as saddam for halloween ...




Jun 23, 2005

Oops

This is the link I meant for the playing for the other team, your agent called posting

so you wanna battle !?

hey man, jus cause katie holmes got to cruise before you, you dont have to hate ... dont hate dude ... jus dont ...

below, way better hats than bogardus's ...






Playing for the other team? Which one would that be?

Congratulations, your agent called

Adios Go Fo

This is one bad ass governor

More video game news

Adults Only ratings make kids play said games MORE!

In other news, the sky is blue.

"Hi, I'm Katie Holmes. I....love....Tom....Cruise....love....Cruise....
ha....fun....Hubbard....Dianetics....Mapother


And seriously, while I'm bitching about Hollywood-celebrity-gossip-bullshit-non-news, how come Angeline Jolie can make out with her brother on live TV, wear the blood of Billy Bob Thornton around her neck, and talk publicly about sleeping with two men, three women and a knife AT THE SAME TIME, and the whole nation shrugs. Then, we hear she fucked Brad Pitt and everybody goes apeshit. Seriously.




Below - better hat than the previous post

tony and the dreamtones


oooops ! ... sorry bout that man, forgot yer workin wit her old lady now ... still though, pretty good stuff ... i wonder if her moms knows about it ... its not like its x-rated though, so get over it ... christ ...

the beast of gevaudan, aka: die frenchie die !

donkey lovers web ring !? where have you been all my life !
props to the pimpernel, i think he found this first

sunday mornin go-to-meetin, aka: why dont more girls rock this style?



despite the obvious first bazillion questions this picture raises, the only one i really wanna know the answer to is: "why is that big dude so damn sweaty in the background !?"



Jun 22, 2005

I hate rules

I hate rules just as much as the next guy, probably more, but next time you put up a link to a suggestive picture of a girl, make sure I don't work 30 feet from her mom. That means you Drizzy.

Blunt

A bulleted list of FUN!

black hole geometry


ugh ... bein drunk on the bus at 7:20am sucks ... bad ... specially when yer on yer way to work ... managed to sleep almost to the end of the purple line on way north ... 40 min late ... hazah !

zigfried needs these lions
who are you really buyin from ... ?
the scarlet pimpernel and i went to high school with ms september !
just like it says ...
my own verification of my own insecurities ...

lord love you, anthony love booze, booze hate anthony, devel hate man



why am i engrossed in this picture ?

The Hell?

My horoscope from the 2056 Onion:

LeGuin (Jan. 3—Mar. 14)
Your attempt to build a peaceful, agrarian matriarchy in the former northern-Californian archipelago fails miserably when the thousands of cat-fights breaking out amongst the basket-weaving lodgers are traced back to overexposure to winsome folk music.

Wow, the Onion. Officially weirder than ever.

Jun 21, 2005

Always Be Prepared

So this kid's been missing for four days. Got lost on some scout camp trip. They said they found him "cold, thirst and a little weak", but otherwise ok. Not bad for an 11 year old surviving on his own in the wilderness. Go scouts. Except for one thing. He was dehydrated, but they found him NEXT TO A LAKE!!! Survival skills at their best.

Gotta love the boy scouts.

Video Games

Man, I had it bad for awhile. Like this one time, I played so much solitaire on windows, I almost played it with a real deck of cards.

Awkward policy of the day: So Shure won't let me go to theonion.com because it is labeled "Mature" (yet that Ann Coulter story made it through). Why is this awkward? My new coworker used to work at the onion before coming here. I don't know if he can handle such an immature work place.

Blunt

boy o boy do i love popes !


hey man, theyre not lieing, for a short time in the late 80s i carried a sword (that shot out energy versions of itself!) and went around killing bulldogs who bradished bows and arrows, as well as octoroks ! anyway, enjoy the usual assortment of things i found interesting this morning ... i still wanna know who munkeyfartz is ...

titanium spork !!!!

greenlighted cambodian massacres, and eats his boogers ... !? this guys sucks !

since we all love cartoons ...

mein escort nine runnin !




The video-games-cause-violence circus is back in town!

Look out ya'll! I play video games, so I might kill you! Just like how I used to jump on turtles and shoot fireballs at mushrooms a few years back.

"...makes 'Grand Theft Auto' look like 'Romper Room'"

In other news:

  • Onion A.V. has interviews with Philip J. Fry and ATHF. Check out the cartoon goodness!
  • monkeyfartz has joined but not posted anything. This ain't no spectator sport! I'm looking at you, too, Canzona!
  • I love Shatner


Jun 20, 2005

lets talk about death baby

whos munkeyfartz !?




this site used to be open, but now requires a name ... use name: bluntest p/w: bluntBlog

IKEA Army

Reminds me of my days in the Soviet Army fighting Nazis.


Blunt

Freakin' Sweet!

Sept. 27th - Sexy Party - My Place

sexyparty.jpg




In other news, I will try to spend the next week or so making the site look a bit prettier. Any suggestions are welcome and will only be mocked when the mockee is not present.

In other other news, America apparently has respect for other nations.

foo foo

yeah, hey bogardus ... the aestetics of this site (in the words of wesley wellis) eat a bulldogs asshole out with mayonnaise ... i finally looked around at some other peoples blogs, and i feel ashamed, even a little dirty (but not in the christina aguilera kinda way, its not that bad) to be posting such HILARIOUS comments to a site that lacks even the most basic of visual pleasentness ...

anyway

while jerry was a bit of a bookworm, when the other kids said that after the prom they were gonna go hump like bunnies, he took it a bit too literally ...

Jurassic Park + Sunday School = Awesome!

Want to make church fun for the kiddies again?

Finally, verification of my own insecurities

Fool me once, shame on me.


Blunt

you are the swordfish that will never shower


am i the only one on this anymore ?

went to the track this sunday with my pops for fathers day, won 4 dollars on 2 bets ! ha-zah! drinks on me tonite !


this site is beautiful, sometimes hilarious, sometimes the saddest ... i get shivers from reading it ... seriously

Why you R. Kellyin’ those jr. high girls, One time?

i love this style


dj of the week winner ...

Peggy Lloyd ! comin straight out the boogie-down BX BEOTCHES!

she cuts it up wit some serious stank!




honorable mention: Stan Conrad shown here completing his signature move, the "flip-flap-patty-im-da-mack-who-give-a-wack-dj-6-straight-ta-the-mutha-fuckin-dome"


Jun 17, 2005

So ends our deadly game of emu and platypus...


the fun never stops !


dont let yer babies grow up to be cowboys ... that smoke ...

the walls are melting, and all i see are elephants

surreal compliments ... hit refresh for a new one

so she got relaxing style !!!!

the charming gentleman yer cringing at below was convicted of molesting boys in his boy scout troop about a month ago ... seriously, was there ever any doubt !?


Names and such

In case anyone was wondering, my pimp name is Delicious Brunner Love, my comic book character is Beast and I did go to bonnaroo. Bands I saw:
Gabby La La featuring Les Claypool (incredibly disappointing)
Joss Stone
Jurassic 5
Trey Anastasio (with Bo Bice, he's dreamy)
Karl Denson (my head almost exploded it was so good)
Kings of Leon
Ozomatli (awesome)
Bob Weir and Ratdog
De La Soul
Allman Brothers
The Word
Modest Mouse
Fire Weilding Belly Dancers, not a band but actual dancers
Toots and the Maytals
and some others, can't think of them off hand

Does this catch me up?

Blunt

Welcome stranger!

I fixed that link for you, newbie. I can do that because I am blessed with ADMINISTRATIVE POWER!!

Hey, you guys know what I just heard? Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are dating! Wow, you'd think the media would've picked up on that.

Allright, I need to rant about this for a minute. Who the fuck cares?!?! If it was Harrison Ford and......um......the girl on Gilmore Girls(thank Christ I don't remember her name), everybody would laugh and be indifferent. You know why? Cuz they don't have big huge summer blockbuster movies coming out that they're trying to get you to go see. Am I implying that their whole relationship is a sham and a publicity stunt? Well, what makes more sense? Publicity stunt or that this girl wants to publicly make out with a guy who is twice her age, half her height, gay, and in a cult. You decide.

End Rant.

P.S. You think he makes her call him 'Pacey'?

i think you meant to send em here ...


word ... welcome der pimpernel ... yer "pimp name"tm is "Ice Master Scarlet Dazzle" ... booya ... you can make links in the text by highlight the words you want to be the link, then clickin the little "link button" (third from the left in "edit html", and fourth from the right in "compose") ...




i got inked yesterday ... good times ... if i had a camera id share the love ...
heres some more neo-con goodness ... i fucked ann coulter in the ass, hard


Is it on?

Is this how this thing works? We'll just see. Thank you for welcoming me to your trisomy internet family. I'll try to keep the Limp Bizkit to a minimum, but I can't make promises about that. For my first submission, I would like to direct your attention to: www.sweetjesusIhateBillO'Reilly.com

Blunt

Jun 16, 2005

wait, but i was gambit ...


ok, ok ... i did it again and got dr. strange ... which is pretty sweet, but hes no gambit ...


the new member, if he chooses to accept his mission will not leave you wanting my friend, he knows the path of internet bullshittery, NAY!, he walks the path of internet bullshittery ... daily ... we almost got an online crew goin, which means next we start holdin up shop keepers and stealin bikes from the community pool ... this is gonna be sweet ...








want to make yer own church sign !? right here ladies and gents


ps that is an actual qoute from george bush senior, while serving as vice-president in 1987 ...


pps god answered "no comment" to our questions on his "hahahah ... suckers" stance





Poo-holes

Per Driznastic's suggestion (read: demand), we're about to have a new blog buddy. Don't know who it is, cuz I was just given an email address and a command. Since I pretty much do what I'm told, I invited him. As soon as he starts posting links to Limp Bizkit's website, he's outta here though!

Pony, Derek Lee is 25 votes closer to being an All-Star. And Gambit is arguably the coolest X-man there is. Don't sweat it.

I am Gambit!

fuckers, I wanted to be a girl! I don't even know if that was an option. I am not really sure what Gambit is like, should I be happy about that or is he a sucker?

Do it for me SUCKAS!

Alrgiht dudes.
So, as you all should know the All-Star game is coming up. You may or may not care, but I do so listen to me!!! Derrek Lee, who is the best first baseman in the league is in second place in the running for the all-star game. He is second to asshole Cardinals firstbaseman, Pujols, (yes, pronounced like poo-holes, quite appropriate, right?). So, you should all go here and vote! You can vote up to 25 times per person. Corey and Anthony I know you have the time! So, do it so we don't have to watch fuckin poo-holes be a Cardinals loser and we can watch pretty little Derrek Lee kick ass!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Archangel!

There goes Six Flags advertising campaign

... and married six times


hey, this is somethin fun to think about ! 1039 nuclear bombs detonated on US soil ! wheeeeeee !


what was that ... something about a police state ? ... nahhh ...


oh alright it wont be all depressing ... what superhero are you ? ... im gambit ... sweet jumbalaya !




Time Travel Booty Call

Holy Hell, man, your new girlfriend has quite a bio!

Check it out!

Posing nude in the 40s, recurring arrests for shoplifting, drugging her maid to escape Nazi Germany, lawsuits against COREL and Mel Brooks. Kinda reminds me of my own misspent youth. Except for the shoplifting. Stealing is wrong.

hottie inventors


hows this color scheme, corey ?

in accordance with the pimp name site, i shall be now known as ...

Mr. White Chocolate A. Loco

thats MISTER White Chocolate to you, sucka ...

the rest of the drastics are as follows ...

chris: "Macktastic Merrill Rockefeller"
tom: "Delicious Tom Rock"
bijan: "Master Pimp Bijan Glide"
pat: "Trick Magnet Patrick Smooth"

and that name goes perfectly with my new ride ... heres where to pimp yer shit out if you need to knows ...

speakin of big pimpin, the woman below is hedy (heddy?) lamarr (born Hedwig Eva Maria Kiesler), an austrian born actress who co-invented the technology all modern cell phones are based on (the other inventor was George Antheil, an avante-garde composer) ... more specifically, the original idea was to create something that could control torpedos via radio, of which their model used a device similair in design to player-pianos (antheil had written a piece that required 16 player-pianos, and had thusly created a way to sync them all up) and used 88 frequencys (the same notes on a piano) ...

im gonna have her invent me a time machine now so i can go back to 1940 and work on that ... hot damn !




Look What I Did!

On the bottom left, you will now notice that we can keep a constant eye on our terror alert level. Just looking out for your safety, ya'll. You're welcome.

So, is this blog the ugliest thing in the world or what? Any other format change ideas? How about black text on a black background? It'll be like our secret decoder ring blog.

"How much more black could this be? And the answer is none. None more black!"

That's My Bush!

Heard on the radio last night that Dubya says that Schiavo's autopsy doesn't change his position on the case, because Americans should "stand on the side of defending life." I guess that makes sense considering old boy has been operating with a brain half the normal size for years now.

Can't find a link to go with that story, so I'll leave you with this

Jun 15, 2005

My PIMP name is.............

Funk Master Bailey Flava!!

I'm a little disappointed.

Fo Shizzle

From now on, I shall be known as Funk Master Corey G.

Find out what your pimp name is!

lets de-pants corey


i like the ny-times article the best, specially the picture of the doctor ... yowza !

on a slightly related note, i stripped the varnish off my living room floor last nite, and it got hot and steamy ... so hot and steamy that i felt light-headed and then got dizzy ... some might say it was the paint thinner vapors, but i know it was amore passione ... im pretty sure my brain is still at full mass though ...

speakin of pictures (from before, above the previous line) ... gotta leave you with somethin ...

Schiavo update!

Who would have thought the media could possibly keep going with this story after the woman is already dead? Well, I'm glad they did cuz look what the Boston Globe has to report about the autopsy.

So, not only was she beyond any possible recovery, but her brain was half the normal size and she was friggin' BLIND! So much for all that "But she smiles when people come in the room" or my favorite "She can follow a balloon across the room with her eyes!" Blind, folks. Blind.

But hell, I'm no doctor. Maybe I'm underestimating the power of prayer/miracles/self-delusion.

Bonna-review

Holy hell, I leave for a few days and Driznastic decides he's just gonna take over. Well, goddamn if I'm gonna let that happen!

Short Bonnaroo review:
This is my third year and definitely the best. Thats due to cool people, good preparation, and perfect weather. Apparently we missed a bitch of a heat wave here in Chicago, which is all cool with me cuz it was in the 70s and breezy in Tennessee. Eat me, Chicago!
Saw a cool collection of bands while there. I will try to list all I can remember, Canzona and Ponyblunt can fill in any I forget: Joss Stone, Jurassic 5, Dave Matthews Band, Allman Brothers, Jack Johnson, Modest Mouse, RJD2, De La Soul, Toots and the Maytals, Black Crowes, Saul Williams, and Iron and Wine. And those are just the ones I saw. There was a bunch I wanted to catch, but missed.

If anyone is reading this and wondering, "Bonna-wha?? Who in the what?", Canzona, Ponyblunt, and I (as well as a blogger to be named later) went here over the weekend. Driznastic wanted to come, but we told him there was no room in the car and then laughed at him all the way to Tennessee. Mwahahaha!

PB and Canzona can throw in their two cents about the weekend, if they ever come back to us in BlogLand.

sometimes you gotta feed the monkey



cannonball adderley playin charlie parkers yardbird suite with accompanying squirrel scats ... pre-alvin and the chipmunks ... but still questionable in its hipness ...
proceed with caution

Jun 14, 2005

i already feel the addiction seepin in ...



this guy totally stole my next drastics album design !



blogs are so 2001



seriously whats next ? ricky martin and no doubt posts ?



in the mean time, enjoy these ...





Just the thing for you music/math nerds!!

I thought you two might think this is nifty. Especially you Patrick, this is right up your music geek alley. enjoy and make something pretty for me! NERDS!

Jun 13, 2005

hey hey hey

Well, at least I finally got to my emails to see that Corey had a blog up and going. I think, if we are going to do a blog, it should revolve around the strange links/ information we find online. I have a few doozies that I could post up here too... one day soon I'll get around to finding them. To complete the chain though, we should invite Anthony to the blog as well; he always gets the most random and incredible webpage finds.
Awesome, I'll keep checking it out!

Jun 8, 2005

Speaking of W

Today's reports have Bush's approval rating at 20 points lower than Clinton's on the day he was impeached. God Bless America!

Companionship

Yay! I'm not here alone anymore!

Well, now that we have two people (three if Pinecone ever shows his sweet, sweet ass), this blog needs some direction. What should we talk about? Celebrity gossip? Wacky news stories? Our love of the political atmosphere in the U.S.? Yesterday's Oprah?

I would vote for 80's kids culture, but
that's already been taken.

Pony, if you've never been to that link, check it out. Its a great time-waster and funny as funny can be!

Jun 7, 2005

blogging virgin

So, I guess this will be MY first time. I am kinda nervous. Not really sure where everything is or what I am supposed to do with it. I hope it is as fun as everyone claims it is. If so I think I will try it again, if I love it I will do it everyday! But if I suck at it I might be afraid to try again. So, be gentle...oh, and I want a profile!!!

Weird Animal Alert!

Catgarookey!

How lame am I? I'm just sitting here posting links for myself!

Jun 6, 2005

Jun 1, 2005

Breaking the blog cherry

There's just so much pressure involved in the first post. But I guess this blog with either fall by wayside and everyone will forget it exists, or it will be posted on all the time, in which case this post will be buried in the archives somewhere.

So, I'll just toss out a link or two to some weird and/or funny things and trust everyone else to be a bit more entertaining than my dumb ass.

Yo Joe!!
Jowlers

Welcome to Blunt. ya'll!