KO-NAN

conan vs bear ! guess this has been out there for a while, but ive been sleepin

conans wedding i want the max weinberg 7 to play my weddin dammit

ahh ... this creeped me out then made me laugh, alot

sensitive ... seriously, canada, whats up ... im losin respect by the hour

hehe (not funny w/o sound)

im gettin mine done tomorrow

99 photos of cra-zee people

99 photos of what ?

even MORE fun with wiki-portmanteaus

i love academic descriptions of slang

shoulda jus kept that cocaine in it

the etymology has been widely debated amongst the drastics ...

really ?

tangent ... wow thats fucked up, i thought canada was all liberal

they make me laugh

hehehe

hehehehe !!!

Fun with genetics

Jumping on the wikipedia band wagon

Liger
Wholphin
Zedonk, a Zebroid

thomas "ressurection" paine

click on the link for common sense

pimpernel, what are you talkin bout in yer last post ? the GAE PIE ?? do you mean this guy ?

Unbelievable!

Um... how can a person choose politics as a career and say something like this?

RUDY RUDY RUDY!!!!!

More sports stuff, but pretty cool on a human level

And this is just disgusting on a human level

Read the indictment here

And I didn't post the message above this one. I left it up for the Grand Administrator of Electronically Posted Information and Entertainment (GAE PIE) to figure out what the hell it is.

HOLY CRAP!!!!

And the Hammer falls

neighbor please ...

so at least several times a week i cross augusta and hoyne on my way to wicker park ... usually en route to sultans market for a spicy falafel sammich, and on the corner is a large red brick buildin thats looks like every other ukranian church in the hood so i never even examined it ... until a couple weeks ago i finally tilted my head slightly up to read "Church Of Moorish Scientists, Inc. Prophet Noble Drew Ali, Founder 1926" ... well i certainly didnt expect that ... so here we go ...

white folks dont have the cults on lock, so heres fun with some black cults !

moorish science temple of america

nation of gods and earths

you always give the toughest guys the easiest name to make fun of


i debated postin this as these groups do provide a service of teachin black history and culture to kids that wouldnt get it anywhere else ... specially not in school ... but theyre still pretty crack ...

oh ok, heres some crazy white folks too ...

i hear the kool-aid there is great!

why cant i find a woman like that?

oooh ... ironic

total tangent ...

ya know, i jus cant decide if like funeral-doom metal or sludge-doom metal more ...

on another side note

wikipedia is teh shit

James Brown is Dead

Ok, so he's not really, but here's a news article with a funny title.

jus because

really dont have anything ... jus didnt want a day to go by wit no posts ...

thankyou for the image bogardus ... thassa nice ...

see this guy ?



hes a yellow-footed antechinus ... cute little guy, eh ?

heres some fun facts on there reproductive behaviors !

Mating takes place once a year. The short mating season is apparently stimulated by a certain increase in daylight during the second half of winter (July, in northern Australia).

During this time males travel extensively between communal nests in a hectic mating frenzy.

Mating can take up to twelve hours, with the death of the males shortly after copulation.

With all his attention and energy taken up with sex rather than feeding, stress hormones (Corticosteroids) strip his body of protein and fat. The result is a breakdown in the animal's immune system, and death within two weeks.

so basically they fuck for so long and with such intensity that they wipe their bodies clean of any nutrients ... fun !

thas all i got, yall no-postin suckas

Kitty's are cute, dammit!

So, I was doing a GIS of 'karma' to contribute to Driznastic's post and, for some unkown reason, God Bless Google, came up with:



Is your day better now, Driz?

Also, totally stealing this from Fark, but its a worthy cause. Go here and look about halfway down the left side to see the dumbest opinion poll ever. Farkers are already totally screwing it up for them. Vote yes!

lessons

ok, so you ever have one of those mornings where multiple accounts of wack shit hit ya before you even start your day ? and i dont mean like not bein able to find yer keys or gettin splashed on by the bus or even bein late for work, im talkin bout bizarre social shit that jus makes you not understand people ? see, i like to keep my life as drama free as possible, and alot of the fact that my life is pretty much drama free is cause of the circles i keep ... however lately ive been hangin with some people that seem to only know how to exist in a perpetual, self-perpetuating even, state of drama ... i dont want to get into details, but before 9am this morning i recieved: strange text messages from a petty petty drama queen of a man, a strange email from a hiphop cat i lightly bashed on this very blog (who ended up bein pretty cool), and a letter from the guitarist for the drastics sayin he quits ... word ... and see, when that much strange shit hits me at once, i cant help but think its some kinda karma thing, like im gettin hit back for some wack shit ive been doin ... but thats a tangent ... regardless, so none of this stuff really bothered me (it kept me up thinkin bout it on the train, stealin away the extra 25 minutes of sleep i get between chicago and howard, but thats about it), but it definetly made me start ponderin bout all this kinda thing ... specifically how and why people can be so petty, self-interested, and jus generally childish ... so after gettin to the office, i took a walk to cvs to buy a disposable razor (i checked my face out in the mirror at work and realized i had missed large patches of my visage while sleepily shaving this mornin) and this locks (dennis, i dont think hes ras, but hes got dreads) thats always chillin round the area and who always remembers me is sittin outside on a plastic bucket, so we get to talkin bout this and that (i hadnt seen him around in a while so i was askin where hed been, etc) and he asks me how im doin, and im like "strange mornin so far, blahblahblah" (but i dont like complainin bout my life to him cause hes homeless for christs sake), and so he starts tellin me bout how theres been this guy thats been encroachin on his haunts, and beggin/pan-handlin where he usually hangs, and whos jus generally been annoyin people (see, despite bein homeless and all that, this dennis guy is one of THE most beautiful people i have ever met in my life, always positive, and never begs ... he jus talks to people and hopes youll help him out ... id say that out of the hundred-plus times ive talked with him, hes asked me to "help him out" once, and im guessin it was jus cause it had been a slow day) ... so this guys been followin dennis around and settin up right down the block from him in hopes of gettin scraglers from the people that helped him out, and it didnt matter if dennis moved, this other guy would jus follow him ... and at first it pissed him off, but he never got in the guys face about it (as said before, because of his
super-chill demeanor) and after a while he saw that all the people that regularly help him out were still comin through ... loose change, a couple bucks, even a twenty on a few occasions ... and right then he looks at me and says "thats when i realized the lord was sayin to me, dennis, dont worry bout that small change business, it jus aint worth it" ...

so, i know my man will never read this, but it always amazes me how you can find lessons placed in the strangest contexts if you jus listen sometimes ... i dont think anything else coulda placed all this shit in better perspective for me right then ... thanks man

word

aigh, on to the stupid ...

its like gettin somethin very expensive and fragile, but not havin to worry bout breakin said item with your big, slow, lummoxy hands

some call him black elvis, doc octagon, doctor doom ... the diesel trucker ! ... hyeahhhhhhh

worst mathematician ever

palooka

alfred paluka


on a side note ... i wrote that entire story out just to have blogger fuck up and make me resign in to post, at which point it lost everything ... this time i copied the entire thing before hittin publish jus to be sure ... and shaw nuff, did the same thing ... whats up wit that ? ive been logged in for 10 minutes ...

on another side note ... bogardus ... you have an unhealthy obsession with kittys ... i can recall three posts with kittys on them now ... i think youve reached your quota ...

Heathen Upbringing

Sure, YOU are an ignorant religion nut who chooses the Bible over science, but in this day and age, it is so hard to raise your children believing in the same superstitious nonsense. Rusty Carter can help.

im addicted

idle hands are the devils playground ...

too much free time

TGIF

Alright, I have had a VERY productive day, today. By that, of course, I mean I got nothing done at work, but the crazy Internet bullshit level is at an all-time high. Here we go!

WTF?

Stewie Griffin wants to be a subservient chicken

First, there was Ebaum's GI Joe. Then, there was Superfriends Office Space. Now, the trilogy is complete as He-man singing Four Non-Blondes


Here's a little something kitty brought to kick-start your weekend. Enjoy!

What happens to a 76 year old tocco?

It goes bad!

aigh ... more ...

go vote for that heino shit dammit ...

or waste time on this like ive been ...

GOOGLE FIGHT !

some i did ...

bogardus vs flish

pimpernel vs sobriety

driznastic vs tha suckas (i demand a recount !)

katrina vs rita

heino vs hasselhoff (YES!)

wu tang vs shaolin (hmmmmm ... )

ok, i can do this all day

enjoy

i guess its me ...

ya know i did it ...
so dont violate or youll get violated
the hiphop sound is well agitated
we never waste no time on a played out ego
so heres busta rhymes wit the scenario ...

whos the man now dawg ?

ytmnd.com thinks they got it all down ...

but they aint they only ones that got that on lock ...

check check check it

BO BO BO !

one post up ^^^^^^^^

randomness

kinda neat idea

for, ya know, those of us who work in offices but want to think about it even more ! (protester is my favorite ... DOUGHNUTS ARE A RIGHT!) they did get the looks on their faces right though

HOLY CRAP!

SEE ! im not the only one that hates emo kids

kinda funny more jus cause this issue has been a runnin gag on this blog ...

id be lying if i said i wasnt a little dissapointed ...

but since i guess this page changes daily, our evil-ness has a chance of goin up ...

Brain shutting down

Remember "Big Trouble in Little China"? Truck driver battling Chinese demi-gods or something like that? Ever wonder what would happen if you turned his truck into one of those New Year's Dragons?

Slow day @ work

Finally, the worlds of booze and weed are combined

Oh, also? Chuck Norris Rules.

mmm ... sexy models

dont believe me ?

check it

sorry

for no posts yesterday ... i was home yesterday ... thought id be recording large german dancehall singers for the new drastics album, but instead jus chilled allday waitin for his large german ass to come back to the crib ... ah well ...

anyway, i love craigslist, if you havent noticed ... specially shit like this ...

call

response

not craigslist

i thought itd be bigger

ive stopped postin strange images for the hell of it ... i dont know why ...

so here ... this isnt photoshopped or cgi or anything ... pretty crazy ...

Is that Hurricane Rita?

Or are you just happy to see me?

Mario has a tiny penis

Congress has announced an investigation into steriod use amongst the Mario family. Yoshi declined to comment.

This is crazy

And I thought I had pretty relaxed standards,this is just stoopid. With a capitol "OO".

Plagiarism

The bunny, it is huge

This is awesome

I gotta start going to church more

lazy bastardos

yeah, so im never gwon complete that tour diary/blog thing ...

long story short, on our day to san francisco (last show) from LA i drank easily about 2 gallons of liquid ... coffee, water, gatorade, whatever, consistantly, all day long ... however, i heard no call from nature allday long ... until that is, of course, we paid our toll for the bay bridge where we were promptly to sit in deadlock traffic for over a mile ... all of a sudden, the bowels started churnin, and literally went from 0 to "piss like a race horse" in about 45 seconds ... seriously, i have never ever ever experienced anything like that before, it felt like my insides were about to rip open ... not pleasent at all ... luckily half way over to san fran theres an island ... or two islands ... i think one is actually called treasure island, and the other one is yucca matte island ... or somethin ... well, as soon as that baby was in sight tom was gracious enough to pull over while i ran up the side of this little hill to relieve what was one of the most glorious urinations in all the history of creatures that micturate ... all the while bridge traffic kept flowin by ... since this was a drainin of epic proportions, i was up there for a while, and so about half way through started to recieve honks of approval (or disapproval?) from passerbys ... pretty sweet ...

anyway, heres a picture that bijan made up ... the use of yellow for the line was a nice touch ... nice work bijan

when will it end ?

never, probably ...

more terrible music plucked fresh from craigslist.org



this guy keeps it real, roxxell fronts with a ny hat and some la bling ... true gangsta ...

i couldnt get the streamin files to work, and also couldnt justify sittin and d/l every track in its entirety, but what i did listen to was terrible ... dirty south style, pop lyrics style about how underground they are ... though you can make a game out if it i guess, see how many tracks you can get through before you start wishin grand mixer dxt never got up with herbie on rockit ...

holy shit, ok, so i first listened to the hi-fi version of this track which musta got encoded at a wrong sample rate cause it sounds like mc chris with whatever the fuck madlib uses on his voice to get the quasimoto thing goin ... once the second mc got up and it was the same style, i knew somethin was up so i checked the lo-fi version ... which is at the right speed ... and is actually ... worse ... at least the sped-up version is funny ...

no comment needed from me ...

yes ! black rock straigh from the chi ... still pretty bad (not the worst though, i actually wish this shit rocked harder) ... witty album cover though ...



will someone else post now !?

You Have Died Of Dysentery

Interview with the creator of "Oregon Trail"

marihunana

its true ya know

its bad for yer kod zena!

What? You want another one?

Ok, this isn't really a joke, but it's still funny:

So last night, Bush told us to call some numbers to help out Katrina victims. 877 XXX-XXXX. I don't remember, I think it spells out 877 Loved Ones, but that's too many numbers. Something like that. Anyway, the important thing is that you don't call (877) KAT-RINA. Why? It's a phone sex line. Best thing is, it's based in Louisiana and she refuses to help out with the hurricane. Funny stuff. Well, maybe not as funny as the Roe versus Wade joke.

Guess which one is mine!
Guess which one is mine! NSFW

Get the rim shot ready

I got a funny one for you guys, sorry no link:

Q: What is George W. Bush's position on Roe versus Wade?

A: He doesn't care about how people get out of New Orleans!

Get it? Get it? Row versus Wade! HAHAHAHA!!!

Sorry . . .

penile

1/3

2/3

hows this ?

or this ? (trauma to the penis ? ... yipes)

dear lord, no no no no no no no (squirmin in my seat even while typin this, jus from thinkin bout it)

ok, enough of that

2 out of 3

Driznastic is now in charge of completing the dick injury trifecta

didnt mst3k ...

do this one ??

in which case i have to call foul on it being film that "time forgot"

yeah, actually ... its right here

bad onion

bad bad onion

but heres a pretty sweet breakdown of all the mst3k episodes ...

more info

der pimpernel is an old man

Your defensive tackle is soooooo fat that . . .

Just read til the fourth or fifth paragraph or til you get bored

No more controllers

You can watch the teaser trailer for Nintendo's Revolution that is coming out in 2006 here.

To compete, Sony has announced that the PS3 will be controlled only by magic. MAGIC, I tells ya!

A little R and R

Anybody need a vacation?

There is a God

Finally someone answered my prayers by making an entire webpage of animals standing on the backs of other animals

Dear God, I would like a million dollars, a winning Cubs season and a pony

I've lost all inspiration for witty titles today

But it could be worse.

So . . . .

Could tell I couldn't come up with a title?

Reactions to the guy from New Orleans

Check out the top row, right column. And keep in mind this is the non-fiction section.

pub crawl hunt fun luck number one son !!!! 2005

TEAM LOS BORRACHOS ASSEMBLE !

before

bogadministrator

canzonadministrator

el capitan !

the lovely borracha

el padre

2/3 of the bluntest

the tree was askin for it, seriously you shoulda the shit it was talkin at el padre

fuck YOU ......... bitches !

after

floatin in space with a golden tee ...

The prophecy is true!

As it is written...

...so shall it be

Why my job rocks

Ok, my job doesn't really rock, but a question came up today: How do you mic a sousaphone? Ask the experts

I can't get enough of this guy.

Gooooood Morning, Peter

There seems to be a problem with your TPS reports

*Update: fixed it

My life number is 11

This is a fun site

all to appease der pimpernel

yeah, im bored, but simultaneously busy at work today ... not doin work stuff, doin other stuff ... not sure what though cause its almost 4, and i havent done anything yet today ... i was sick yesterday, so excuse my lack of postin ...

anyway, were back on it ... todays theme ... wikipedia.org

they never cease to amaze ! (and provide hilarious content)

basically, 75 million years ago (scientist are pretty sure the age of the universe is 13.7 billion years), xenu flew billions of people in these to teegeeack (earth) where he stacked them next to volcanos, and blew them up with hydrogen bombs ...

now i want you all to apologize to tom cruise for all the "crazy" remarks

quadrillion is a real number, and is real big

planck time is a real measument of time, and its really really small

lets get really baked and watch these ! ... kidding ... seriously ...

they got it all

you live in chicago, and whenever you mention "pulaski day" to an outsider, yer met with blank stares ... well, now you know !

i wonder how long till "wikipedia" becomes a verb ...

GIS: "hootenanny" ...

I remembered!!!

Like a new Hunter S. Thompson

I got away with a lot of stuff in my day, usually with bad excuses, but this takes the cake. And the cake for longest link.

Oh yeah, check out the movie "Kung-fu Hustle". It's pretty good. No link. Just a good movie. Rent it. You'll like it. Get some cake.

Someone else better add something cause I'm super bored. Need proof?

This is how work makes me feel.

Ok

So my last post got lost. I think I hit save instead of publish and now it is gone. Your loss. Some of the funniest . . . no no no . . . THE FUNNIEST stuff on the internet. Check it out on wikipedia.

E to the Bay

Buy my Jesus Guitar!

more fun wit ebay

check this guys profile

classic example of a scam ring on ebay ... but check the actual items, 30 RMBs for !!!??????!!!??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... seems a little bit steep ...

and since were on the hedonistica trip ... the remix of kanyes golddigga track is outstandin ... highly recommended ...

and since kanye had adam levine of maroon5 on the first track, check this ... its funny, promise ...

im INVISIBLE MUDSKIPPER ... and i should call you ... ?

and finally ... a google image search for "happy luck fun" brought up this ...



yer guess is as good as mine ...

quick ! to the pub crawl !

This is not plagarism

That's right. I don't stutter when I type. This is not plagarism. In fact Hedonistica stole this little gem from me. The camera missed me, but that's my voice.

Plagiarism

Yes, its on the maing page of Hedonistica, but it belongs here.

Driznastic, I have always been highly impressed with your bowling-between-the-legs maneuver. But this guy has you beat.

I could do that. If I wanted to.

I love salon.com

Check this story out

Sofie's Favorite Holiday

If only there were ninjas and zombies somehow involved...

George Bush doesn't care about people in general

Here's someone who gets it. Discuss.

Don't get mad at Dubya. He's doing what he was hired to do.

bond girls

wow, they not only insult yer intelligence, but make them totally un-sexy at the same time ...

way to go slangcity.com



*added after i originally posted ... this site is cracked ... of particular note ...

slang body parts

insults

Now I like football, but . . .

This is a little over top

politiken

via fark.com, but heres a direct link to the film ...

booze, needles, violence, fire ...

a (recognized) german anarchist party's political commercial

i guess the end translates to "work is shit"

I know what you're thinking . . .

Enough with Katrina already, but sorry, I'm a news junkie. But this is kind of cool

And the latest photo of the Katrina Relief effort

superhero jocks

all kinds of superheros (jocks and nerds) this one gets special note though

its easy ! and obviously someone advertisin this on craigslist has gots to be legit ...

more terrible music via chicago craigslist ...

worst spidey-villains

Because I'm tired of those super hero jocks at the bottom

And to rebut what that other blogger thought of people named Tony

And you wouldn't like him when he's angry

Fox News Doesn't Care About Black People

#1 album in the country, cover of Time magazine, but Fox News doesn't like it.

Because you want the scoop on the latest hip-hop releases, you go straight to the middle-aged, rich, white guys!

mo tour photos

i finally got around to puttin em up ...

here ...

intense

watch to the end ... this whole situation sucks

Someone had to say it

At the risk of being Dixie Chick'ed, a few days after the release of his new album, Kanye West appeared on NBC's A Concert for Hurricane Relief and spoke a little truth about our government's response to Katrina. Watch the video and discuss.

"George Bush doesn't care about black people."

Not as bad as it sounds

and then vomited in distress

New Orleans

And right now my sister the nurse is waiting by the phone to see if she's going down there. I have no problem and commend her for being devoted to helping people, but when the powers that be have a questionable respect for human life, you start wondering.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/09/02/katrina.response/index.html

some original body painting !!!!! super happy fun luck time !

hmm ... kinda creepy ...

puts a whole new meanin on "whats yer sign?" (nsfw-ish) ... aries or aquarius gets my vote for #1 !

id make her leave it on ... ive always had a chlorophyll fetish

cream get the money ... (two references to that tune in a week ! booya !

proof positive jocks jus dont have artistic ability ...

somethin old, and somethin older

ahhh ... see, it all makes sense now ... the ancient alien astronauts from nibiru (the "anunnaki", for the intiated) came to earth " ... for the purpose of obtaining large quantities of gold for molecular seeding of their atmosphere with a reflective gold shielding." ... DUH!

unfortunatly, i spent several years as a conspiracy theory sympathisizer, so alot of this stuff i start to believe, but then they pull out shit like that ... atmospheric gold shield ... wtf ?

natural disaster ? nahhh ... them queers did it !
thanks to the lovely surjeet

fun ! with archive.org

white people pretending to be japanese, to get white people to kill japanese ...
aka: WWII propoganda films are fun !
aaka: worst fake-japanese accent ever

bogardus should remember this from the book "THEM" ... the bohemian grove owl worshipping ceremony ... attended by some very very top ranking people ... the intro is pretty over the top "unsolved mysteries" style though ...

i thought angels and devils would either be A. fighting, B. be more concerned with something other than bakery sales

Something to get the Angries in the Blood

Does the fun ever stop?

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