an open letter to bogardus

Dear Bogardus,

While the image you posted is "intriguing" in the purest sense of the word, it is neither amusing nor poignant. First off, your thesis states no citation whatsoever! It will not be hard to dismantle the proposed hypothesis which I will summarize for you, as you provided none. "That in early 2006, internet instances of "anal fisting" (from here on AF) increased roughly 500% while internet instances of "ass to mouth" (from here on, ATM) stayed on track." In this case, an "internet instance" is limited to web searches and news articles. Now, one might make the obvious conclusion that in January of 2006, Samuel Alito was sworn in as Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. This was of course hastened by the leaving of Sandra Day O'Connor, who we all know, loved the ATM. With yet another conservative on the grand stand, it would seem obvious that the country was doing as much internet research on AF as they could, to be prepared for when Bush's judges repeal Roe v Wade, Brown v The Board of Education, the 13th amendment, et. al. However, I offer a different suggestion to the increased interest in AF. A quick "Google Trends" search of simply "fisting" shows the same trend as "AF" does.¹ The correlation isn't obvious yet, until one starts to think in a slightly more abstract way about "fisting". First, the increase in the evangelical movement seen in America through 2005 and 2006 might have led to this increased presence, as is evident by this Christian's account of the "Fist of Might". As the shroud of mystery is raised, we see a trend amongst the conservatives to address fisting straight away, perhaps intimidated or intrigued by the prospect. Well, whatever the real reason, I just wanted to get that image off the front page when you first click to the blog ... bogardus, comon now! save that kinda stuff for a forum or something, lets try to keep the 13-year-old-sex-is-funny-jokes to a minimum and WTF humor also to a nill ... or if you must, at least make it ironic, or point out how idiotic it is ... please, pretty please, pretty pretty please ... with an LOLCAT on top ...

Yours truly,
Driznastic

ps I'm not saying that "trend" isn't weird, it is ... very weird ... and disturbing ... something i could have lived without ...

and ...

we used to spit on the one in our neighborhood, but these fine folks have decided to do something creative with their hatred of Hummer H2s.

also ...


champale? champaign malt liqour!? where have you been all my life!?
i tried that line on my girl once, that guy had better luck apparently