Mar 31, 2008

quicky

its my day off, i shouldn't be here ...

cool little graph comparing the brits and yankees on certain key political/national/moral/environmental issues ... i was surprised to find that yanks n brits both dont like teh immigants ... unfortunately i wasn't surprised that most americans still think that 6000 years ago there was a garden with happy naked people frolicking with animals until a snake made one eat a piece of fruit thusly banishing them from this garden. comon america.

america + brain (aka any kind of critical thought) = britain.

and

i now have a new standard for hair metal.



aight, im gonna go get breakfast.

More Dead People

Dith Pran, Photojournalist and Survivor of the Killing Fields, Dies at 65

He's the dood from the Killing Fields. Good movie, highly recommended by the Scarlett Pimpernel. And it's got Sam Waterston in it.

(Really struggled to try to make my 4 tag minimum on this one)

Mar 28, 2008

for fun!

sorry, listening to eugene mcdaniels now ... got me all pissed off.


NEWSPAPER CAPTION: "BUNNY" MASK: Little Flores Chrysollsus is all wrapped up in his chemical mask made of chemically impregnated material. His mother has tied the mask firmly around his middle. The "bunny" mask has been approved by the U.S. Army chemical warfare division. The big rabbit ears are for fun. Vision is possible through the composition glass window.

but yeah, check out "headless heros of the of apocalypse" if you can ...
it's so funky you'll cry.
but that might because he's singin' some real hard truths in his songs.

the title track starts out
"jews and the arabs ... semitic pawns in the master game ... the player who controls the board sees them all as the same ... basically cannon fodder ..."

and if you don't know who eugene mcdaniels you better find out ... wrote les mccann's hit "compared to what" as well as "feel like makin' love" for roberta flack.

if you dont know, now you know

Bizzaro World of Politics and Law

The Supreme Court just overruled Bush. They said Bush can't tell Texas that the state is prohibited from executing foreigners when refusing contact between the condemned and their native consulate. Yes, you read correct: Bush was trying to stay an execution.

And on a lighter note: dood writes check on TP for waterbill

And yes, it's legal. (UPDATE: Educate yourself on the law)

New Favorite Site

FaceInHole.com is not as dirty as it sounds.







A picture is worth...

Yargh

yea yea a single link cnn post i know, i'll add more later -

of special note is the last line of the article - oh really buddy? that's something you checked?

Mar 27, 2008

Fast Food Conspiracy

The Thomas Edison of breakfast sandwiches has died. Notice the Chi-town connection. Woot!

Fitting that I spent Easter morning buying Popeye's. Maybe this was the reason for the 25 minute wait in the drive-thru line.

And by the way, Copeland's got a real restaurant in New Orleans that is pretty good.

smarts n crafts

my girl entered a "re-design old boring furniture" competition at designsponge.com and they put her entry up on their website

oh yeah!

Best Picture Evar

Mar 26, 2008

Google Crime

I don't mean to alarm anyone, but there are drugs in Chicago

do you have a subscription to black hair magazine !?

tracy morgan is one bad montana.

nobody pops like this! not even orville redenbacher!

link courtesy lil pampers ross.

oh and this is sick too lp cover lover ... gotta bunch of ones i've never even seen.

and if yer feelin' down on yerself, just take a look at these f*cking people and feel much better ... but wait! what are klingons and capn jack sparrow doin at an anime con !?

oh, and this is now on my amazon wishlist...




(i had to look it up to be sure)...

Homogenate: a chaotic slurry of tissues and cells which results when cell-tissue structure has been mechanically disrupted. (as opposed to by chemical means).

i guess it goes without saying....

the polytron hates thoses meeses ... to pieces.

Mar 25, 2008

This is my body

How many places can you find The Last Supper?

Mar 24, 2008

Bestiality or Farming?

Remind me to never become a farmer in Africa

Mar 23, 2008

Bluntestburgh Independence Day!!!

Mark the calendar: March 23rd is the new July 4th. Or something.

Come visit Bluntestburgh, Iceland! Where everything Bluntest is to be found! Home of the Bluntests' favorite musical artist, Bjork. Where the rivers run foamy with Champale! Every Tuesday nights, dancing lessons from your favorite Moonwalking Bear! Huzzah!

*** UPDATE: Be sure to check up on Bluntestburgh every day, the more hits that site gets, the bigger the 'burgh gets. It's limited to one hit per computer per day. So don't waste your time hitting F5 for an hour straight on Easter morning when you really should be doing other more important things . . . .

Mar 22, 2008

... yes, but is it art ?

spam.
the scourge of all people who use email as a major conduit of communication.

brent gustafson is an american video artist who uses video games as not only a form of inspiration but as a sort of base medium. he lent a piece to the gallery i work for last summer as part of a group show entitled "Gameplay: Video Games in Contemporary Art Practice". the piece was R.I.G. a "video of three games played simultaneously through one video connection." pretty cool. but the piece i really like is entitled AXBX and is a web based work. around the time this show was up i started collecting the strange gif attachments i was receiving in my spam. i have long been a fan/hater of spam. i hate the volume, but love the sometimes beautifully strange messages that are fabricated. i started collecting these gifs with the intention of doing some kind of collage or visual project with it. after studying AXBX, i saw an easy way to apply the new computer graphic structure to this style of presentation. unfortunately this trend of strange gif attachments seem to be out of vogue in the world of spammers and i'm worried that i will not be able to continue building the catalog of images it draws from. so as strange a request as this might sound, if anyone comes across really strange image attachments in their spam, send em my way.

so here 'tis.

A(JUN)XB(JUN)X

Mar 21, 2008

death ray

... i can't believe they haven't used that yet

haven't been in front of a computer for days and it's been lovely ... however, i've fallen behind on my news and i just read up on this ... i never knew manta rays were so freakin' big ... up to 5000 lbs !? wtf !?

here's some amazing pictures of a cousin, the devil ray or mobulas

black on black hatin'

Sen. Barack Obama said he told Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice this morning that he expected a full and thorough investigation of the rifling of passport files by State Department contractors.

why you lettin these triflin ass contractHOS all up in my bidness !?

damn.

the burgh of pitts

yes yes ya'll ... sorry for my AWOL status the last week or so, me and the misses road tripped it to that burg of burghs ... PITTSBURGH! whoohoo ... for a city its size (about 300,000 but 2 million including metropolitan areas) it boasted some really happening architecture, public art, record shops and general vibe that i really got into to. the trip got off to a rough start as neither us thought to bring an atlas, map or GPS leaving us with only a really roughly sketched set of directions copied off google maps. i somehow managed to miss the 90 exit in chicago and ended up on 94/80 instead of 90/80. luckily that worked out as we skipped the skyway and were only a few miles more south then we needed to be saving 3 bucks in tolls ... hazah! this wasn't the first time we would get lost on major hightways ... point being, take a goddamn map when you go on a road trip to places you never been before. we spent the first night somewhere outside the city near the airport (pittsburgh's airport is really far out from the city) and drove in monday during the day. ol girl was sweet enough to let me indulge "the habit" and we hit two record stores; jerry's and the attic. god damn. i could have easily spent days in both these places. jerry's boasts of "not even having a cd player in the store" which was was accurate. warehouse sized space just chock full of vinyl. there was some organization, but the more i looked around the more it became apparent that there had been an attempt at categorizing at one time and then over the years its slowly deteriorated. this became apparent as i pulled a velvet underground and redd foxx comedy album out of the same bin. plus jerry (he does work there) gave me about 70 in recs for 50 even. score. i didn't even get to the 45s which were literally stacked about 15 shelves high in boxes of about 150-200 45s each. each shelf had about 20 boxes on 'em. the other joint was called the attic and was located just outside pittsburgh in millvale, PA. i was a little skeptical after checking out the website. looked kinda like a place that would have 10 LPs in a box for 10 bux each and they're all copies of Saturday Night Fever and Paul Anka. this place was smaller (though it seems they lost a majority of their stock in a flood in 2001 ... shame, look at that pileup!) and had CDs, but more importantly had the ill soul stacks. it was one of these places that if he had a certain record in stock, there were 3-6 copies for you to pick from. no prices on anything, so i was a little nervous when i pulled out the original stax release of sam and dave's hold on, i'm comin, and near-mint copies of wilson pickett's "midnight mover" and the temps "with a lot o' soul" i was gettin' ahead of myself money-wise. however, i forgot i wasn't in dusty groove and picked up the whole stack for way cheap. cha$ching. my hands covered in mold, mildew and dust, we grabbed a quick bite and the woman wanted to check out little earth, who makes purses out of recycled products. stuff like license plates, soda cans and pull tops. unfortunately pittsburgh is simply the home of their corporate headquarters and they looked as surprised as us when we walked into their offices. woops. we did manage to get lost in the "hood" on our way there (consisted of about 5 square blocks) and i drove the wrong way down a very major one way street for a block or two before i realized what i was doing. awesome! we drove around the rest of the city and checked out the university of pittsburgh and some other old school schools (there's like 4 in the city) and stayed at the omni william penn (ooh la la) which we got for 95 bux instead of the original 350 (thanks william shatner!). tuesday night we went to the andy warhol museum and the mattress factory. the warhol was pretty cool, less cause of andy's work and more cause of work by this english artist ron mueck. he creates these amazingly realistic sculptures of people in various scales that you just have to see in person to really appreciate (they are incredibly life like). i dunno if any of you readers went to the warhol retrospect that the MCA Chicago had about 6 months ago but the work on display there eclipsed the warhol work the "andy warhol museum" had. i have to wonder if this is because warhol's whole mantra was essentially "create to sell" and his estate no longer owns any significant body of work. for example, they had a whole floor (out of 7) devoted to warhol's paintings/screenprints of animals. it was really really bad. not only because of the kitsch value but because they were simply bad pieces. another floor was devoted to photos by neke carson who infamously painted a portrait of warhol with his ass. rectal realism kid. his photos were pretty whatever. on to the mattress factory! i had no idea what to expect with this and it ended up being pretty cool. its a museum set up for site-specific installations done by artists that sit in residency at the museum while they work. they have a sprawling complex including apartments for the artists currently working, research offices, an outdoor garden, and obviously the museum. there were only 6 pieces currently up, it looked like we just missed a major show and they were in the process of changing over. this proved a little annoying as 3 of the pieces on one floor were these massive mazes that are to be observed in silence and on the other side of the wall is a guy cutting metal with a circular saw. the pieces were installed by artist James Turrell and were truly disorientating. after memorizing a series of directions on the map outside the elevator you start walking and it immediately becomes pitch black. navigating the turns you come across the "end" which in all three pieces was some kind of light either projected or back lit. here's the stuff we saw. keep in mind these rooms are massive which is crucial in making pieces such as these work. we got there just 30 min before closing time and thusly didn't have time to really take in everything. they had a couple smaller houses set up as extensions of the museum that we couldn't get to in time. and that was it. we got back on the road and i convinced ol girl that we should ball that jack straight across ohio and indiana and on to home.

so yeah, pittsburgh. good job on that.

i got pictures i wanna put up cause there's some good ones.

Awareness Test

Goddamn, I hope Driznastic didn't post this one six months ago!

How many passes does the team in white make?

Pizza!

OK, its the longest gif in the history of gifs, but its worth it

Mar 20, 2008

Mar 19, 2008

Internet Suicide Robot

I don't want to alarm anyone, but Skynet has become active

Mar 17, 2008

hahahahahahaha


hahahahahahahahahahah


yeah that'll happen

Yea, but did you know....

That little girl IS A LESBIAN

Got lesbian glasses and everything, just like Driznastic

3 Year Olds Kicking Ass

Cause if she doesn't, he will

Mar 11, 2008

THIS FRIDAY!!!




THIS FRIDAY
MARCH 14
MORSELAND
1218 W MORSE AVE / ROGERS PARK / CHICAGO
THE DRASTICS
JSAN + THE ANALOGUE SONS
10PM / 21+ / $5

ATTENTION!
The Drastics will be holding their 8th Annual "FEATS OF STRENGTH AND MANLY-NESS COMPETITION" on the eve of this historic performance!

Sign up now as spots are filling up fast! Here's two competitors from last years event competing in the "Ho-Down-Knock-Down Winner-Takes-All" Go get 'em boys! But remember, KEEP IT CLEAN!

You've never "Foot Boxed" until you've gone head-to-head with our resident "Foot Boxing" Champion ... El PAIS PIE! ... Sure to make even a grown man cry El PAIS PIE! is a size 18EE OF PURE PAIN!!!!!! HE'LL MAKE YOU WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!!! LIFE WITHOUT SKIN IN A LEMON FACTORY WILL SEEM LIKE A CAKEWALK AFTER YOU GO HEAD-TO-HEAD WITH EL PAIS PIE! ... And remember, kids compete for free!


thedrastics.com
myspace.com/drasticdub

Fun with Numbers

1 out of 4 teen girls has an STD vs. George Bush's Approval Rating Plummets to Just 19%

Yup, more teens have the itchy-scratchies per capita than there are voters who approve our President.

US to Withdraw Troops from Middle East

Or should I say US is to withdraw "troop" from Middle East

"Fallon cites what he calls inaccurate news reports for decision to step aside" . . . just like the liberal media!

UPDATE: The article new report was from Esquire. Here's the story.

It's 3 AM and There's a Phone Ringing . . . .

and it's coming from inside your pants!!!

Ok, so I couldn't find the clip I was looking for.

That little girl wants Obama answering the phone, not Clinton

lookin' ball show : volume 10











monkey bush
bear attack
like this ? wait, like this ?
i'm assuming a shot for each captured piece ?
nerd flow chart
reason=satan
dirty reds
this friday
micky mouse attacks japan
get yer colon checked

Mar 10, 2008

Mar 8, 2008

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

"Among the techniques the field manual prohibits are . . . stripping them naked, forcing them to perform or mimic sexual acts." Cause if you can't rape a prisoner, then the terrorists have already won.

They want you as a new recruit


And for some reason, there's a whole bunch of French movies on youtube that use In the Navy as the background music. I don't get it.



Unrelatedly, CBS 2 makes a jizzm joke. And by the way CBS, smurfs are blue. What assholes.

UPDATE: For Actor

Mar 7, 2008

Drunk Teens

Keep it in your pants, Actor. It's not like that.

By the way, I didn't realize that this was made by the same guys as Bogardus's Powerthirst video. I like this one better. Too bad I don't know how to embed video. Maybe in another two years of blogging I'll learn how to do that.

Bumbot

"He's a neighborhood vigilante,"says Meredith, "and when he came up with this -- you know, I call it Robocop -- I said, 'Praise God.' "

Mar 6, 2008

the simple life aint so simple

If you listen to the David Lee Roth's isolated vocal track from "Runnin with the Devil", it kind of sounds like the guy talking to himself in the alley behind the Radio Shack.

bogardus... moonlighting ?

hey, so ya'll need to check out bogardus's other blog

hearts + ponies

his last entry starts "OMG this morning i woke up with a huge boner..."

bogardus, care to comment?

stuff from other people

ol' girl sent me laptop engravings

and citro sent me the best cereal ever

LOOK AT HIM

click to make big!

I drink it from my ba-ba

WHAT? No i will NOT put down the colorforms! Who do you think you are?!

You don't KNOW ME, you don't play in my park. I will shove my foot so far up your ass you will be tasting Velcro for weeks.

I AM using my INSIDE VOICE.

Fine! Fuck it, I'm out.

Where the hell is my Big Wheel? You better tell me where you moved that shit, asshole. And if I don't find my backpack in the cubby-hole where I left it, Spongebob as my witness, I will choke you with your own paste.

THE COPS?!?!! Are you kidding me?!

You mainstream that spaz Jake over there, but I decide to have a little fun before nap time and you call the Fuzz?!

Ahh no, Jake buddy....No, no Jake come on I didn't mean it. I'm sorry man. Really sorry man. Somebody get over here and unhook his harness so I can give him a hug.


See, isn't that better. This is nice Jake, huh?

Man I'm sorry you guys. You're just looking out for me.

Hey JESSICA! Remember how on Hundred Day we BOTH brought in 100 Cheerios in a ziplock. Yea, that was awesome.

Man.

I love you guys.

Mar 5, 2008

If this doesn't rock your soul....

Nothing will.

If The Boobs Do Not Fit, You Must Acquit

"I used to hate my body so much," Kozakura, who has appeared in product commercials on television, told the private Asahi network in an interview aired Tuesday. "But it was my breasts" that won in court, she said.

A demo at 3:40

KENYANS

he just can't stop dancin!

yeah, ungh ...
on the good foot!


Animation courtesy DryFact; found in Wonkette's comment section

At the end of Lil Bush's press conference to announce his endorsement of McCain, someone starts shouting "One press conference (a year) if your elected senator?" at which point Bush Jr. speaketh "I see we invited some unruly members of the fourth estate here today. I told the senator we would have a nice polite group here today and I'm disappointed in the conduct of some of blahblahblah"

i know it goes without saying, but bush should not be lecturing anyone on poor conduct.

i question that bush even understands what "fourth estate" means.

Getting Back to Her Roots

Lindsay Lohan Working on Hip-Hop Album

So this was pretty funny, but then I read the last paragraph and found out it was on Motown.

Mar 4, 2008

The Onion

America's Finest Movie Source

A Sad Day for Nerdom

Gary Gygax, you will be mourned from the islands of Ergoth to the Blood Sea of Istar
(Read the comment section of the article for extra laughs)

Driznastic: He should've rolled a savings throw vs. death

BOO-HOO

as if millions of (chunky, drunk, muffled by cheese curd) voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced

OHNOES!!!#*^!!

Mar 3, 2008

Niggy Tardust

Slam poet Saul Williams recorded an album with Trent Reznor and they are offering it for free download on Williams' website.

Bogardus gives it two thumbs up!

Mar 2, 2008

The New IQ

So I read this article that pretty much said some kids aren't stupid they just can't know things. The kids don't fail tests because they're dumb, instead it's that they can't remember answers for tests. Apparently this Ph.D never heard the phrase, "Duh!"

"While he is not sure working memory can be expanded, Levine said children can be taught ways to function better in school . . . . 'While it did not fix her problem, it prevents it from causing too much trouble.'"

Because, really, who needs to "help" children? Isn't it better if we just get them to a point where they don't get in the way of others?