yeah, it's called "checks and balances"

it's what that whole "US Constitution" thing is sorta-kinda based on ...

Judge rejects Bush's 'absolute' immunity argument against subpoenas

Holy Crap

Bus passenger beheaded seat mate, witness says

What the fuck?

And in other news the Chinese are a bunch of lying Commie bastards. Which isn't really news, now is it?

And introducing a whole new world of desperation and childishness (possibly NSFW, but maybe your boss may find this as hilarious as I did, and if your boss does find it as hilarious as I did, then maybe you should be looking for a new job)

never mind the lyrics

... that track is wack.

Obama campaign criticizes Ludacris

even MORE of that LIBERAL slant

Pretty awesome that this didn't get picked up by most of the major news networks ...

Police found right-wing political books, brass knuckles, empty shotgun shell boxes and a handgun in the Powell home of a man who said he attacked a church in order to kill liberals "who are ruining the country," court records show.

Inside the house, officers found "Liberalism is a Mental Health Disorder" by radio talk show host Michael Savage, "Let Freedom Ring" by talk show host Sean Hannity, and "The O'Reilly Factor," by television talk show host Bill O'Reilly.

And Christopher Robin Cried

Bear Stuck in Jug is Shot

more of that liberal bias in the media

More on the Liberal Media's love affair with Obama, and how they don't give equal time to McCain ...

The number of times Senator John McCain’s new advertisement attacking Senator Barack Obama for canceling a visit with wounded troops in Germany last week has been shown fully or partly on local, national and cable newscasts: well into the hundreds. The number of times that spot actually, truly ran as a paid commercial: roughly a dozen.

on the McCain ad ...

As an announcer says, “He made time to go to the gym, but canceled a visit with wounded troops,” the spot shows Mr. Obama playing basketball — without noting that it was during a visit he made to active-duty troops in Kuwait earlier in the week.

brilliant.

hope never tasted so good

Sixpoint Craft Ales (aside from having the nicest craft-brewery website I've seen yet) has a "Hop Obama" brew! Their site takes forever to load, but luckily Beer Advocate has copied the text ...

In keeping with the Illinois senator's unifying theme, the "Hop Obama" is an indefinable ale that doesn't adhere to traditional style guidelines. The 5.2% ABV creation contains five different kinds of European crystal malt and three different kinds of Pacific Northwest Hops. Combined with a Scottish yeast strain for fermentation, the result is a highly drinkable beer with a big malt background and an "Obama" of hops that imparts floral and citrus notes with just a hint of spiciness.

Currently only available in NY and MA, so I won't be drinking one anytime soon ... unless I take some time off and head to NYC during NY Craft Beer Week. This site has been alot of the reason I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like. Designed by yours truly, the full site is coming soon ...

------- addendum

As bijan pointed out: "they shoulda called it The Audacity of Hops" ... they missed out on a grand pun.

and its come to this ...

... so is that NANCY '08? RON JR '08?

Are conservatives so enamored with the man that they won't believe he's dead?

Because from what I've seen, the rest of the family isn't as bad as Ol' Ronny

In an April 2003 interview, Reagan (Ronald Jr.) said, "The Bush people have no right to speak for my father, particularly because of the position he's in now. Yes, some of the current policies are an extension of the '80s. But the overall thrust of this administration is not my father's – these people are overly reaching, overly aggressive, overly secretive, and just plain corrupt. I don't trust these people."

your new and improved ... bluntest!

So, it may not look like much, and in fact might screw up MORE now ... BUT! Your bluntest has moved onto the latest and greatest platform provided by fair Blogger. all this really means is we have access to a lot more cool doo-hickeys, whachamacalits, doodads and thingamajigs that blogger provides. Like that nifty lil label cloud at the bottom. look at it! wow! and that snazzy lil drop-down archive thingy! holy crap!

Yeah, so if you are a regular reader and start regularly seeing something screw up, please comment or drop a line. we do try to be professional around here.

on a side note thingamajig does not get picked up by my auto spell-checker.

bit the bullet

so i bit bullet and upgraded our fair bluntest to the latest and greatest version blogger offers. may take me a minute to figure out the settings and get it back to its normal look ... here we go!

holy christ, is it 1890?

3 Pennsylvania teens charged in fatal beating of immigrant

WHY DOES THE PRESS LOVE OBAMA SO MUCH, AND HATE OUR FREEDOMS MORE!?

The Media has LIED LIED LIED TO US!!!!!!! They interviewed a registered college Republican and then typed out on the teevee screen that he was a MEMBER of the USC Young Republicans! THE LIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I've never met him, heard of him, talked with him, nothing," USC College Republican president Ben Myers told ABCNews.com.

Myers said he's infuriated with CNN, and argued his group is attracting a lot of support on campus.

this is the TOP story under Google News "US" section right now.

and to put this into perspective
Fox's Shively falsely suggested Obama has been a Christian for only "two decades now"
Fox News calls Michelle Obama "Obama's baby mama"
"A fist bump? A pound? A terrorist fist jab?"
Liz Trotta: Osama, Obama, they should both be killed
Michelle Obama: Angry Black Woman
Obama: Madrassa Schooled Muslim

Phat beatz on Sesame Street

Normally I'm Against the Death Penalty

But not when it results in hilarity! That Christopher Scott Emmett, what joker! (Except when he's beating his coworker to death with a brass lamp so he can take his money and buy crack, of course.) "Tell my family and friends I love them; tell the governor he just lost my vote," Emmett said in the chamber before he died. "Y'all hurry this along. I'm dying to get out of here."

I'm holding out for Quantum Leap 2020

Dear Hollywood:

A few months ago, I saw the Speed Racer movie and it was surprisingly good.

But since then, I notice that there are a lot of things happening.

Some of them good. Some of them bad. Some of them just weird

Dear Hollywood, please make less movies about cool shit I've already seen. It was cool and I loved it then, but right now I really need to see a movie about the dude who played Jesus coming from the future to fight dragons in the past.

Love,
Bogardus

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Mr. Beau Gardis-

your request has been processed

criminal cartography

Find out who in your neighborhood is a criminal! Once again, Google Maps and their contributors and 3rd party application developers amaze me. Obviously there is a lot of ground for discussion here. Should information like this be made publicly available with just a few mouse clicks, especially in a society that (at least in writing) bases its criminal justice philosophy on the idea that a person can be reformed.

fun scans

a strange occurrence through several "Defenders" comics ...

embarrased

usually not into these but, this beasts' face cracked me up



what is that? an elephant seal or something?



this post sucks.

tyrone green and his reggae band

I thought they were going to sing "Dayyyyohhhh"

saturday

Saturday, July 26, 10pm
1621 N. Kedzie (corner of North and Kedzie)
3rd Floor
5 dollars
Kegs

DJ Jean Shorts
Crooks + Children
The Drastics w/ MC Zulu and Fada Dougou on the mic

... and i've found that the drastics be the ill funk freakers ... fada dougou said so

lookin' ball show :: volume 12

the rarely seen "Big-Rig Mating Ritual" || as usual ... the internet confounds me ... not only did someone THINK of that but they took the time to make it!? why!? || i have a book with most of these posters in it, still alot of great work there || looks real ... || do NOT mess with them || not sure this is real || truely unbelievable, everyone involved in this is a goddamn retard || they see me rollin. they hatin. || anarchists for obama?

YOUR tax dollars at work

here's what the government spends your money on!

Air Force generals have spent $7.6 million to design and build four "comfort capsules" to be used on planes ferrying general officers and other VIPs. ... Changing the seat color and pockets alone was estimated in a March 12 internal document to cost at least $68,240.

The investigation by the civil rights division of the United States Department of Justice and the office of Patrick J. Fitzgerald, the United States attorney here, found that the jail had systematically violated the constitutional rights of inmates. “You can’t have conditions where people are dying and being amputated,” Mr. Fitzgerald said at a news conference.

to note: i'm more socialist then most, so this is not a libertarian-esque cry against taxes, but there needs to be more accountability in appropriation of funds.

Dangers in Tuba Playing

"You can't really hear anything when someone's overhead. Then at the last minute, you could hear some rustling," described WO3 Scott MacDonald. "That's what I heard, 'Oh expletive,' and then crash." Hallock was going around 50 mph when he smashed feet-first into the tuba and trumpet players. (The video is fantastic! Be sure to have your sound on to hear someone yelling "MEDIC!")

Another injury caused by a sousaphone (though it's more of an emotional injury)

Run you Band Geek, RUN!!! (I might've posted this before)


Flaming Tuba of Danger

Rednecks Ruin the Republican Party

"I believe 9/11 could have been prevented if we'd had a Republican president at the time," . . . . someone should tell that dood that Bush was president at the time. Well, at least he's not making a billboard out of it.

Stoopidest Injury Ever

Ok, this is a semi-sports story so I'll break it down for all you non-sports fans out there. So two brothers are quarterbacks in the NFL (the guys who throw the ball) and they go back home and chop some wood. Here's the good part: "Back home in Texas, McCown said he was holding the firewood and his brother, a backup quarterback for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, cut his finger instead of the wood."

Why in the hell are you holding the wood your brother is chopping? It's wood, it's not going to run away from you. The Mofo might lose his job over this. Stoopid.

Come With Me If You Want To Live

On the final day of the Global Catastrophic Risk Conference experts will focus on what could be the unintended consequences of new technologies, such as superintelligent machines that, if ill-conceived, might cause the demise of Homo sapiens. "Any entity which is radically smarter than human beings would also be very powerful," said Dr. Nick Bostrom, director of Oxford's Future of Humanity Institute, host of the symposium. "If we get something wrong, you could imagine the consequences would involve the extinction of the human species."

Read this article. I'd put up every funny line from it, but I'd end up pasting the entire article.

So what will our new cybernetic overlords look like?

Old Strippers

"No, no. I'm not ready to hang up my G-string, yet. I've got too many fans that would be disappointed."

Fits well with this Bluntest throwback

What's good enough for Elvis . . . .

An American Pastime: Smoking Pot

Seriously, that's the title of the article

The Can Take Our Beer, But They'll Never Take Our Freedom!!!

Anheuser-Busch will be bought for $52 billion by a Belgian company. So now we no longer have to take responsibility for how crappy mainstream American beer is, we can blame the Europeans and Africans.

So what does the InBev buy out mean to the everyman? The foreigners probably will not be met as liberators by unionists, that's for sure. Layoffs will probably be on the way. Hell, InBev even tried to fire the board of directors already. InBev CEO Brito has a history of laying off workers to cut corporate costs.

The bottom line? There'll probably be even more out of work people who have nothing better to do than go to the bar and give their American dollars to foreign companies.

F.F.F.

Five Feet Found in Canada

It is the fifth human foot to wash up on beaches in the area in the past year. The latest find is a left foot, whereas the other four were right feet.

They just did a whole story on this the on NPR and, I swear to god, there was a soundbite of a guy saying "Well, we just don't know how it happened, there's no signs of trauma so these feet might have just fallen off naturally."

...
...

Now, I assume he meant "naturally" as in the person was dead already and through decomposition and water current, the foot separated, but ... could a phrased that better.

in less gruesomeness ...
This is a nice lil' reggae mix put together by chicago reggae DJ Rikshaw aired on "Echo Beach", the same program I did a mix for a few months back ... Rikshaw used to do every Sunday at Sonotechque. Recorded live at the Abbey Pub as warm up to Mad Professor, April 5th, 2008.

BLOGAGEDDON!

this month has seen more blog posts then the last 2 months combined, and it's only july 12 ... i actually don't know if that's true, but it seems like it ...

The Shape of Song
This is pretty incredible, and I'm sure the algorithm to generate the images is more complex then described here. Might take a minute to load, but it's worth the wait.

segway ......... TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!

i.d.i.o.t.s.

Why do I feel like 90% of my time on The Bluntest is spent pointing out what idiots people are.

here's my latest find of idiocy, courtesy of "Luke Boggs a writer living in Alpharetta"

his story Obama's frequent regrets may make us sorry

anyone with a 3rd grade education (even an American 3rd grade education) can immediately see through/debunk this "article" ... my heightened annoyance stems from the combination of this being on Google News' main page and me being on my 5th beer. my favorite quote ...

So what jumped out at me was how quickly Obama regretted his decision. And that, in turn, made me wonder how often the senator has regretted other choices. Answer: pretty often. (Googling "Obama" and "regrets" yields more than a million hits.)

(the "decision" Obama regretted was to put his kiddies on the teevee)

Ol' Boggy then goes on to describe exactly three (3) times Obama has "regretted" something. One (1) for each year 2006-2008. First off, 3 regrets in 3 years for someone who is NEW to the scrutiny of the public eye is a pretty good record. Especially since one of the "Regrets" listed was letting his daughters be on Entertainment Tonight, or whatever show it was. I dunno, maybe there's a direct link there to National Security Policy I'm just not seeing. Just because Obama acknowledged making mistakes doesn't indict him as the only politicians who DOES make mistakes. Bush's M.O. has been the political equivalent of sticking your fingers in your ears and screaming "NAHNAHNAHNAHNAHNAH". Really, all of this makes me wonder; what is with this strange national obsession against a president showing humility? I understand the current precedence (of at least the past 8 years) is that our Commander-in-Chief does what he damn-well-pleases and not-never-no-how apologizes for anything. But ...... I mean, even conservatives don't like Bush anymore, so what gives? Have people already forgotten what happens when a head strong president does what he wants? We end up in 2 quagmire wars with no end and no purpose, a faltering economy and a severely damaged ecological state. If this is the best The Right can come up with against Obama, they should take those McCain campaign bucks and hire Karl Rove back. Though he's so busy ducking subpoenas from Congress he might not have time ...

oh, and i'm just taking a break from freelance work right now ... s'only reason i'm up and mostly sober at 3am ...

########ADDENDUM

the folks over at Bad Idea Blog read the same article and had a similar reaction.

just plain fresh

yes.

wall-e fresh

I'm looking forward to actually seeing the movie, but in the meantime, I've been floored by WALL-E's line of retro-inspired posters. designed by Eric Tam, these things are pretty happenin!

Anyway, I've collected and archived as many as i could find online ... M-O is definitely my favorite ...




And I'm listeing to NPR right now (libtard rhetoric) ... why does Condi Rice pronounce allies like AHHH-lies? but like, says it real fast.

DAMN YOU MOBSTERS!!!!!

You've successfully thwarted my planned trip to Summerland, Japan

because it will inevitably be removed at some point ...

As a general rule, people affiliated with mobsters or criminal organizations are not allowed to enter the premises. The same applies to people wearing tattoos. This rule will become effective on 1 July 2008 and applies to the entire premises of Tokyo Summerland. Any people found to be ignoring the above rule will be asked to leave.

※Tattoos: including body sticker and body paint.

though at the bottom ...

Once exiting the park, for re-entry, please have your hand stamped or receive a re-entry ticket at the front gate.

Curse you Summerland and your re-entry conundrum!!!!

Self-Defense Video

I feel kind of bad for finding this funny. Maybe it's the guys accent. Maybe it's cause he sings while hitting the guys head on the table. I dunno. I still feel bad about it though.

Dosing the Po'

Some kid dropped off cookies laced with LSD to 13 police departments in Texas. 3 cops got "sick" (2:00 is the best part). So said a cop: "'Our officers took a good whiff and thought they smelled like marijuana,' McGuire said, adding that preliminary tests instead detected traces of LSD." Which is totally understandable as reefer has a fairly pungent odor and LSD is odorless.

(2 good things about that last link: 1) The page is entitled "Neuroscience for Kids) and 2) The tripped out star man that makes LSD look like a lot of fun)

Ding-Dong ...

The evil witch is dead

In nearly every account of Helm's death I read there is inevitably some soundbite/quote from a "man on the street" saying "Well, you might not have liked what Helm's stood for, but at least you knew where he stood." ... Is this seriously all we expect from our politicians these days? Not that we really need a refresher course on how much of a backward thinking - bigoted - pig-headed - sheep-raping - asshole of a douchebag - stupid-face Jesse Helm's was ... but let's review ...

From the beginning, Helms was schooled in the political device of using race to propel white conservatives to the polls. As news director for WRAL radio, Helms supported Willis Smith in his 1950 Senate campaign against Frank Porter Graham, the former president of the University of North Carolina. The campaign theme was that Graham favored interracial marriages. "White people, wake up before it is too late," said one ad. "Do you want Negroes working beside you, your wife and your daughters, in your mills and factories? Frank Graham favors mingling of the races." LA Times

Helms was a tireless advocate of life and family values. As the chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, Helms proposed in 2001 to scrap USAID and its pro-abortion policies and allow private and religious groups to take over its work. Helms also denounced CEDAW's attack on "Mother's Day," which the convention viewed as a matter of discrimination.
Some nutjobs - yes, let us ONLY honor those women who give birth. they are the only ones contributing to our society, and properly know the place of women: as mothers, nothing more.

After being the target of a protest during a visit to Mexico in 1986, Helms said, “All Latins are volatile people. Hence, I was not surprised at the volatile reaction.” BeyondChron

In an article written by editor Bob Windsor () entitled "Jim Hunt is Sissy, Prissy, Girlish and Effeminate," the publication made the outrageous claim that Hunt, while a student at N.C. State, had a "pretty young boy" as a lover... Windsor had merely "printed rumors," Helm's said, and admitted that he could not verify whether the charges that Hunt was gay were the "truth or factual in any way." Windsor compared the story to Hunt's unsubstantiated assertions about El Salvador that had labeled Jesse Helms "a murderer by proxy." "I never accused Hunt of being a fag," Helm's said. Reason Magazine (Jim Hunt was the incumbent Governor of North Carolina Helm's went on to defeat in 1984)

Wheeeee! America!

But hey, we here at The Bluntest aren't so one sided. Here's some fun with everyone's favorite Black bigot, Louis Farrakhan! I recently acquired 2 sealed copies of Farrakhan's 1984 release "Let Us Unite" released on A.V.C. Records (no combination of Google searches yielded any result on this label). The album is truly awful and consists of 2 different songs, one on each side followed by a radio-edit version (4 tracks total) and Farrakhan's (then) baby-face smiling oh-so-pleasantly at you from both the cover and back. The A-Side is like a really slow calypso groove and the flip is some straight 80s R&B. This shouldn't come as too much of a surprise to those of you familiar with Farrakhan's Calypso Career! Yes, in the 1950s and 60s before becoming an "Islamic" activist and Hitler-Youth candidate, Louis Farrakhan was known as "The Charmer" releasing a handful of solo albums as well as being included on compilations along side calypso mainstays "Lord Kitchener" and "Duke of Iron". Follow that page all the way through for some good times, and to also remember what the internet was like in 1996. Real Media? Seriously!? People still use that!?!? Here's a ton of info on "Mighty Charmer's" singing career courtesy of NLISATT (that of course being the National Library and Information System Authority of Trinidad and Tobago). Louie seemed (seems?) to have a fascination with the transgendering as well, evident in a tune focused on this guy/gal Christine Jorgensen. Is She Is, or Is She Ain't highlights the widely publicized sex-change operation Jorgensen underwent during the 1950s. Listen to the words if ya don't buy it.

And in accordance with the "African Name Generator" I have unshackled myself from the White Man's Grip and will now be called Zaghawa. Please update cell phones and address books accordingly.

I think I speak for 95% of Americans out there, White and Black: Lou. Get back to singin' man. Seriously.

Axis of Evil My Ass!

So, while Bush is talking all hard about how the US is going to bomb Iran till the sands turn to glass, how exactly are the US actions backing such tough talk? By selling them our precious natural resources such as cigarettes, bras, and bull semen. BULL SEMEN!!! Now how will I eat my mexican cheese puffs?

Worst Quote Ever

(Courtesy of my brother)

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

It's been 100 years since the song was written and ESPN is having a contest to see what band plays the best rendition. Check out the Punch Brothers version and if you like them, vote on the right. Skokie's very own Noam Pikelny is the banjo player.

I Love Reality TV

I've heard of models having eating disorders to lose weight, but this is ridiculous

Best Quote Ever

Let me just sum up what the article is about: Nebraska's Supreme Court held that the electric chair was cruel and unusual (i.e. an unconstitutional and thus illegal form of capital punishment). Nebraska law only provides for a person to be sentenced to death by electrocution which it can't do now because of the Supreme Court holding. So the big question is what to do with all the inmates sentenced to death? Right now there's no law on the books in Nebraska allowing for an alternate form of execution and even if there were, some of the inmates were specifically sentenced to "death by electrocution". And now the best quote ever:

"If someone tells you with confidence that they know how this will come out, you should get an ounce of what they're smoking," said Bob Schopp, a law professor at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln who specializes in criminal law and capital punishment.

Outcome: Nebraska kills them with lethal injection. Now who wants a lid for $450?

And apparently Bush is totally down with sex tourism:

RECTAL THERMOMETER TO BE UNVEILED NEXT ...

Russian city unveils monument to the enema

hey, here i am

EVERY FIRST THURSDAY
DRASTIC DUB NIGHT
AT
REGGIE'S MUSIC JOINT
2105 S STATE ST, CHICAGO IL

TONIGHT!
JULY 3rd
9pm 'till CLOSE
ONLY FIVE BUX

ON THE MIC
MC ZULU
FADA DOUGOU

ON THE DECKS
BOSSLADY DJ
ANTRON9K
SPIN REGGAE + DOWNHOME SOUL

ALSO FEATURING
-> GIANT SPIDERS IN SHORT PANTS
-> CHARLIE MCCARTHY LOOK-A-LIKE CONTEST
-> HEADLESS HEROES OF THE APOCALYPSE
-> DRIVE BY LAUGH-OUTS
-> WORKS ON SAND PAPER
-> REPLICA TROUT MASKS
-> PLUS SIZE PENGUINS
-> TAR + FEATHERING CONTEST
->ONTOLOGICAL CRISISESES
-> ERRRRD FEEEEEFTEH FERRRRRRRR
->VACATION SLIDE SHOWS
->MINIATURE RECREATION FIREWORKS

How to be a hero

Just do it

Free Trade at Its Finest!

The US gets cheap labor, Mexico gets lessons on how to torture

Justice with a Snap!

Now introducing to the Bluntest: Judge David Young! The gayest judge in America! Seriously gay.

Sloooooooooow News Day at CNN

Children's books reviewed by children is a headline

Some Harry Potter inspired science

Actual headline: Cops: Cat held hostage for dog's return

Actual headline (with video!): Cops: Man collected, drank boys' urine

Mean while, lower on the page buried under the international news section: Troop deaths in Afghanistan surpass Iraq

Makes me wonder whether worrying about government involvement in the media is such a big deal . . . it's like getting your pinto towed . . . .