Delgo

What does it take to make a brazillion dollars in the theaters these days? If we take a page from movies like Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, or the Pixar movies, we can guess that you will be a success if you make a CGI animated kids film featuring an all-star cast of voice actors. But we would be wrong.

I present for your consideration: Delgo

A CGI film released on December 12, 2008, Delgo features the voice talents(?) of Freddie Prinze Jr., Chris Kattan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anne Bancroft, Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Louis Gossett Jr., Eric Idle, Burt Reynolds, Kelly Ripa. STAR STUDDED! (Freddie Prinze and Louis Gossett are my second and fourth favorite Jrs after Robert Downey and Cordozar Calvin Broadus)

Wikipedia tells me that this film is the story of "A teenaged boy, Delgo (voice of Freddie Prinze Jr.), of the terrestrial Lokni people on the alien planet Jhamora, and Princess Kyla (voice of Jennifer Love Hewitt), of the winged Nohrin occupiers, fall in love and save both societies from would-be conqueror Sedessa (voice of Anne Bancroft), exiled sister of the Nohrin King Zahn (voice of Louis Gossett, Jr.)." If you don't think that sounds like an instant classic, we probably can't be friends.

But contrary to the popular trend with CGI kiddie movies featuring actors who can't get other work, this film has not been so successful. It was released exactly one week ago and it has broken the record for the WORST movie opening of all time. Opening on 2160 screens, it earned a whopping $511,920 and has already been pulled from theaters.

Now I am sure you are saying to yourself "That is an only mildly interesting story and it is wasting space on my blog!" but there is a happy ending to the story. You see, it features Val Kilmer in the role of a lifetime:









(Thanks to Suzanne for showing me the way of Delgo)