Volodymyr Palahniuk

I always kinda liked Jack Palance, but when I found out his real name was Volodymyr (same as an uncle of mine) and he put out a album of country western music back in 1969 I gained a new appreciation for the boxer turned star turned b/cult movie staple. Also to my amazement, I learned that his easily recognized mug was not the product of his Ukrainian immigrant parents, and not from his years boxing under the name Jack Brazzo but from a botched military training flight over Arizona that forced young Walter (Volodymyr is Americanized to Walter) to bail from a burning Liberator Bomber. The military paid for his reconstructive plastic surgery that gave Palance his now famous rugged look.

Palance was nominated twice for the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in the early 50s and took the Emmy for "Best Single Performance by an Actor" home in 1956 for the Rod Serling led "Playhouse 90". He got a chance at finally playing the good guy in 1975 on the failed series "Bronk" playing Lt. Alex Bronkov ...



Finally winning the Oscar that long elluded him for his role as "Curly" in City Slickers (1992), Jack obviously felt it was time to take his career in yet another direction penning "The Forest of Love" where ...

Jack Palance takes us on an intimate, emotional ride through a dual love affair -- the love of a woman and the love of nature -- intertwined in a journey filled with exhilaration, passion, ecstasy, disappointment, remorse and, ultimately, rebirth.

Here's a funny story of Palance sticking it to the Russians for not recognizing that Ukraine is not Russia.

Jack died in 2006 of natural causes. Rock on Wally!

Recording and Jeans

You know those Levis commercials? Yeah, got into a conversation about whether or not that was actually Walt Whitman reading those poems. (The poems are written by Whitman) My sister said that it couldn't be because, you know, he's from the 19th century. Well, lo and behold, the "America" poem is likely Whitman, though the other one is read by Will Greer, who played the grandpa in the Waltons. It was likely recorded in the 20's or 30's.

Anyway, the first recording of the human voice was by a Phonautogram in 1860. (Check the audio clip on the right side.) If you don't feel like reading that, here's the gist: This thing recorded sound as a line on paper or wax so scientists could study the acoustics of the recording. However, they didn't realize that these recordings could be played back. The first time these early recordings were played back were in 2008.

PS Some say Whitman liked the little boys. I'd give a cite, but google popped up a NAMBLA cite, so I didn't want to click it. Do it yourself.

God bless The Onion

Kind of Makes You Want to Get Freaky-Deaky

MJ A ROCKER

In honor of his birthday next weekend!

Some of you thought it was a joke ... but it's very very real ... and finally here ... ! Our tribute to Michael Joseph Jackson .. imagine Sir Coxsone in the engineering seat instead of Quincy and your about half-way there ... Included are I Want You Back, Rock With You, Don't Stop 'til You Get Enough, Billie Jean, Smooth Criminal, and The Way You Make Me Feel ... These aren't instrumentals or covers-per-se ... you just gotta hear it to believe it ...

as MC Zulu would say ...
SPREAD THE WORD!
DOWNLOAD IT

Can you Digg It?

You know that website that lets users rate websites (or something, I've never used it.) Ever wonder what the founder did before he came up with Digg?

Wiener Poopie

You gotta pick up your wiener poopie or they steal your Jesus

awful bloggers

I'm not into too much anime but this is a pretty insane illustration ... in pencil/pen and inked

And bogardus asked me to attend his birthday party last weekend. It was pretty lame ... I went and took this picture, then split.

oh yeah! no original content! ungh!

blogs from the dub side

Strictly Vinyl Reviews #004
This time around on the review block ... Edikanfo, The Esquires and Oscar D'Leon ...
[Read More]

Third Thursday, Free Mixes, Part 5
Ongoing monthly series ... this month download "Cool Down The Pace"
[Read More]

Drastic Vinyl
Shameless self-promotion here ... we got new vinyl coming in ... 2 different 7"s both featuring MC Zulu on "Love is War" and "Lonely No More" ... find out more!
[Read More]

sgt slaughter's charity golf auction

Aight. I bet all you little tricks and marks been wondering where big daddy poppa pants Abbinanti been. Well, I'll tell ya, it's not easy being Rosie Perez's personal assistant ... ok!? Doesn't leave you with alot of time to "blog" ... ok!? She's been all moody n shit since "Pineapple Express" didn't blow up her spot like she'd hope so I kept having to go down to the Sizzler and get her 2 baked potatoes and 3 pieces of fried chicken (with the batter removed) ... then there were all these meetings about her playing the lead in a Sotomayer movie (tentatively titled) "Wise(ass) Latina" .. I think its slated to be a comedy co-starring Billy Crystal and Sgt. Slaughter .. if it doesn't conflict with Slaughter's charity golf tournament. I remember I spent a week one night just coaxing her out of her bedroom after she was convinced the ghost of Woody Harrelson was trying to play her at a game of 1 on 1 ... to this day she still can't tell the ghost of Woody Harrelson and the ghost of Patrick Swazye apart! Crazy! There was this other crazy night when Rosie was suppose to be out of town at a "21 Jump Street" reunion dance at the Olive Garden so I invited my boy Moolar over ...

yo, for real, Moolar got this crazy copper pyramid that he brings around with him, it's like 10 feet across and can fit 3 people in it ... once you get in, he says some shit and the whole muthafuckin thing starts glowing blue with electricity! We started doing mad rips from this solar chalice he got hooked up to the pyramid that's straight HEATED BY THE SUN EVEN THOUGH ITS NIGHT!!!!! shit was rootical. This was back when Madoff was ballin' too so he came by later with like 8 crates of records and this pad of wack ass rhymes he used to write. He started free stylin over the instrumental side of "Break My Stride" and he pretty much killed the binghi circle we had going in the cosmic pyramid. Just as well anyway cause right then Rosie rolls in with a crew consisting of Troy Mallory, Peter DeLuise and Holly Robinson Peete ... they looked pretty fucked up and were talking about taking their cars down to the ravine and doing some drag racing ... I figured the party was winding down so I just grabbed some Miff Mole 78s out of Madoff's stacks, threw em on, and chilled ...

Jamaica Avenue

What should I get for lunch?

Pretty Woman

JULIA ROBERTS WILL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL



JULIA ROBERTS EATS BABIES



RUN FOR YOUR LIVES

Bar Conversation

Pimpernel: "What is Val Kilmer even doing these days?"
Bogardus: "Getting fat and running for governor."

Internet: "AND LOTS OF OTHER THINGS"



EDIT:My favorite parts of this Wiki page:

"Following their appearance together in Top Gun, Kilmer and co-star Tom Cruise reportedly have taken their on-screen conflict off-screen. Reports have classified the two as holding a vitriolic hatred of one another. Kilmer even refused to participate in a charity beach volleyball game with Cruise on the grounds that he was, quote, "dangerous".

and also, lest we forget:

Larry and Steve

Once upon a time in 1997, Seth McFarlane worked for Hanna-Barbera Cartoons. Before Family Guy was called Family Guy, it was a seven minute short called “Larry & Steve”,



Weird

vacation

oh man you guys, I'm sorry i haven't posted in... *checks*... five months! Really? damn. Anyways, I was on vacation, backpacking across Malta. But I am back now and I am ready to get this blog back on its feet!

Here are some of my vacation pics

Blogging Psuedonyms

So I normally don't like to post to other blogs. Unless those blogs are particularly unheard of or just wicked cool. Yes, wicked cool. But, here a well known political blog that's name ends in the feminine "ette" suffix, yet they are amazed when people refer to it with a feminine pronoun, describes the dangers of using blogging pseudonyms and how they just might not work as well as you'd think they would.

Moral of the story? You other fools better come up with a plan B in case someone finds out who you are. It's a good thing I really am the Scarlet Pimpernel!

Stooper Heroes

Superheroes Anonymous brings superheroes into real life - taking to the streets and becoming a visible icon of community service and activism. We create the change by helping the needy, fund-raising, combating crime and inspiring others to take action.

And a video

And more amateur superheroes

Pictures too!

Though a note: if you're going to "fight crime" or go "patrolling the streets", don't carry around a fake gun. You'll get your ass shot. (Though, if you look at the cities these superheroes patrol, I'm not too worried.)

Seriously, what the fuck? It's time for some people to move out of their parents basement.

awesomely strange Marvin Gaye videos

Belgian documentary, with Marvin on solo piano.


Alternate lyrics to "Distant Lover" ... included with the deluxe edition of "What's Goin' On" ...

We're Ladies, Fuck You

charles gorzcynski - alto saxophone
nate lepine - tenor saxophone
elliot ross - guitar
chris merrill - bass
anthony abbinanti - drums

we're ladies. FUCK YOU!

Wait, what?

"Chris Kennedy, the son of the late Robert F. Kennedy, is taking steps to run for Senate and could announce his candidacy as early as next week, a source close to the Kennedy family told CNN Wednesday. . . . If elected, Chris Kennedy would follow in the footsteps of his father, Robert, who represented New York in the Senate before being assassinated in 1968." Is CNN predicting Chris Kennedy is going to get assassinated?

angel queef?

click to grow!

hipster hop

If Hip-Hop is dying, this is certainly keeping it in hooked up to life support ...
Seriously? .... seriously ... ?
What confounds me more is not these idiots doing this, but ALL THE PEOPLE SITTING AROUND WATCHING! But I guess when your hip-hop history is confined to "that one song Aerosmith did with those guys in the 80s", "Flava Flav (in reality show format)", and "Will Smith" it's not too surprising this would pass as .. well, passable ...



via look at this fucking hipster

First time for everything

Living in Humboldt Park for 2-3 years now, and for the first time I heard a man die

Reefer

Here, in what could be called the Fort Knox of dope, Mahmoud ElSohly waits patiently as an assistant unlocks the stainless steel door to a climate-controlled vault.

I love it when newspapers try to sound like two guys talking on the corner.

More On Graffiti

"They're defacing our community," Larry Ligas of Logan Square Concerned Citizens said. . . . The park, on Logan Boulevard under the Kennedy Expy., is supposed to be for neighborhood skate boarders but is becoming a magnet for vandalism-prone outsiders, according to Ligas and Pagan.

Holy Crap. People are putting graffiti on our fair skate park. Those BASTARDS!!!

Why don't some of these people worry more about, you know, the gangs in the neighborhood?

UPDATE: I found out who's been doing all this graffiti in Logan Square! Habitat for Humanities my ASS!!!

crappy art, but still ...

I heard about this at a show I played Friday night with The Drastics at Q4... I personally don't care for the mural ... it's not that aesthetically pleasing and seems to want to stir controversy without any cohesive motivation... For me, it looks like a collection of "controversial" images; the same kind of iconography you would see at an anti-IMF rally where half the protesters aren't really sure what the IMF even does ... Of course, this is not addressing the point (but does stroke my elitist art ego) ... the point being that a mural on private property should reserve some rights against removal (barring blatant hate mongering, swearing, etc ... I'm sure Pimpernel could weigh in more on this, he just graduated from Lawyer School!) ... When I worked on North Avenue, the entrance to our gallery was somewhat set in from the rest of the building and therefor allowed easier coverage for taggers, bums and (most recently) idiot frat boys who need to piss all over our door ... Every once in a while I'd come in and see that Daley's Graffiti Blasters had stopped by and removed all the tags from our entrance way .. I don't know if it was that we were a gallery but more "artistically" inclined taggers seemed to frequent our little vestibule ... there was some real cool stuff on those walls.. gone forever ... of course we were just renters and so also had little say in what went on outside our doors ... and since the neighborhood was beginning to gentrify in a very major and immediately recognizable way (ie a Bebe, Marc Jacobson and Intermix all going in on Damen within 2 months) I'm sure the buildings owners were trying to "clean up" and capitalize on jacking rent up as quickly as possible ... Anyway, the point is: censorship=bad ... coulda used the 400 bucks it cost to cover that mural (I'm guessing at the cost ... probably 4 or 5 guys each getting 30-50 bux an hour plus equipment etc etc) and filled some potholes or gotten rid of some ACTUAL graffiti like all the crappy gang tags ...

The Scarlet Pumpernickel

Gotta Stop Taking Oxycotin Before Going on the Air

"[Roberta McCain] is absolutely right" in her assessment that that she belongs to a different Republican Party than he does, Limbaugh said during his radio show: "The Republican Party she belongs to gets shellacked election after election after election." So there are more than one Republican Part? One that wins elections? Oh! It now makes so much sense. Rush is really a backer of the Republican Party of Armenia.

Now it's Picture Time . . . .



Look! It's Rush Limbaugh from the 1970's! Is that really him? Who knows? I say yes! The internet told me! If a picture is worth 1000 words, I'm pretty sure most of those words would be the kid sayin, "Ow, your finger's not supposed to go there." Over and over again. Probably with some sobbing in between. A child is not supposed to be worn like a puppet.

Though the kid does kind of remind me of him . . . .

Terrible

"Look, abortion is not just like any other issue. It's not even like the death penalty. It is intrinsically evil. It would be impossible to find somebody who's a greater champion of abortion rights than Barack Obama. He doesn't belong on the campus getting an award," Donohue [president of the Catholic League]said.

Well thank God the Catholic League cleared that one up. And here I was thinking that whole Ten Commandments, "thou shalt not kill" bullshit was pretty cut and dry. That's right, killing people is not intrinsically evil. Seriously. And who is the asshole who said this bullshit? "It is surely more necessary than ever that the inalienable dignity of human life be universally respected and recognised for its immeasurable value. The Holy See has engaged itself in the pursuit of the abolition of capital punishment and an integral part of the defence of human life at every stage of its development and does so in defiance of any assertion of a culture of death." Apparently the Pope needs to start consulting the Catholic League before he starts spouting off on shit like the sanctity of life. Cause really, if the person is out of the womb, it's not that bad to juice a person up with so much electricity that their dick explodes. Hey Pope, quit being a pussy.

We Got Both Kinds, Country and Western

""I think the fact that Mitt Romney succeeded as much as he did and remains an important and central figure in our Republican Party -- and I wouldn't be surprised to see him run again -- is a testimony, I think, to the inclusiveness of the Republican Party," said McCain, R-Arizona." Yes, the Republican party is very inclusive in taking all wealthy, white, christian men.

hell, this is a dinosaur!

just click the link, and make sure you watch the video

Love is in the Air

The love of nose candy

updates from the drastics blog

Third Thursday Free Mix, Part 2

This month I've profiled Drastic bassman, bassie, bassist Chris ... Definitely more on the heavy and dub side than Bijan's mix ... we open this collection of jams with Chris explaining how to properly drink a bottle of cognac we stole obtained legally after we opened for Mad Prof. After that it's more or less just that gangsta style ... read more/download


Strictly Vinyl Reviews #003
Up for grades this time: The Mighty Sparrow, The Soul Children and Laura Nyro ... read more

[The Drastics]

TEH DOPPELGANGERS!

Either they've cloned him, or NASA finally started inventing useful stuff like teleporters instead of figuring out if plants can grow in ultraviolet light in zero-gravity or whatever the fuck it is they do up in Babylon 5 ... CLICK TO GROW!

Inframan!

"Made in Super 8 by the late Rev. David Boone in 1980, this is one truly SubGenius film!"
INVASION OF THE ALUMINUM PEOPLE!

Things to share ...

Ok, well, it looks less and less likely I will actually chronicle my journed to Alabama a few weeks ago. This has been compounded by my more recent trip to New Mexico to play drums for JT & The Clouds. We did 4 dates opening for Canadian folksters Po' Girl ... like my Alabama trip, I got the call about 18 hours before I was to be on a plane without hearing or rehearsing with the band once! Huzah! Anyway, it went good ... good times. Got to hang out in some natural hot springs about 2 hours away from anything and see the Milky Way like I never saw it before, play to many people who were amped about chill music, lost my hoodie, and ran my entire lower leg against some cactus while running through the desert brush (it's still bright red and bumpy)!

So, in lieu of actually writing anything out, I put my best photos up ...

Phenix City Sound

New Mexican Clouds

And I also uploaded a new Drastics mix-tape ... this month profiling Chris, Drastics bassman ... get that here

bam!

NEWS! NEWS! NEWS!

CNN Headlines, unedited:

Yanks to hide Wang on disabled list?

Bag of poo sent home in kid's backpack (This is seriously the only time I was thinking of buying a t-shirt with a cnn headline on it)

Ha, the url says "poop". CNN called the shit poop! CNN, you are the cause of the decline in journalism. Stay classy Atlanta.

blago clones

I know this story dropped yesterday, but just heard the NPR article interviewing her on "All Things Considered". She comes across just slightly less of a megalomaniac and crazy than our own disgraced politician. You can find the audio online, here's a transcript. My favorite parts are her being confronted with straight-away questions and not just ignoring them, but feigning complete ignorance.

MR. SIEGEL: Yes, but the reports – I don’t know how partial they are, but they are based on people who have seen transcripts of wiretaps. And they’re very detailed. One, The New York Times reports today that in a call, the caller offered to get Haim Saban, a big political donor and a supporter of Israel, to tell Nancy Pelosi that he wouldn’t donate money if you didn’t get the chairmanship of the intelligence committee.

REP. HARMAN: (Chuckles.)

MR. SIEGEL: Any conversation like that, ever?

REP. HARMAN: Well, how do we know?

it's a yes or no question Jane. christ.

BAN IT!!!!!

Vincent Connare designed the ubiquitous, bubbly Comic Sans typeface, but he sympathizes with the world-wide movement to ban it.

yeah. that font has got to go.

Makes me want to connect to the Skokie Public Library Database through the Apple IIE in Ms. Nimz's room

Sure, it's not perfect.....but it's pretty damn cool.

Television Geniuses

So I was sitting at the hookah lounge with a couple of my television executive buddy.

Me: "So what's new in television?"
Exec: "Not a lot. You know what? Smallville's a pretty good show."
Me: "Yeah, you should do another one of those."
Exec: "Sure, but what? I mean it's mammy-rammin' Superman. You can't top that. We kind of blew it by starting off at the top."
Me: "Yeah, but you know what was a good show, too? Baywatch."
Exec: "Yeah, there was some wet titties on that show. Sweet."
Me: "Dood! You should totally do Aquaman!"
Exec: "You think? But really, it's Aquaman. No one likes Aquaman."
Me: "Yeah, you're right. But do you know what makes any movie or tv show kick serious ass? Lou Diamond Phillips."
Exec: "Holy Crap! You're right! Consider it done!

(Yeah, try to find a decent video of that clip. I'm lucky I found one at all. Now quit being a dick about everything.)

time travel

Sadly, I have thought of this more times than I should admit....
Click To Grow!


also, this guy has already been on the Colbert Report so this might be old news but it still looks cool.
Music That Makes You Dumb

FCK RSH

yeah, seriously. rush sucks.

again with the non-content post. here's a DRTHVDR WTF PIC!

From the Front Page of the Trib

After 35 years as one of rock music's most persistent punch lines—the singer sounds like a girl, the songs are long and pedantic, some fans are obsessive, the band is indulgent and Canadian—Rush is suddenly cool. Though in the article they follow this line up with a quote from Chip Caray, so I think it's a little self-defeating.

Now time for some pictures that are absolutely not related to the article:


And don't forget to pay your taxes or teabags and what not:

TRTL GIF WTF!?

and Italian Spiderman

Driving Me to Drink

Personality traits such as perfectionism, overachiever tendencies and a workaholic nature may help high-functioning alcoholics succeed professionally despite their disease

Yeah, I got a rash

(Props to Baron von D for the link)

Burger King

Some people are throwing a shit fit over some Burger King commercials:

I like square butts

and

Really, what's the matter with a midget in a luchador mask?

train chronic

A friend of mine started her own lil blog with observations from the CTA. It is quite hilarious. Choo-Choo Chronicles.



And here's some cool photos of old China.

imagery, strange strange

So while the rest of these slobs have no excuse for not posting, I do. Been in Alabama recording an album with Ralph "Soul" Jackson and it was completely insane. I'll be posting pictures and a chronicle of the experience soon ... right now I am still catching up with work ...

in the meantime ...

Cool pictures of skyscrapers under construction.

this one's for The Pimpernel ... Catholic Girls performing their song "Young Boys", 1980


Dee D. Jackson, "Automatic Lover", 1978


Bank tellers of the 80s perform interpretive dance! oh no wait, its Lipps Inc performing their hit "Funkytown" live ... crap this is a weird one


Who knew institutional genocide could be so sexy!? Orlando Riva Sound, "Indian Reservation", 1979 ... from the same show as above. Think it's a German Disco program.


Whoa! This is cool ... The Spotnicks, "Rocket Man", 1962

I've used footage from this documentary for my own A/V projects as it's killer stuff!


most of these clips via 60s-man. a weird Russian Livejournal blog I stumbled upon. NSFW!

Murder, Porno, and Politics

Phil Spector killed a broad and someone found a dead porn star. Coincidence?

All Hail Senator Franken!

Time for your pictures of Hollywood Office Holders (all Republican, by the way)

Pez

Custom made Pez dispensers of yourself for $300

Graduation present idea, yo

8bit

More free music!
MADHATTER: "8BIT BULLSHIT" ...

this is about 2 years old now, but I stumbled across it last night while searching for 8bit graphics and other old-timey pixelated junk for a project .... Nerdcore at it's finest ... I'm actually impressed with the vocal delivery and most of the beats ... their tribute to Exitebike, "Overheat" is probably my favorite (of the 3 I listened to) .....



these are cool too

Baby Wo Ist Unser Liebe

Taken from a rare album "Motown Around The World", this is in fact the actual Supremes singing "Baby, Where Did Our Love Go?" in German. Though from reading the comments I guess it's less than a superb translation. Probably sung phonetically .... give it a listen, it is in fact strange ... this album also includes Stevie Wonder singing "My Cherie Amour" in Italian and the Four Tops singing "My Girl" in Spanish ...

shamwhat ?

Allllright ... I'm only posting this because up until last night I had never even heard of the Shamwow ... I don't know how I got so lucky. I was at a party last night and since we're generally nerdy, a heated debate on the economy erupted amongst the smokers on the back porch. We were discussing China's recent proposal to adopt a new monetary standard/currency not tied to one country (ie the USA) ... in the midst of this someone joked that the "the Shamwow should be the new standard" ... everyone laughed, but me who asked "Shamwhat?" ... So yes, even the fellow non-TV owners knew of him. Somehow I have been able to completely avoid this ubiquitous TV entity hocking his shlep-wears ... I still don't know exactly what it is ... a fancy towel ? Why is this a thing?

Anyway, the synchronicity seemed too perfect cause for the first time in years I pulled up The Smoking Gun and found this ... ShamWow Guy In Slap, Chop Bust: TV pitchman battered hooker in South Beach hotel room brawl

All I can think is that he shoulda covered his fists in the ShamWows as to avoid leaving a mark. And his name is for real "Vince Shlomi". You go ShamWow Dude!

Bad Cops

Dallas officer delayed NFL player as relative died . . . Police Chief "Kunkle said the video showed that Moats and his wife 'exercised extraordinary patience, restraint in dealing with the behavior of our officer.'"

And the video

Soul!

Patrick linked me with this ....

This entertainment-variety-talk show was not only a vehicle to promote African-American artistry, community and culture, but also a platform for political expression and the fight for social justice. It showcased classic live musical performances from funk, soul, jazz, and world musicians, and had in-depth, extraordinary interviews with political, sports, literary figures and more. It was the first program on WNET to be recorded with the then-new technology of videotape, and most of the shows were recorded in real-time—not live, but unedited.

SOUL!

just a no content kinda day

oh snap!

april 3rd

ghost of a ghost

So I'm upstairs at the vanity last night brushing my hair (100 times on each side) before I get tucked in for the night when this ghost crash lands through the mirror and hits the sink next to mine. He was pretty high but lucid enough to mumble something about "... ancient hidden golden treasure" before he died, tragically, in my arms. After I buried him in the bench to the Hammond Organ, I got to thinking about what that ghost said... but more specifically what he didn't say and even MORE specifically what he transmitted to my brain via Ghostal Clairvoyance (tm). After a half bottle of grain alcohol it came to me.... I remembered earlier that evening while walking through a graveyard I noticed an inappropriately large number of shovels hanging around. Like some asshole had just gone down to the Crafty Beaver and picked up a palette of shovels and just threw them willy-nilly all over the fucking grounds. Acting on a hunch, I surmised my next course of action should be to dig, as I assumed the shovels to be an omen sent by the ghost to me before he died ... Just dig and all shall be revealed. So I went down to REI and picked up a whole bunch of rock-climbing gear (and a couple of raspberry energy bars) and I took the BUS, OK!?!? When I got back home I pulled up the carpet downstairs and started working on the concrete floor. I don't know what took over me but it was like the ghost of that ghost had possessed my arm-hands and next thing I knew it was 3 weeks later and I was standing on a relief of Danica McKellar's head.

But like, for real, this shit was life like down to the freckles and also 18ft long. But this wasn't some Wonder Years shit, no ... it was deeper then that ... this was being channeled from some other dimension ... a dimension run by the evil child-queen-tyrant Patty, the sad-eyed orphan! So I put on my bright red overalls and jumped down the toilet pipe. There I experienced a life changing journey of self realization with Joshua David Saviano as my spirit guide. He kept handing me various items wrapped in pieces of paper with real corny jokes on em... like he gives me this alarm clock with a piece of newspaper around it that reads "Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach, Bach, Bach", then a stalk of celery with some note paper (college ruled ) that says "What is the best way to carve wood? Whittle by Whittle", etc etc ... after about 6 hours of floating and being handed jokes I was like "Look! What am I?? A fucking Bazooka Joe joke tester!?!?" All of a sudden everything went black and it felt like when you got through one of those long water slides at Chimpy's Water Slide Fuck-a-Roo Beach Party Bonanza... When I came out the other end I had a sweet trapper keeper in one hand and a scrap of paper in the other that said "Do You Like Me?" with a "Yes" and "No" box ... signed by Winnie Fucking Cooper.

just when you thought it was over ......

But it's not! Keeping this steam roller of blogging going strong ... hmm ... think I just invented a tongue twister ... The Human Torch Was Denied a Bank Loan ......

aight, so peep these Texan dudes ... Young Problemz and their joint "Fuck Yo Muthafuckin Myspace Page" ... shit pretty sums up how I think (hope) most people feel bout myspace these days ... i'd link to their actual myspace page but it's the kind that makes you gag with 20 embeded videos and a graphic banner up top that's bigger than the rest of the site, etc ... and since it's somewhat NSFW I won't embed ... here's the link! ... most of the shots in that "video" are actually taken from their page ... dudes already got people sending in pics with signs reading "fucc yo mutha fuckin myspace page" ... notice how they don't stop promoting they myspace page throughout the whole video though .....

favorite line .. "Man I tried it and I got that same message. Nigga what kinda mess is a away message? That shit stupid log out if you through. Fuck yo myspace and your facebook too."

yeah.

I wonder how Arnold feels?

Cause Winnie got married.

And by the way, apparently she posed in Stuff Magazine.

start the week off right

Here's an awesome blog I stumbled upon while reading up on Giant Jellyfish ... Pink Tentacle! I couldn't find an about page so don't really know what's up with it, but it's just a Japanese-centric blog of cool and weird stuff. The link above goes straight to all tags labeled "Anamoly" which is where all the good stuff is ... entries include "Monster Mummies of Japan", "Monster octopi with scores of extra tentacles" and "Edo-period UFO" ... good pictures too!

do not test the bollywood fitness

Yeah, Actor ... Bollywood Soulman AKA Kamal Haasam ...

Here's the original clip ... not sure why you'd put a shitty club beat over this awesomeness, but ... people do strange things ...



and here's like a best-of highlight reel of amazing Bollywood clips from the 70s ... this is a promo for Madlib's "Beat Konducta in India" album ... the album's good not great with a couple tracks that are really slammin ... but at least on this clip the overdubbed music isn't a ghey house anthem ... it's muthafuckin Madlib ...

Yo DJ Pump This Party (2)

Whilst looking for a music or video link to go along with the title of my last post - fill yourself in here if need be -- I came across this gem and couldn't help but share.

koala and calarmari

The Pimpernel hipped me to a film so intriguing I had to check it out ... Executive Koala! ... This bizarre Japanese films delivers a heaping handful of "huhs?" and "whats?" as a giant man-sized Koala sets out from his executive-level job at a Pickle distributor to solve the mystery of his murdered girlfriend ... His boss is a giant rabbit and the convenience store clerk is a giant frog ... no one seems to care about either of these facts though ... the movie is truly too bizarre to try and describe without giving away crucial parts ... just know that the trailer here is waaaay more dark than the actual movie which includes Korean martial arts, a musical-esque trial scene, koala/human bondage and REVENGE!



Apparently this director has another movie titled "Calamari Wrestler" I still have yet to see ... looks pretty damn awesome though ...



yeah! posting at 12:30 on a Friday night! rockin it ... rock rockin it ...

Yo DJ Pump This Party

I would listen to the new Bijan mix but......

Jesus is my DJ

Third Thursday, Free Mixes!

In our tireless effort to give YOU the people more of what you want, I'm introducing a new series on the ol' Drastics blog ...

Third Thursday DJ Mix ... Some of you might be aware of the mixes I put together under "The Blends" ... a couple are posted on our myspace page ...

Anyway, I decided to start a collection of reggae mixes each profiling a member of the group here ... We all (obviously) like Jamaican music but we all like certain styles a lil more than others ... This month to kick things off I humbly offer The Bijan Mix.

Read More/Download The Mix

[The Drastics]

wackness permeates ....

So yeah, well ... no one is still posting. this is wack.
Apologies to anyone who still bothers to check this blog ...

The Bluntest contributors all met last night and over beers had many interesting conversations that would translate to very interesting blog posts. However, the likelihood of these topics ever seeing light of day is slim to none.

In the meantime, I stumbled across this crazy photographer ya'll need to peep. Roberto Kusterle ... I couldn't find any one website with a nice collection of work, so instead here's a link to a GIS of his name this is that link.

these are all contemporary ... in the last 20 years or so ... but made to look old ... strange things!

Waste of Time and Money

Watch the Texas-Mexican Border! Prevent immigrants and drugs from coming to America! Be a Hero!

And if you're wondering, the cost of this system is approximately $500,000 per arrest made and $1,000 per pound of reefer confiscated. Money well spent!

Phrozen Peas n Prophylactics!

or
Canned Carrots and Contraceptives!

What's last thing people want in a recession? More kids, apparently. According to data-tracking firm the Nielsen Company, dollar sales of products in the "family planning" category, which includes condoms and over-the-counter female contraceptives, are up 10.2% for the first two months of this year.... Cookie and ice cream cone sales have dropped 9.7%.

What Sells in a Recession: Canned Goods and Condoms [Time Magazine]

A Post!

Kids today think they invented their damn ASCII art and emoticons ...

think again!

Typewriter Art!

here's a contemporary typewriter artist

Wow, seriously ?

A whole freakin' month without a post?
We have become the blog we all hate. No updates, no posts, just deadweight in the blogospheric ether.

Well, I have been blogging, but on the Drastics blog ...

Strictly Vinyl Reviews #002 ... in this installment, Con Funk Shun, David Axelrod and Rockers International!

Hey, someone post here already!

Never trust a mummy with your 9 month old daughter

Let's get this straight for once. If you find a tomb in the back of a cave that happens to be filled with mummies, get the fuck out of there!! For real....that shit is bad news. I used to know this guy and he told me never to let this shit happen right before he died. Like....he was dead before he said that but I could sense it, you know? So anyway, this is some straight up Egyptian Mrs. Doubtfire shit. For real! I was straight up returning phone calls from responses I got from the want ad I put in the reader about needing a nanny. Anyway... more

[The Drastics]

new site!

New Drastics' Site ... LIVE!
And look at that ... We got a BLOG now too! But see, I BUILT that blog. like Jon Henry built the Grand Canyon by dragging Johnny Appleseed though the La Brea Tarpits before sticking him to Pecos Bill and forcing The Jolly Green Giant to ride him across the American southwest while high on PCP. So yeah, expect some cross-action-blog-loving between The Drastics and Bluntest blog. (ie; links to to drastics entries from the bluntest and vice versa)

What's that you say?
Oh yes! There is already CONTENT over there! Huzah!

SO GO READ IT ALREADY, OK!!?!?!

NEW DRASTICS SITE

Vegas Baby

Obama told executives not to spend taxpayers' money on going to Vegas.

New York Times says "Las Vegas: Still a Good Bet" in their travel section because of it's low-cost.

Goldman Sachs cancelled their corporate trip to Vegas and moved it to San Francisco. The cancellation alone cost $600k. There's no details on whether the move saved any money at all or ended up costing more money. My bet is on the latter.

Why Build a Fence?

Scared the illegals are taking American jobs? Well, you shouldn't! Cause there aint no jobs for them to take!



Cannibals!