Catch the Wave

Hey, the eighties were a pretty weird time to be alive, right? What with the kids and their mall hair and their color-changing shirts and their angry hip hop music?

But the decade provide us with at least one thing that was undeniably awesome: Max Headroom



Here in the States, we mostly know Max from coke commercials and a short-lived (but kind of cool) TV series, but he had been a celebrity character in the UK for a few years before as a host to a music channel. But let me be honest, if you have no idea who Max Headroom was, you should probably stop reading now cause its about to get weirder.

On November 22, 1987, during WGN's News At Nine, the station's broadcast signal was interrupted and replaced with an image of a dude in a Max Headroom mask. No audio, just the image. The station switched their studio link and everything was back to normal.



But not for long. Later that night, the PBS channel WTTW was broadcasting an episode of Doctor Who when Headroom gave it another shot. This time the hijack included audio and lasted for about 90 seconds before it was cut off. I would try to describe it but words cannot do justice to the level of weirdness going on here



The man responsible for the hijacking was never caught.

This was the last broadcast television intrusion in American history.

Techmologies, kid

Ok so he does a good job, the tech side of it obviously is not groundbreaking but.......

This man is a VISIONARY.

HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

But no way does Vin Diesel get to be Panthro.

And I bet that guy from Last Crusade that they are using is dead so Ian McKellen as Jaga...

Yes?

Worst CNN Headline

I guess it's not a headline, but it's what the link says that takes you to the article. Why they don't use the headlines as the link, I don't know. Anyway:

Andrew Jackson: Great leader or angry hick?

The best thing is that it doesn't label it as commentary. Thanks CNN!

Delgo

What does it take to make a brazillion dollars in the theaters these days? If we take a page from movies like Shrek, Kung Fu Panda, or the Pixar movies, we can guess that you will be a success if you make a CGI animated kids film featuring an all-star cast of voice actors. But we would be wrong.

I present for your consideration: Delgo

A CGI film released on December 12, 2008, Delgo features the voice talents(?) of Freddie Prinze Jr., Chris Kattan, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anne Bancroft, Val Kilmer, Malcolm McDowell, Michael Clarke Duncan, Louis Gossett Jr., Eric Idle, Burt Reynolds, Kelly Ripa. STAR STUDDED! (Freddie Prinze and Louis Gossett are my second and fourth favorite Jrs after Robert Downey and Cordozar Calvin Broadus)

Wikipedia tells me that this film is the story of "A teenaged boy, Delgo (voice of Freddie Prinze Jr.), of the terrestrial Lokni people on the alien planet Jhamora, and Princess Kyla (voice of Jennifer Love Hewitt), of the winged Nohrin occupiers, fall in love and save both societies from would-be conqueror Sedessa (voice of Anne Bancroft), exiled sister of the Nohrin King Zahn (voice of Louis Gossett, Jr.)." If you don't think that sounds like an instant classic, we probably can't be friends.

But contrary to the popular trend with CGI kiddie movies featuring actors who can't get other work, this film has not been so successful. It was released exactly one week ago and it has broken the record for the WORST movie opening of all time. Opening on 2160 screens, it earned a whopping $511,920 and has already been pulled from theaters.

Now I am sure you are saying to yourself "That is an only mildly interesting story and it is wasting space on my blog!" but there is a happy ending to the story. You see, it features Val Kilmer in the role of a lifetime:









(Thanks to Suzanne for showing me the way of Delgo)

Buddy Charles

He died today. He was all sorts of awesome.

The first time I saw him was with my friend Lisa, who used to go with her dad to watch him in the early 80's at some hip jazz spot I can't remember the name of. She introduced herself in between sets and asked about a song he used to play that was her favorite. He laughed and said "I haven't thought about that song in 25 years". He started playing and after 10 seconds or so he stopped and said he couldn't remember the words. "Oh it's not a big deal, but thank you" she said and he quickly replied "No no, will you come back next week?"

We did and when we walked in, he smiled and kicked into the song with vigor that belied his 80 years, the last few of which it was clear had not treated him well.

I've never been in a room with someone where it was so obvious how everyone there just felt lucky to be seeing him, with knowing glances and smiles between strangers after every verse and song.

He was a true performer as well as being badass player. He could do a sick take on Fascinating Rhythm and put it back to back with a Noel Coward piece done with the comic timing of a classic film star.

Anyway, thanks Buddy, I'm sad I found out about you so late and I wish more people could have seen you in action.

Here's a pic (he still had that sweet mustache)

And a youtube

Libtards

THIS is the reason why liberals are dumb. Obama is having megachurch pundit Rick Warren throw down during his inauguration celebration. This guy is allegedly quasi-liberal (for a preacher) but keep in mind this in a very special spectrum where Jerry Falwell is considered "moderate". Regardless, the guy's a real asshole when it comes to gay rights and abortion rights which are platforms I remember Obama pushing hard. It just kills me. You think Bush's people would have allowed a Pro-Choice speaker at his rally? Ok, maybe that's a little extreme ... but ... uhm ... You think Bush's people would have allowed Margret Cho to speak at his ... mmm, no, no one would want that ... Stephen Colbert .. er ... well, you know ... Plus B-bama is having Aretha Franklin play, but not Stevie Wonder! What the hell guy? You're just gonna use his jam "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" to end every rally for like, ever, and then you won't even let him play?? WHY DOES OBAMA HATE THE BLIND!? And NO, I don't know if Stevie just had a scheduling conflict, and frankly, I DONT CARE. Well, I guess I'll just drink myself into a caffeine-alcohol haze and .. wait, what? Oh, I guess I CANT DO THAT EITHER!

NYEARGH!
and apparently every other blog in the world has covered this. i am slow.

The Best Single Link Post Ever

Hmm......How come this guy never opens for the Drastics......

How come Clark Kent and Superman were never in the same room?

bizarro day

So in a strange twist, Pimpernel yelled at me about my lack of posting. Well, ain't that a kick in the pants. I will admit I have been somewhat of a scofflaw in my posting frequency as of late, but with good reason. Mostly just been busy on other work, as well as some silly shit. So here we go on a short list of things ... cause the world needs LAUGHTER.

First off, we released another-couple-of-new tracks on the ol' Drastics myspace. Check that out here ... The tracks are (collectively) called "Fraudulent Parts 1 & 2" and are probably different then anything you've heard before. Kind of a modern rocksteady with hiphop rhymes on top of it. The second part is some dancehall, but like ... I dunno, if The Roots played dancehall? Cause it's live. So yeah ...

Let's see ... oh, also on the music tip, ex-Drastics guitarist Elliot Ross finally got around to puttin' up some tracks from our hip-hop project. Moongriffin. Phantom Crew of Intelligent Robots (yours truly) is on them beats ... ya heard? Again, you probably never heard some shit like this before ... think outsider artist hears one track by the Beastie Boys and one track by Kool Keith and decides to record some hip hop ... plus we gonna be puttin' some tracks up soon with the Intelligent Robots on the mic ... oh my! If you go listen this shizz start with "3 Dolla Bus Trick" ... that's the hit!

and then ... well, it's been a lot of freelance design work and thing ... the Drastics site is getting a complete overhaul, plus I've completed work on some websites n things. I gave my new buddy JT Nero a hand with his myspace page. He just had his CD release show last Saturday at Schubas (and was a Chicago Reader's Pick) and it was a darn good time. Well except for this wasted girl picking a fight with me and then her boyfriend getting into it. Fuckin a.

oh, and then for those of you who don't know, Drastic Bassman, Chris Merrill, was in a mighty strange accident as we were leaving the Hideout two Thursdays ago. Ol boy fell on some ice and broke his legsicle and tore a ligament. Damn. Chris went under the knife las Friday and is recovering (albeit painfully) from what he tells me. Why is the Drastics cursed?

and finally, here is a bitchin' font i found on my work computer labeled "TcatsHo" which is exactly what you think. A dingbat font of characters from the Thundercats. brilliant.

You Gotta Defend Your Party Hole

Cause there aint no hole like a party hole cause this party hole don't stop

Suicide Tourism

Now [Switzerland's] suicide practices are under the spotlight after British TV last week showed Craig Ewert, a 59-year-old Chicago man with a severe form of motor neuron disease, killing himself in Switzerland two years ago.

Blagojevich

Okey dokey, so it looks like it's my job to post about Blagojevich getting charge. Here we go . . . .

On Tuesday, Blagojevich was arrested by the FBI. He is being charged with: 1) mail and wire fraud conspiracy, and 2) corruptly soliciting and demanding bribes. Though I'm not really sure if there's any non-corrupt way to solicit and demand bribes. (Also, apparently this violates Title 18 of the United States Code, Section 666!)

Apparently the bribes revolved around the Trib selling Wrigley with State assistance in exchange for them firing some people critical of Blago. Since this likely would've involved mail/phones that can cross state lines, the feds get involved. Going back to this document, check out paragraph 13, on page 7. That's a list of all the corrupt things he's being charged with:
a) Taking bribes for state commission appointments, state contracts, etc. The next two items are going to get more attention in the press, cause they involve Obama and the Cubs, but this is the bread and butter. This is what got the FBI's attention in the first place five or so years ago. Most of the complaint involves this shit (through page 43 of 78). Apparently, Blago kicked into overdrive for this because new State Ethic laws, effective January 1, severely limit the amount of campaign contributions an individual can receive.
b) Trib/Wrigley deal. Why he'd try to extort a newspaper that could, you know, report that shit? I don't know. A good line from the complaint, paragraph 73: "During the call [regarding the Trib's editorials], ROD BLAGOJEVICH’s wife can be heard in the
background telling ROD BLAGOJEVICH to tell Deputy Governor A “to hold up that
fucking Cubs shit. . . fuck them.”" Stay classy, Peggy B



c) Selling Obama's empty Senate seat for Secretary of Health and Human Services in the Obama Administration. (Could be an uh-oh for Obama, or at least someone close to him.) Apparently he was also willing to take a job working for a union which a bidder was willing to try to work about for Blago and a union favored by the bidder. (Interesting, hopefully I'll remember to look in to that)


So this shit is getting mad attention in the press, as it should. (2,500 news hits in the first day) So what can I say that hasn't already been said? Let's deal with what should happen to Blago.

Lisa Madigan wants the Supreme Court of Illinois to kick Blago out. I'm not 100% sure on how this'll work and I don't think anyone else is too sure about this one either. I think she was performing her due diligence on how she can help get the jerk out of office.

Here's an article from Slate that covers the rest. Yeah, I'm copping out, but I got finals and it's my lady's birthday today and I got shit to do. More on this later and, most importantly, my thoughts on the Slate article. Pop quiz tomorrow.

in the running for "Best Image on the Internet"

Got this image off a link off the ol' Wonkette (I need to stop biting them) ...
But this image is amazing. It was accompanied with the caption ...

The great flood has ended. The world and indeed all life is possible again! Noah, let's be happy, celebrate and have a party! Laughing

It's some weird game called ZooRace where you get to live out both your Furry fantasy, and your Old Testament Fantasies. Apparently in this version of the Bible, Noah's ark was some kind of floating gay discotheque with kitsch religious iconography on the walls that catered to a specifically Furry crowd.

Check out the gameplay! It looks like Mario Cart 64 without any of the cool characters, or items, or ... fun. Check out about 20 seconds in when all of a sudden there's dinosaurs?! Comon! We all know Michael Chriton invented those in a cabal-style conspiracy led by the Secularist Left!



Noah On The Moon, says it all ...

green eggs

Yeah, but for real. Who wants a century egg?

Operation Humble Kanye

I tried to embed, but I cannot.

Stephen Colbert taking on Kanye. The line about him barely being the voice of his album is pretty funny.

And Kanye's at #2 on iTune's top album list, Colbert is at #4. (Britney Spears is at #1. I love pop music.)

Speaking of pop music, apparently Beyonce has a song "If I were a Boy". I hope that songs concludes that if she was a boy, she would probably be living at home with her parents, probably just got laid off. Cause really, she's only a pretty face (and ass), she's not that good at singing, she can't really dance. Her voice is ok, but not so good that she should be making a brazillian dollars from it.

Because there's an opening for "The Decider"

RNC chair Duncan to decide future this weekend

I hope he decides I do well on finals this semester.

already?

as much as i like the guy ... wtf?
i hope this isn't the change i believed in ...

Obama Abandons Windfall Profits Tax on Oil Companies

penance

Everybody got mad at me when i posted the hilarious bad beatboxer, so instead I will post the ridiculously awesome beatboxer.

HERE IT IS

*driznastic has assumed his role as editor-in-chief and has CENSORED this GODDAMN ANNOYING VIDEO THAT AUTO-LOADS EVERYTIME I OPEN THIS PAGE!!!! thanks!

sweet beatboxing skillz

Check out this guy's voice effects. I don't know how to explain that but it's fun for myself and you just have to hear.

Mashed Potatoes

So got an email from my mom to all the kids in the family asking what we're all bringing for Thanksgiving. I replied "Mashed potatoes" with this attached.

I know, nothing new. We've all seen it even before everything you've ever wanted to see, and more, has been put on youtube. Remember when if you wanted to see that clip you had to watch it Saturday night on Cartoon Planet? Good times. Working for entertainment. Not like kids these days.

Anyway, I was on the youtube and found a recipe for ghetto potatoes and yak-yak.

Fo' shizzle, Nephew.

That's What The Tailor Said

So I was protesting out in front of the Banana Republic at Old Orchard mall and then Surjeet called me and said "dude you left your Modern Action Club card at the Kite's house, but don't worry I picked it up for you, I'll meet you at Bumpkin's...or do you wanna just grab some nachos when we get to the Skatium?".

Annd Scene

Flash forward 11 years to the present day and THIS VIDEO

First off - that's def the fireside right? The crowd shots certainly are.
Who cares? Me, that's who - any opportunity to find decade-old goofy-ska-dancing footage of someone we know is precious and should not be squandered.
So get to freeze framing some grainy youtube people, this is for the common good.


Second - Joan Axthelm....sweet sweet Joan Axthelm...She's the backup singer on the left. I would have burned my bomber jacket for her. Couldn't find anything current but want to know her phone number and exactly where she was on Dec. 3rd, 2000? Me too.

And...now that the previous link has breached the subject...

Wasn't that guy's name Barack and didn't he LOVE the Socialisms ?
I knew FOX was right.

Yes, I know this contains nary more than a youtube video and is relevant to only a handful of people and someone here won't like that.
But I know that Driz also happens to spin those old tunes on occasion, so maybe I'll get a pass.

look at this guy!

Drastics' singer/frontman/life-coach MC ZULU was the feature in this weeks Sharp Darts in the Chicago Reader ...

hah!

Typealyzer

via wonkette ...

Some web device that analyzes what kind of person or people write a blog. I have no idea what the criteria is or what they actually look at while "Typealyzing" a blog.
So naturally I tossed the ol' Bluntest into the wood chipper to see what would come out ...

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

The enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.

A brain chart analysis (swear to god) of Bluntest contributors shows predominance in the "Sensing" section of the brain while writing. And while there was spillover into the "Practical" and "Feeler" areas, the "Thinking" area of the brain was untouched. Huzah! Naturally I'm writing this while baking cookies and wearing silk pajamas within an egg shaped pod painted neon green.

Typealyzer

the final showdown

ol girl sent me yesterday ...

Mr. Bacon vs Monsieur Tofu

best gif ever

I can't remember if i have posted this before, but i just saw it again and its basically the best picture on the internet



Also, if you're bored, there's this

Hard Ass Old People

Because this is how shit goes down in Actor's hood:

But in the meantime I'm going to think about kicking up my workout intensity a bit so I can come back next year and kick some senior ass.

Better than a cripple fight

Cause this never gets old. At first I thought my connection was slow and making the video choppy. Nope, just some slow ass old people.

Apparenly standing on your finger is the pride of Chinese culture. If the Chinese ever get youtube, their idea of entertainment will expand exponentially.

More than half a century later, having achieved geriatric gangster status, amassing several million dollars from his nude- and topless-dancing operations, and with his wife of 36 years bailing out on him, Frank grabbed this other girl, 18, fondling and then offering her $500 to go to bed with him. Not a good move for an old con on parole. Damn, when I'm near 100 I want to be known as the Stripper King.

Burritos By Number

I think I posted awhile ago about fivethirtyeight.com, a website monitoring the election and breaking down polls and what-not by using ridiculous math to give the chances of how things might've turned out? Well, the guy who runs that site, Nate Silver, is a Chicagoan from Wicker Park who also rates local taquerias! Is there anything this cat can't do?

Intergalactic Evanston Internet Shout Out!

So now that the election is over, wonkette is having some rough times finding things to post. So they are reduced to posting shit from the Skokie Review (5th one-liner) about an old lady in Evanston who kept dead bodies in her house for a couple decades. The good people at the Skokie Review probably had a good time this morning trying to figure out why there were so many hits to their website. And apparently none of the commenters, except one, like Evanston.

By the way, didn't Actor used to live pretty close to there?

Ol' Pussy Teeth

Vagina dentata is Latin for toothed vagina. Various cultures have folk tales about women with toothed vaginas, frequently told as cautionary tales warning of the dangers of sex with strange women.

The best cautionary tale of "not letting your dick get bit off and your body fed to tigers" I've read yet!

In case the President cannot fulfill his duties

just a weird picture

Witty commentary evades me as I have no idea what to even make of this ...

Patterns

"Weird" Al Yankovic on Square One TV



thanks to suzanne

oh guilty pleasures ....

Back on the video tip.

Yeah. Not guilty pleasures because of any preconceived notion of what kind of music someone like me should like. No, mostly cause these songs epitomize the uber-slick image that record companies push on people with less constitution and greater impressionability. Plus the misogyny is pretty out of control on all of these, even the one sung by a chick. That being said, shit, I love these jams ... Can't embed cause their parent companies won't allow it ...

JiggaMan don't dig 99% of this guy's stuff but this is the JiggaJam. Like how i did that?

I remember waiting for this to come on the radio back in the day when I had a car with a tape player that didn't work. Circa 2001? I think that's about when this tune came out. Produced by Dre, so it's hard to argue. Video is so contrived though. Can we put a moratorium on videos that follow the "Rich people having party. Urban/poor/different people feel slighted. Urban/poor/different people invade party. Everyone has good time except for one stuckup person after realizing that urban/poor/different people have the BEST parties, The End."

Ha. Yeah, a great example of what "Real Southern Girls" look like. And not exploitative at all. Glad Pharrell got rid of that mustache though. Oh yeah, and in case you forgot, Mystikal is in jail for 6 years for makin' his hair stylist give him a BJ. A true lover of women. Still like that beat though.

A Post By the Baron

Smoking pot will ruin your life, or won't

And you can smoke pot in Michigan, if you need it to live a life that the smoking pot will ruin

amazing

We are all feeling pretty good about this election, because for the first time in a long time, the intelligent people won out over the fools.

But never underestimate the power of stupid.

Bong-bing-bong

So I was reading this article entitled "Bong-bing-booong". I think I was mislead about the subject matter of the actual article by the headline. So on to related items:

Next time you're at the Grateful Dead SATs, drop the word hubble bubble which is the sound that a water pipe makes. It also refers to the water pipe itself. Which is some slang we should be busting out.

Unsafe sex.

Safe sex.

Sound advice.

Wolf Blitzer, you're my only hope

You're a little short for a storm trooper (NSFW)

Zorses

LOLbama

A Celebration!

So Obama won. Election over. Time to get back to what we do best. LOLcats:

rockstar style!

Alot more amazing photos here (80+)

papa's got a brand new bag

ol girl made ...
Vegan Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Obamacakes with Cream Cheese Frosting!

so east coast elite.
i'm happy to say they was all gone by the end of the night.
Pimpernel and I watched the electoral version of a slam-dunk on a grainy little 13" TV perched atop a picture booth at a real old school Chicago bar called Wee Gees. Good Times! There was many people and shuffle board! Huzzah!

This Fucking Election

All on one page

i think we know who we're talking about here

This was on Wonkette yesterday, but I only had a chance to watch it with sound today ... and it's so insane it requires re-broadcast here ... This guy (McCain spokesman Mike Goldfarb) is seriously at the end of his rope, making accusations of Obama with no backup ... the whole time with a very George W Bush-ish smirk on his face ...

brilliant.

fox news elects john mccain!

reeeeeaaaallllllly? fox news polls find mccain making a comeback? no! really?
come on EVERY OTHER MEDIA OUTLET, get with it!

more music

so here's another mix that got used on "Echo Beach", Chicago's only dub reggae show (WLUW 88.7fm) ... mixed together by yer's truly, this one is entitled "Cool Down the Pace" ... I did this mix shortly after my accident sort of as a way to prove to myself that I wasn't an invalid and partly because it was so damn HOT ... the alternate title to this mix was "City Too Hot: The Cast Mixtape" ... cause, ya know, those dudes hustling mixtapes off the subway are always titling their shit way epically like that ... ya heard !? So yeah, this one is 99% dubwise ... enjoy!



here's your tracklist

16.1. Brad Osborne - King of Zion Dub
16.2. Roots Radics - Tubby's Daddy Dub
16.3. The Upsetters - Grumbling Dub
16.4. Little Roy - Tribal War Version
16.5. Super 8 Corporation - 23rd Version
16.6. Junior Moore - Love Me Little Girl
16.7. The Crystalites - Lippy
16.8. Linval Thompson - Jah Peoples Dub
16.9. Scientist - Wa Di Is Free
16.10. Junior Reid - Human Nature Version
16.11. Culture - Jah Jah See Them A Come Version
16.12. The Revolutionaries - Shango
16.13. Prince Douglas Sunshine Dub
16.14. Tommy McCook - Roots of Africa
16.15. Horace Andy - Prophesy
16.16. The Tamlins - Lovelight Crucial Version
16.17. King Tubby - Killa Dub
16.18. The Heptones & Lee Perry Allstars - Serious Time Version
16.19. The Drastics w/ Ralph "Soul" Jackson – Dub Me Back

well that's a scary thought

Win or Lose, Many See Palin as Future of Party

Ivor Cutler

Lemme pile on some more youtube clips:

Harmonium
Happy
Gimme some more

Ivor Cutler, we hardly knew ye

fun with wording

So by now we all know that crazy McCain campaigner wasn't really attacked by OJ Simpson wielding a knife and carving fertility symbols into any and all McCain supporter's cheeks ... or whatever it was she claimed ... but this is just the kind of story that headline bias is quite susceptible to. And since most American's get their news in headline format ONLY, I think this is kind of an important phenomenon to investigate. So let's take a look at the way different media outlets covered this story ...

The Dallas Morning News
One Texan's tall tale debunked: McCain volunteer admits making up attack story

I tried to find information on any bias this paper might have, but came up with nothing. This is still interesting though. Calling this story a "tall tale" doesn't exactly give it the weight that I believe it deserves. "Tall tale" brings up images of Paul Bunyan and Joe Henry, not crazy bitches lying about having their faces carved by eccentric Obama supporters as a political ploy to discredit Obama.

FOXNews.com
McCain Campaign Volunteer Admits Alleged Attack Was a Hoax

This one's a lil' more clever. By putting the word "alleged" into the title it sort of twists the whole thing into a whole "yeah, well, we didn't think it was real either." Obviously not typical FOX News behavior, but it does follow suit with their Executive VP's quote that "If the incident turns out to be a hoax, Senator McCain’s quest for the presidency is over, forever linked to race-baiting." Is FOX News getting their ducks in-a-line in anticipation of an Obama victory?

USA Today
Reports: McCain volunteer lied about partisan-fueled attack

Yeeup. USA Today, arguably the worst national newspaper tells it rather straight. For a newspaper that's 90% headlines, this really shouldn't be that surprising.

CBS Texas
McCain Volunteer Changes Story About Attack

Yeah, no real commentary on that. Vague and ambiguous. Did she change it to say that she made it up, or possibly that the black man who attacked her was the sheik of all muslimhood BARACK OBAMA!?

Blacknews
Desperate McCain Supporter Faked Black Attack

Ha! You tell 'em Blacknews.

that's enough right?

jit v juke

Speakin of "Real Talk", I picked up a postcard in a record shop the other day advertising the Juke Remix of "Real Talk" ... YouTube and Google searches yielded no results unfortunately. So instead, here's a video of Jit Vs Juke. Detroit Vs Chicago. It's all in the footwork fool!



our blog is nothing but a youtube gallery. boo hiss.

But why stop now? I can't believe I didn't include this in my early 90's hip hop cavalcade. This one's for Pimpernel cause I know how much likes this song. On a side note, I never associated this song with 50s diners and black Marilyn Monroes ... until now ...



and one more ... not only is this Color Me Badd performing "I Wanna Sex You Up", it is Color Me Badd performing "I Wanna Sex You Up" live on Soul Train ... with Japanese subtitles ... this one's for Bogardus cause I know how much he likes Sam Watters ...

Batman Obama

John McCain learned his debate style from The Penguin



And just in case you still don't totally buy the McCain = Penguin conceit, check it

More Fun with CNN

Actual headline: Roses red/Violets blue/I have STD/So do you

It's a public health article that looks a lot like an advertisement for e-card websites that allow you to tell your intimate friend(s) that you got shot by Cupid's arrow and now there's an open sore and that they too might want to get checked out.

(I'd link to their website, but I'm at work. I'd rather get in trouble for blogging than going to an STD website.)

I really hope they use this as an e-card:

Halloween preparations

I just finished carving my pumpkin

and i've got my costume

plus the house is all decorated

Now I just have to hope that Sofie's Halloween party is as sexy as last year's

joe esposito and bisque

So yesterday I got home from working all weekend and was feeling under the weather. Naturally, I made up some tomato/basil bisque and listened to the Karate Kid soundtrack to help me feel better. S'when I started wondering if these songs had videos ... so I got on the Youtubes and found these guys ... clearly shot in a dorm, probably over a winter break or something, this is actually really well done ...

and on a side note, I now listen to this song everyday before going to work ... try it, it works wonders ...

Bluntestburgh Update

Yo! We're in the top 600 cities in Iceland! We got peoples. We got jobs. But we need transportation. So clicky clicky. And now some topical transportation pictures to please your eyeballs.

Obama can tell the future

also, in honor of driznastic's old skool hip hop flava

more of the same

So my boy Elliot was tellin me he was up in this joke ass napspot tryin to catch his daily "z"s but them busta's up in there was jus bumpin mad ABC jamz from the early 90s so I had to look thems up cause it's been a straight minute since I peeped 'em.

check out these videos ...
Iesha
Playground

First off, they both use the hook from BBD's Poison (what's up with the intro to THAT video). Which makes sense seeing as Michael "Biv" Bivins of Bel Biv Devoe was the producer. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like that hook, but ... gonna use it three times??

Second off ... god DAMN those kids are young. I don't remember that, but that's probably cause i was 11 years old when them tunes dropped.

Thirdly, they using the same footage in both videos! Comon now ... have some self respect!

anyway, more of yer old school hip hop ...

Heavy D and the Boyz: Mr. Big Stuff
EPMD: You Gotz to Chill
Ultramagnetic MCs: Traveling at the Speed of Thought (provin kool keith has always been nuts)

not old school but a tight video ... at least watch till 1:30 ...
Hiero: Don't Hate the Playa

and cause kool keith is so brilliantly out of his goddamn mind
Dr. Octagon: Aliens

lookin' boy

Been meaning to post this for a while, but kept forgetting. It's pretty old now, but figure Bluntest viewers (if there's any left) weren't the type to be searchin' this shit out ... video is well worth watchin ...

yeah, it's just the dozens, and yeah, they from chicago ... what whaaaaa?

felix

before there was Garfield-Without-Garfield ...
before there was Heathcliff ...
before there was, well, plain Garfield ...
and before there was Top Cat ...

there was Felix.

yes, opiumed-out Felix the Cat ... enjoy stills of some of his early cartoons complete with well funny commentary ...

back to our regularly scheduled program

on a 90s hip hop kick yesterday

How Long You Had That Problem????
if you lookin for mad tucked-in Lakers shirts and chicks rockin' biker spandex shorts, that's yer jam
here's yer sample

Where the rhythm is the bass and the bass is the treble.
I remember watching this video in middle school but I didn't remember how bored Nate Dogg looked. seriously dude, can I buy you an expression? also interesting to hear how many more words were censored. (gat, hos)
here's yer sample ... seriously, that is a stone jam. plus the chick at the end is pretty amazing.

Went to Short Dawg's house. They was watchin' Yo! Mtv Raps.
Yeah, I usually don't get down with the straight up gangsta stuff, but this is a cold cut.
here's yer sample ... that opening break has been used by about every producer in history

Life as a shorty shouldn't be so rough
Some deep shit in this song ... yeah it's gangsta, but it's also anti-gangsta. Spyder from Deals Gone Bad used to bump this shit in the Drastics van on tours.
here's yer sample

MiggidyMiggidyMack
Wow, I don't remember this song being so INTENSE ... jeesus.
here's yer sample ... again, it's easy to make a "hit" when you sampleone of the best songs ever.

BAD PUN ALERT

I gave Sarah Palin a pearl necklace! (Yowza!)

No Gas in Atlanta

In case you haven't been watching the news, there's no gasoline in Atlanta. But really, at least they can still ride their bikes.

Fight the Power

Best YouTube Ever

It's an ad for the new Wario game on the Wii, but I did not expect this

Check it out

Blind Injustice

Jeanette Sliwinski, convicted of killing three local musicians in a suicide attempt car crash, will be released from prison next week three years after receiving an eight-year sentence. Judge Howard said, "I believe the defendant was being truthful when she said she only intended to hurt herself and not anyone else."

Meanwhile a dood gets 7 years for killing one person in a DUI.

What's the difference? Besides they guy killed only 1 compared to her 3? Perhaps it's cause she worked as a "trade-show model" (as the Tribune says) or as a stripper as the Sun Times reported.

Either way, it's a questionable decision by Judge Garritt Howard to let her out and he isn't up for re-election until 2012. We can only wait.

Baby Beat Box

(via this is the glamorous via Current)

CNN Hates (Loves?) Abe Vigoda

The #4 most popular article on cnn.com this morning is: Abe Vigoda is Still Alive. I can't tell if it's a "Let's Celebrate Vigoda Living!" article or a "Damn, can you believe he's still alive?" article.

That being said, the article is more popular than news of a dead german zookeeper and a dead cat. It's not as popular as 9 dead Finnish kids.

Oh yeah, I think I also heard something about how the government is going to dump a bunch of cash into our economy and cause inflation to skyrocket, but I, like most CNN readers, were more concerned with Abe Vigoda still being alive.

Best Picture Ever

From CNN: "A doctor told the author to visualize her husband's face on a cartoon sperm, with arms welcoming her egg." Gross.

A Question of Loyalty

Aides to Governor Palin have been issued subpoenas regarding alleged abuse of power by the Governor. "As state employees, our clients have taken an oath to uphold the Alaska Constitution . . . . However, our clients are also loyal employees subject to the supervision of the governor . . . . On behalf of our clients, we respectfully ask that you withdraw the subpoenas directed to our clients and thereby relieve them from the circumstance of having to choose where their loyalties lie."

That's not clever editing, that's what was stated. The lawyers don't want to make their clients to choose between the CONSTITUTION (albeit the Alaskan Constitution) and the Governor. I wonder how this is going to play out. Just kidding, the Department of Justice won't be around long enough for that!

I like your style, Palin!

Robot Arms: An Opera

The opera is for a later day, but I've already decided a name: "Tanz in Meinen Roboterarmen"



Armed Robot Arms!

If Driznastic was a monkey (I think this was already posted, but it's worth a second post)

Robot Arms Race

OVER THE LINE! MARK IT ZERO! I just hope he's a pacifist, like Smokey. I fear in the future his robotic bretheren will not be consciencious objectors.

robot arm

this is what my arm looks like ...

Double Standard

Remember that whole Reverend Wright fiasco with Obama? Looks like Palin has crazy church shit of her own:

"Palin now attends the Wasilla Bible Church. She was there on August 17, just days before entering the national spotlight. David Brickner, the founder of Jews for Jesus, was a speaker. He told congregants that terrorist attacks on Israel were God's "judgment" of Jews who haven't embraced Christianity. Brickner said, "Judgment is very real and we see it played out on the pages of the newspapers and on the television. When a Palestinian from East Jerusalem took a bulldozer and went plowing through a score of cars, killing numbers of people. Judgment -- you can't miss it.""

Yeah, that's what the dood said. Read it again, it's not going to change. Apparently Hamas terrorists are really agents of God. Or something like that. There's more:

"Pastor Ed Kalnin, the senior pastor of Palin's former Pentecostal church, has also come under fire for his comments. In 2004, he told church members if they voted for John Kerry for president, they wouldn't get into heaven. He told them, "I question your salvation.""

Not as bad as the whole "Jews are going to be killed by God" thing, but still pretty bad. Especially considering they ought to lose their tax-exempt status for that shit. But I know what you're thinking, "But like Obama, can't she just say she doesn't agree with her priest?" So let's see what she says herself:

"Her campaign says she doesn't mix her faith with government business. But Palin did ask her audience to pray for $30 billion natural gas pipeline she is on a mission to build in Alaska. In the video Palin says, "I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas pipeline built. So pray for that ... I can do my job there in developing my natural resources. But all of that doesn't do any good if the people of Alaska's heart is not good with God.""

And:

Speaking of the troops in Iraq, Palin says on the video, ""Pray for our military men and women who are striving do to what is right. Also for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending them out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for -- that there is a plan, and that plan is God's plan.""

So God wants a natural gas pipeline and a war in Iraq. So she's mixing politics and religion, we've seen 8 years of that already. But I don't know about this kind of religion, not to judge or anything, but we are talking about possibly being "Leader of the Free World" and having nukes and shit:

"Palin's former pastor, Tim McGraw, says that like many Pentecostal churches, some members speak in tongues, although he says he's never seen Palin do so. Church member Caroline Spangler told CNN, "When the spirit comes on you, you utter things that nobody else can understand ... only God can understand what is coming out of our mouths." Some Pentecostals from Assembly of God also believe in "faith healing" and the "end times" -- a violent upheaval that they believe will deliver Jesus Christ's second coming."

Ooh. So this "end times" is a violent upheaval. And then Jesus comes. Who doesn't want to meet Jesus? Not Sarah Palin, I bet. With all those nuclear weapons at her (possible) disposal, I bet she can bring the "end times" pretty quick, right?

Sausage Slap!

"The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage."

I'm glad that made the CNN headlines. Go Bears!

Glorious Return

Hey everybody, sorry I've been MIA for a while, but I've been working on my new music video

4 awesome videos

this one's a joke


this one's not ... still ... i think kanye is more of an embarrassment to chicago


i know what you're thinking ... I'd love to lose 3 minutes of my life watching an out of tune barbershop quartet dressed like Hall and Oates frolic in Central Park with two kids and a really gay Jor-el...


Wendy's is FRESH! ... I'm not gonna lie, I would work anywhere that trained me like this.

Politics

Sorry I've been away for awhile, but classes have started again. So on to the postings:

McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Palin as his running mate. $5 says that if Obama had chosen Hillary as a running mate, Palin would still be watching icebergs and running Eskimo pie bake sales or whatever they do in Alaska. Though she is kind of cute, in a Tina Fey kind of way. Or at least cuter than Biden. Either way, if the McCain camp keeps running "Obama is not experienced enough" lines, having a first term governor of one of the smallest populated states in the union isn't really going to help. More on Palin later tonight. Stay tuned!

Oh yeah, Obama gtave a speech last night that was pretty good.

pink ties

Well, august 2008 will probably go down as the slowest bluntest month to date (see, you might think that we all have broken arms [except pimpernel] but really, its just me. your other contributors have fully functioning extremities, and are just lazy as dirt.) I have been spending a whole lotta time on the 'ol 'puter, but its been on this page, the NY Craft Beer Week site I designed. It's up and running, and quite impressive, if I may say so. Not just the design/functionality, but the event itself is huge. Literally crap-loads of beers, breweries, and bars participating. Any NY readers should definitely consider going. Everything takes me 3x-5x times longer then it should which is why I've only been working on that.

anyway, here's some stuff to gander at.

ignore the authors captions, they're not funny. the images are though.
check out this weird academic-ish article about reggae. cause the drastics is in it. huh?
so livejournal has a really shitty rip off of blogger's "post secret". it's called "secretpost". how original. anyway, i found this and it made me hate angst more than ever. grow up kid.
Detroit is an interesting town ... must watch until 3min mark


aight, i'll try to get back on this.

Sexlympics

We've flattened their fingers, we've branded their buns, Nothing is working: SEND IN THE NUNS! (If you don't get it, click here)

Yowza!

Ping Pong Sluts (TM Drisnastic):“We are trying to push the players to use skirts and also nicer shirts, not the shirts that are made for men, but ones with more curves,” International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) vice president Claude Bergeret said.

Fishburne is joining the cast of CSI

Fishburne, 47, received an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Ike Turner in 1993's "What's Love Got to Do With It" and a Tony in 1992 for "Two Trains Running." He was a Tony nominee this year for the one-man show, "Thurgood," about Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall. His film credits include the "Matrix" sci-fi films, in which he played Morpheus; "Apocalypse Now"; "The Color Purple"; "Mystic River"; "21"; "Akeelah and the Bee"; and "Biker Boyz." (I bet he wishes they didn't mention "Biker Boyz", but then again, maybe that appeals to the CSI crowd's appreciation for bad acting.)

Fun with CNN

CNN is really raising the bar for journalism: Amateur journalism on an LA burlesque house and theater. (NSFW in case you couldn't tell by the word "burlesque") Here's a good quote: "It's not about nudity, it's about story telling" . . . and I get my subscription to "Juggs" for the articles. And, no real surprise here, the burlesque show pays for the actual theater portion. One last thing on this theater: they have a children's theater school. If only I had teachers when I was young whom I could look up on the internet and see dancing around in corsets.

As for the actual reporting, CNN apparently is now allowing amateur commercials to be shown on their website. I think the requirement is the commercial must include sex, animals, or children wearing or doing something comical.

Now for Other Articles:

"Mayor John Molony found himself under attack Monday over comments he made to a local newspaper that read: "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa."" Cause a big fat woman will keep you warm at home

The lagging economy has stopped teenage girls from dressing like whores . . . DAMN YOU REPUBLICANS!!!

Chinese Bible laws are very much like US drug laws: "Under Chinese law, it is illegal to bring printed religious material into the country if it exceeds the amount for personal use." Gideon would be SOOO busted.

The Biggest BM to Fly Over Chicago

Not that kind of BM! The funny kind! Ok, poop is funny, but I'm talking about Bill Murray! And now a highlight of the pictures:

An Actor from Pineapple Express Got Arrested For Drugs

Who'd've thunk it?

Prosecutors have filed felony drug charges against Craig Phillip Robinson, an actor best known for his role as Darryl Philbin on NBC's "The Office."

I'm Gonna Sell This For Drugs!

I Don't Think "It's the Sauce" Anymore

Hecky’s of Chicago, at 1234 N. Halsted St., was shut down Wednesday afternoon when city health inspectors discovered evidence of a cockroach infestation

Hopefully When the Dust Settles, Georgia Will Have a New Name

“George Bush's Administration is promoting interests of candidate John McCain,” said Dr Markov [political scientist advisor to Putin]. “Defeated by Barak Obama on all fronts, McCain has one last card to play yet - the creation of a virtual Cold War with Russia . . . Bush himself did not want a war in South Ossetia but his Republican Party did not leave him any choice.” The Americans were now engineering an armed conflict between Ukraine and Russia, Dr Markov added. (As seen on wonkette.com)

Georgia (the European one, of course) needs a new name. Cause it's way to confusing, especially with this CNN headline: Georgians: We have Bigfoot carcass in freezer

I hate pilfering stuff from other blogs, but that seemed like a fairly important news article.

Bush is Getting Ideas

Someone should tell the journalists in Georgia (Europe, not US) that there's a cease-fire because the journalists are still finding ways to get themselves shot. Seriously, how can you have a cease-fire if people insist on getting shot? (By the way, there's blood in this video. Not a lot, but just a heads up.)

*** UPDATE: Here's another video of journalists getting shot at in Georgia. Different incident. Note at the end, the camera man is trying to get a shot of a soldier's face. Instead he gets the butt of his gun.

Alan Colmes Grows Some Huevos

Sean Hannity was probably thinking, "Who let this guy on the show? Oh, is this the guy who's name comes after mine in the title? Isn't he supposed to be doped up on morphine so he can't cause any problems?"

(This link was first brought to my attention by wonkette.com and created by News Hounds)

i'm still alive

damn pimperenel. thanks for owning the bluntest in my absence . i can type, albeit very slowly (with one finger) so excuse my lack of posting. yeah, so the doc said no surgery cause apparently my left elbow is shattered to such small pieces that it's not an option. awesome, when he told me that i literally had to lie down as it was like getting hit with a ton of bricks. there's not enough bone to drill into. if he was going to, he would have to break my other arm bone AND drill into cartilage. obviously, not doin' that. so the bones is staying where they is and we hope for the best. apparently my cast was set pretty good (at cook county, no less) and my bones are lined up really well. the bad news is that even after therapy, i might not get 100% use of my left arm back. that is in terms of reflexivity and degree of wrist turning. needless to say, i'm pretty bummed these days. i don't think i'll have bob-dole-arm, but it's still a drag. aye.

yesterday was bad. barely got out of bed. today is better, got up relatively early and have been working on the computer since noon. last night also recorded some drastic horns on the 6 cuts we (luckily) got done before the accident, so i'm feeling good about that.

oh, and that comment from ritch on my last post isn't a joke. the broken bone count for the drastics is now: drummer with 2 broke arms, and a guitarist with a broke shoulder. this is fucking unbelievable.

Bluntestburgh Update

Yo, the fair denizens of Bluntestburgh need your help! They're leaving the city cause they got no jobs! There are lines around the corner for people waiting to get their government rationed Champale!

Why Won't She Just Go Away?

But the buzz is that Clinton may take it a step further and have her name formally placed before the convention, complete with nominating speeches, seconding speeches and all the hoopla they produce."


(Picture created by the loving plaster encased hands of Driznastic in exchange for 3 PBR and a half a pack of Newports . . . delicious)

Gross

You get what you deserve for eating at BK. The beautiful part of this video is the ineptness of whomever is in charge of blurring out people's faces.

The Chinese Are Crazy

Not the Chinese people, but the Chinese government. Here's some nuggets from the Olympics that also illustrate some of the reasons why I'm against them being held in China:

Lin was lip-syncing to the sound of another girl, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who was heard but not seen, apparently because she was deemed not cute enough.

Cute, but can't sing
Ugly, but can sing

And then there's the whole anti-religion thing: Those Christians who want to avoid the state-controlled religious movements meet in unofficial buildings or even each others' homes - hence their description as "house churches" - risking fines, imprisonment, torture and even, in some cases, death.

And you can't forget the creepy treatment of Houston Rocket, Chinese-born Yao Ming: The Chinese government had monitored his birth because of the perfect physical and athletic genes of his parents, forever treating him as something of a science project.

There's plenty of other reasons, some noted before, and others that haven't been noted on this, the greatest of blogs.

*** UPDATE: I totally got the jump on Wonkette for this post by over an hour. Up yours professional bloggers!

Who is That Masked Douchebag?

So after reading about the new wildlife regulations that are to be published by the Department of Interior and Secretary Dirk Kempthorne (what a douche name), I got to asking myself, "Who is Secretary Douchebag?" So I did some digging. Ok, I checked out wikipedia. I'll highlight the important parts for you who don't like to click:

- He's from Idaho
- He hates the environment
- He was executive vice president of the Idaho Builders Association, not really a pro-environment group
- He holds the record for his position as Secretary for being the least active in putting species on the endangered list
- Early in his career, he was state public affairs officer for FMC, otherwise known as Food Machines and Chemicals. Sounds environmental to me.
- During his tenure at FMC, the corporation was rocked by the Ivan Boesky insider trading scandal. Coincidence? I think not!
- The guy who succeeded Kempthorne's senate seat was named Crapo. Apparently Idahoans only vote for people with funny/douchebag names.
- And apparently Dirk was such a douchebag Idaho had to change it's laws in order to stop him from taking corporate money while he was Governor. The law is called the "Bribery and Corrupt Influences Act".
- He's a douchebag

I don't get it

The Interior Secretary is issuing new regulations, which carry the weight of law as long as they do not conflict with actual congressionally passed legislation, altering the requirement that federal agencies must assess the amount and effect of greenhouse emissions for construction projects.

The draft rules would bar federal agencies from assessing the emissions from projects that contribute to global warming and its effect on species and habitats . . . . [Interior Secretary Kempthorne said] "It is important to use our time and resources to protect the most vulnerable species. It is not possible to draw a link between greenhouse gas emissions and distant observations of impacts on species."

What you don't know can't hurt you, right? So we better know as little as possible. Nay, we MUST know as little as possible. Or the terrorist polar bears win.

Singh is the King

Yo, what up. This Big Snoop Dogg. Represent the Punjabi. Aye ya, hit em with this

Sorry, it's been a pretty rough week. Not "hit by a semi" rough, but pretty close.

Cancer got you down?

if and when you get cancer, shrooms are free! Too bad you don't get anything if you get hit by a truck.

(From Baron von D)

Nergasm

O! M! G! Like playing naked Dungeons and Dragons with Madonna.