4 awesome videos

this one's a joke


this one's not ... still ... i think kanye is more of an embarrassment to chicago


i know what you're thinking ... I'd love to lose 3 minutes of my life watching an out of tune barbershop quartet dressed like Hall and Oates frolic in Central Park with two kids and a really gay Jor-el...


Wendy's is FRESH! ... I'm not gonna lie, I would work anywhere that trained me like this.

Politics

Sorry I've been away for awhile, but classes have started again. So on to the postings:

McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Palin as his running mate. $5 says that if Obama had chosen Hillary as a running mate, Palin would still be watching icebergs and running Eskimo pie bake sales or whatever they do in Alaska. Though she is kind of cute, in a Tina Fey kind of way. Or at least cuter than Biden. Either way, if the McCain camp keeps running "Obama is not experienced enough" lines, having a first term governor of one of the smallest populated states in the union isn't really going to help. More on Palin later tonight. Stay tuned!

Oh yeah, Obama gtave a speech last night that was pretty good.

pink ties

Well, august 2008 will probably go down as the slowest bluntest month to date (see, you might think that we all have broken arms [except pimpernel] but really, its just me. your other contributors have fully functioning extremities, and are just lazy as dirt.) I have been spending a whole lotta time on the 'ol 'puter, but its been on this page, the NY Craft Beer Week site I designed. It's up and running, and quite impressive, if I may say so. Not just the design/functionality, but the event itself is huge. Literally crap-loads of beers, breweries, and bars participating. Any NY readers should definitely consider going. Everything takes me 3x-5x times longer then it should which is why I've only been working on that.

anyway, here's some stuff to gander at.

ignore the authors captions, they're not funny. the images are though.
check out this weird academic-ish article about reggae. cause the drastics is in it. huh?
so livejournal has a really shitty rip off of blogger's "post secret". it's called "secretpost". how original. anyway, i found this and it made me hate angst more than ever. grow up kid.
Detroit is an interesting town ... must watch until 3min mark


aight, i'll try to get back on this.

Sexlympics

We've flattened their fingers, we've branded their buns, Nothing is working: SEND IN THE NUNS! (If you don't get it, click here)

Yowza!

Ping Pong Sluts (TM Drisnastic):“We are trying to push the players to use skirts and also nicer shirts, not the shirts that are made for men, but ones with more curves,” International Table Tennis Federation (ITTF) vice president Claude Bergeret said.

Fishburne is joining the cast of CSI

Fishburne, 47, received an Oscar nomination for his portrayal of Ike Turner in 1993's "What's Love Got to Do With It" and a Tony in 1992 for "Two Trains Running." He was a Tony nominee this year for the one-man show, "Thurgood," about Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall. His film credits include the "Matrix" sci-fi films, in which he played Morpheus; "Apocalypse Now"; "The Color Purple"; "Mystic River"; "21"; "Akeelah and the Bee"; and "Biker Boyz." (I bet he wishes they didn't mention "Biker Boyz", but then again, maybe that appeals to the CSI crowd's appreciation for bad acting.)

Fun with CNN

CNN is really raising the bar for journalism: Amateur journalism on an LA burlesque house and theater. (NSFW in case you couldn't tell by the word "burlesque") Here's a good quote: "It's not about nudity, it's about story telling" . . . and I get my subscription to "Juggs" for the articles. And, no real surprise here, the burlesque show pays for the actual theater portion. One last thing on this theater: they have a children's theater school. If only I had teachers when I was young whom I could look up on the internet and see dancing around in corsets.

As for the actual reporting, CNN apparently is now allowing amateur commercials to be shown on their website. I think the requirement is the commercial must include sex, animals, or children wearing or doing something comical.

Now for Other Articles:

"Mayor John Molony found himself under attack Monday over comments he made to a local newspaper that read: "May I suggest if there are five blokes to every girl, we should find out where there are beauty-disadvantaged women and ask them to proceed to Mount Isa."" Cause a big fat woman will keep you warm at home

The lagging economy has stopped teenage girls from dressing like whores . . . DAMN YOU REPUBLICANS!!!

Chinese Bible laws are very much like US drug laws: "Under Chinese law, it is illegal to bring printed religious material into the country if it exceeds the amount for personal use." Gideon would be SOOO busted.

The Biggest BM to Fly Over Chicago

Not that kind of BM! The funny kind! Ok, poop is funny, but I'm talking about Bill Murray! And now a highlight of the pictures:

An Actor from Pineapple Express Got Arrested For Drugs

Who'd've thunk it?

Prosecutors have filed felony drug charges against Craig Phillip Robinson, an actor best known for his role as Darryl Philbin on NBC's "The Office."

I'm Gonna Sell This For Drugs!

I Don't Think "It's the Sauce" Anymore

Hecky’s of Chicago, at 1234 N. Halsted St., was shut down Wednesday afternoon when city health inspectors discovered evidence of a cockroach infestation

Hopefully When the Dust Settles, Georgia Will Have a New Name

“George Bush's Administration is promoting interests of candidate John McCain,” said Dr Markov [political scientist advisor to Putin]. “Defeated by Barak Obama on all fronts, McCain has one last card to play yet - the creation of a virtual Cold War with Russia . . . Bush himself did not want a war in South Ossetia but his Republican Party did not leave him any choice.” The Americans were now engineering an armed conflict between Ukraine and Russia, Dr Markov added. (As seen on wonkette.com)

Georgia (the European one, of course) needs a new name. Cause it's way to confusing, especially with this CNN headline: Georgians: We have Bigfoot carcass in freezer

I hate pilfering stuff from other blogs, but that seemed like a fairly important news article.

Bush is Getting Ideas

Someone should tell the journalists in Georgia (Europe, not US) that there's a cease-fire because the journalists are still finding ways to get themselves shot. Seriously, how can you have a cease-fire if people insist on getting shot? (By the way, there's blood in this video. Not a lot, but just a heads up.)

*** UPDATE: Here's another video of journalists getting shot at in Georgia. Different incident. Note at the end, the camera man is trying to get a shot of a soldier's face. Instead he gets the butt of his gun.

Alan Colmes Grows Some Huevos

Sean Hannity was probably thinking, "Who let this guy on the show? Oh, is this the guy who's name comes after mine in the title? Isn't he supposed to be doped up on morphine so he can't cause any problems?"

(This link was first brought to my attention by wonkette.com and created by News Hounds)

i'm still alive

damn pimperenel. thanks for owning the bluntest in my absence . i can type, albeit very slowly (with one finger) so excuse my lack of posting. yeah, so the doc said no surgery cause apparently my left elbow is shattered to such small pieces that it's not an option. awesome, when he told me that i literally had to lie down as it was like getting hit with a ton of bricks. there's not enough bone to drill into. if he was going to, he would have to break my other arm bone AND drill into cartilage. obviously, not doin' that. so the bones is staying where they is and we hope for the best. apparently my cast was set pretty good (at cook county, no less) and my bones are lined up really well. the bad news is that even after therapy, i might not get 100% use of my left arm back. that is in terms of reflexivity and degree of wrist turning. needless to say, i'm pretty bummed these days. i don't think i'll have bob-dole-arm, but it's still a drag. aye.

yesterday was bad. barely got out of bed. today is better, got up relatively early and have been working on the computer since noon. last night also recorded some drastic horns on the 6 cuts we (luckily) got done before the accident, so i'm feeling good about that.

oh, and that comment from ritch on my last post isn't a joke. the broken bone count for the drastics is now: drummer with 2 broke arms, and a guitarist with a broke shoulder. this is fucking unbelievable.

Bluntestburgh Update

Yo, the fair denizens of Bluntestburgh need your help! They're leaving the city cause they got no jobs! There are lines around the corner for people waiting to get their government rationed Champale!

Why Won't She Just Go Away?

But the buzz is that Clinton may take it a step further and have her name formally placed before the convention, complete with nominating speeches, seconding speeches and all the hoopla they produce."


(Picture created by the loving plaster encased hands of Driznastic in exchange for 3 PBR and a half a pack of Newports . . . delicious)

Gross

You get what you deserve for eating at BK. The beautiful part of this video is the ineptness of whomever is in charge of blurring out people's faces.

The Chinese Are Crazy

Not the Chinese people, but the Chinese government. Here's some nuggets from the Olympics that also illustrate some of the reasons why I'm against them being held in China:

Lin was lip-syncing to the sound of another girl, 7-year-old Yang Peiyi, who was heard but not seen, apparently because she was deemed not cute enough.

Cute, but can't sing
Ugly, but can sing

And then there's the whole anti-religion thing: Those Christians who want to avoid the state-controlled religious movements meet in unofficial buildings or even each others' homes - hence their description as "house churches" - risking fines, imprisonment, torture and even, in some cases, death.

And you can't forget the creepy treatment of Houston Rocket, Chinese-born Yao Ming: The Chinese government had monitored his birth because of the perfect physical and athletic genes of his parents, forever treating him as something of a science project.

There's plenty of other reasons, some noted before, and others that haven't been noted on this, the greatest of blogs.

*** UPDATE: I totally got the jump on Wonkette for this post by over an hour. Up yours professional bloggers!

Who is That Masked Douchebag?

So after reading about the new wildlife regulations that are to be published by the Department of Interior and Secretary Dirk Kempthorne (what a douche name), I got to asking myself, "Who is Secretary Douchebag?" So I did some digging. Ok, I checked out wikipedia. I'll highlight the important parts for you who don't like to click:

- He's from Idaho
- He hates the environment
- He was executive vice president of the Idaho Builders Association, not really a pro-environment group
- He holds the record for his position as Secretary for being the least active in putting species on the endangered list
- Early in his career, he was state public affairs officer for FMC, otherwise known as Food Machines and Chemicals. Sounds environmental to me.
- During his tenure at FMC, the corporation was rocked by the Ivan Boesky insider trading scandal. Coincidence? I think not!
- The guy who succeeded Kempthorne's senate seat was named Crapo. Apparently Idahoans only vote for people with funny/douchebag names.
- And apparently Dirk was such a douchebag Idaho had to change it's laws in order to stop him from taking corporate money while he was Governor. The law is called the "Bribery and Corrupt Influences Act".
- He's a douchebag

I don't get it

The Interior Secretary is issuing new regulations, which carry the weight of law as long as they do not conflict with actual congressionally passed legislation, altering the requirement that federal agencies must assess the amount and effect of greenhouse emissions for construction projects.

The draft rules would bar federal agencies from assessing the emissions from projects that contribute to global warming and its effect on species and habitats . . . . [Interior Secretary Kempthorne said] "It is important to use our time and resources to protect the most vulnerable species. It is not possible to draw a link between greenhouse gas emissions and distant observations of impacts on species."

What you don't know can't hurt you, right? So we better know as little as possible. Nay, we MUST know as little as possible. Or the terrorist polar bears win.

Singh is the King

Yo, what up. This Big Snoop Dogg. Represent the Punjabi. Aye ya, hit em with this

Sorry, it's been a pretty rough week. Not "hit by a semi" rough, but pretty close.

Cancer got you down?

if and when you get cancer, shrooms are free! Too bad you don't get anything if you get hit by a truck.

(From Baron von D)

Nergasm

O! M! G! Like playing naked Dungeons and Dragons with Madonna.

a haiku about my shitty day

a semi truck ran
into me and my bike. fuck.
my arms barely work



i wish this was a joke.

Do I belong on the internet?

Sometimes people question the choices they have made in life. They wake up one day and they say "Wait, putting misspelled captions on pictures of cats is something that would entertain a retard" or "Downloading music is kinda unethical if you really think about it" or "I hate everyone on the internet, but especially liberals, neocons, independents, Paultards, and Clinton supporters"

It is times like this in our lives where we ask ourselves "Is the entertainment value worth all the stupid bullshit i find as soon as I log on?"

To answer that question, click here. If nothing makes you laugh, you should probably just stick to AOL.

..... tumbleweed noise ..............

hello ?
does anyone else post on this blog?

boo.

anyway, Doesn't this look photoshopped? and why is there a security perimeter around the McCains? Cause its not ... here's the story I saw it at ...

Bootleg Sleestacks for McCain!

So our lovely Wonkette posted an email they received from one "Robert S" informing the reader off a YouTube video he posted that is "narrated by Mr. W. McSpeedy, a character I created for the sole purpose of what the video is all about." The email (while hilarious) does not include a link to anything. Instead, it rambles (seemingly) endlessly about this Mr. W. McSpeedy and a certain Sen. Zero whom "holds the opposite political position of that Mr. W. McSpeedy stands for." Fortunately, someone in the "comments" section knows how to use a search box ... here 'tis ... it is truly ... something ...



Serious Warning Message: You will not get the 5:40 minutes of your life back if you choose to watch it in its entirety. However, I do recommend you at least watch until 2:30.

and it begins ...

So you know how there's about a thousand movies that depict some kind of bleak world future where corporations run everything, and its just soooo crazy because that would never happen, right? Besides, everyone knows that aside from lobbyists, special interest groups and huge private "gifts" given to politicians; corporations don't involve themselves with the government! They just get politicians to sign bills that favor their industry, hand out cute logo-emblazoned golf balls, and control the government from behind the scenes. Big business would never outright tell people how or who to vote for ...

Wal-Mart Stores Inc said on Friday it has held meetings with U.S. store managers warning them of issues that could arise if Democrats win power and pass a law that would make it easier for workers to unionize, but stressed it was not telling workers how to vote.

Now, call me paranoid, but when a company that has a larger economic presence than a small-to-medium country starts "suggesting" to its employees on how to vote ... well ... shoots ... I guess I'll just wait in line for my soylent green like everyone else ...