From the Obituaries

I wonder what his last words were . . . . (What? Too tasteless?)

Does the fan look like a halo to you?

And what do you know, there are assholes in the South. But don't worry, cause this is not about race. Fucking rednecks.

Don't taze me, bro!

A dude at the University of Florida was tasered at a John Kerry forum. We could have a long conversation about the appropriateness of the police reaction to a college kid asking a question, but at the end of the day, that kid is kind of a stupid asshole and if he was here, I'd taze him myself, bro.

The YouTube kids have already remixed his pleas for mercy.


PREVIOUS POST UPDATE: Maury has brought us the truth about Chris Crocker.

P.S. You know that part of your mind that has always said "I wonder what Oscar de la Hoya looks like in a full-body fishnet?"

stuff i (mostly) stole from others

one of the funniest things i've seen in a while... "I know how you ladies feel. Juggling careers and having the kids. We can do it all, yah! There you go.. fried egg...there's your damn fried egg sandwich!" let's play chess, exercise, paint and cook TV ... courtesy elliot ross

a really really fresh "video" to a bob dylan tune, as remixed/replayed by the dap-kings (outta brookyln, nyc) ... Most Likely You Will Go Your Way (& I'll Go Mine) ... i love the original so much, that its hard for me to get into another version (even by the dap-kings) but the video is brilliant in its concept and execution ... courtesy my eyeballs and kincaid for hippin' me to the dap-kings

"I told them to leave him in the chimney and let him die," she told the Courier & Press ... courtesy mr. ross, et al

Cops: Man dies after armless artist’s head-butt ... courtesy ms. gadola

laser turntable ... courtesy the always lovely sanam

This is Weird

I need to do some more research on this to get the whole story

Unlucky

Sucks to be them

phunny

All I Want for My Birthday

I don't understand this

I'd elaborate, but I'm in class right now . . . .

its that time again ...

HAPPY BIRFDAY PIMPERNEL!
YOU SLUT!!



FEEL THE BURN!!!!!!



and now for an impersonation that mr. pimpernel might find ... a little cheeky

News for the Monday

Let's see here: soft core porn, sci-fi show, another sex series, children's show. Remind you of anyone?

And apparently you can't say "goddamn" on FOX. Or maybe she got censored because she wasn't a hot blonde. Or not animated (See: Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, etc.)

Or maybe it's because FOX hates liberals. (A side not to that article: "If we were so interested in confiscating Iraq's substantial oil reserves, why didn't we just plow through there, and deputize the place then? We could have. We didn't." Apparently this schmuck doesn't realize that, no we couldn't have. That's exactly what we're trying to do now and failing. And this little nugget: "Trust me, if we wanted just oil, we'd position all our troops around just oil facilities. We didn't. We haven't. And we aren't." Once again, this schmuck is wrong. That's exactly what we did when we first invaded. So by "didn't" he really should have said "did".)

putin-nany!

aight ... so in my last post, i called out russian premiere, ex-kgb head-honcho, and all around spooky individual: vladimir putin on havin' givin' up a whole lot of goofy photo-ops over the last couple months ... so today's post is dedicated to the man ...

and as many goofy-ass photos of him i can find ...

we'll skip the weird b&w photos of him and his man-boobies since everyone seent those already ...

so here we go!

here he is enjoying his life size nut-cracker collection, somewhere deep in the cockles of the kremlin (the boy was paid 5 rubles for the week and then was shipped back to serbia)

here he is on a smoke break while working at russia's favorite fascist/totalitarian hamburger stand the stal-in-out burger ... wow, that was so corny it'd even make actor blush

just don't forget he used to be KGB

no, seriously don't mess with him ... on a side note, i'm pretty sure he played renard in "the world is not enough"

however, it wouldn't be the last time he trodded the boards in the entertainment world ... in the early 90's he teamed up with a buddhist monk and attempted a shabba ranks/maxi priest kinda thing ... the unlikely duo weren't recieved well, and their only full-length "He's the Monk, I'm the Totalitarian-Free Press Hatin'-Despot" failed to break the Top-10 charts even in Russia ... and iTunes downloads of the single "Y U Hatin'?" were brisk, at best

seriously now how many times i gotta say it ... !?

he has a real sweet model rocket, BUT YOU CAN'T PLAY WITH IT! ... no, seriously volodya, my uncle gave it to me, and it's like, really really expensive ... NO, STOP TOUCHING IT ... COMON GUYS, IM SERIOUS ...... FINE, SCREW YOU GUYS, I'M TAKING MY ROCKET AND GOING HOME!!!

he likes goats

i mean, he really likes goats

but don't worry he also likes little boys too

here he is playing the classic russian game, pull the giant turkey leg from the rocketship before it takes off! ... the gentleman on the left is refereeing the match ...

must be one of the jokes only fascist-loving, free-speech-hatin', own-citizen-spyin', civil-rights-removin', douche-bag-appointin', election-stealin', "presidents" get ...

uhhhhh ....................... so many questions now ...

lookin' ball show : volume 5

nice photo .... but its got emo-kid stank* all over it ...

el sol ... i dont't know if this photo is fabricated or a composite or what, but ... whoa ...

safety tip ... while most atheists assume goat-like bodies upon rejecting the lord, they still do enjoy a good thick robe and mug o' joe ...

the mrs' tipped me to this ... takes a while to load all the levels, but if you got time, it's pretty cool ...

just a pretty picture

inside joke theatre : did sofie, josh or noam make this for me ? and it somehow ended up on a russian blog ? 3 months after my birthday ?

re:bogardus ... creepy how similar that looks ...

has anyone else noticed that an inappropriate amount of goofy photos of putin have been released in the last couple of months





*they might just be british

Ever Beat Up a Priest?

Me neither. Luckily we have police to do that now. And what happened? The priest got arrested, of course! At least they let him go to the hospital first because they tore the ligaments in his ankle. The worst thing is, it took about 6 cops to take down a priest. What would've happened if he, you know, wasn't a man of the cloth and actually was looking for a fight? I'm guessing those cops would've gotten their asses kicked.

To think what would have happened to the priest if he tried to make an illegal right turn! (Thanks City of Chicago! Yeah, that was down the street from me. There are a ton of schools in my neighborhood.)

Avoid the plague

The Britney Meltdown

If you didn't see it, this is Britney Spears's latest performance at the MTV Video Music Awards

I would like to mock this video and talk about how Britney looks like she can't decide whether to be be bored, confused, or drunk, but after watching this second video, I have decided that it is a better idea if I just LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

It's Time for The Todd

I got nothing more to add

And in case you were wondering, 30 seconds has never seemed as short as when I was the "phone-a-friend" on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire today.

Salad

Real life super villains

Some more comics

Last three articles care of boredatwork.com

Still No Internet at Home

Sorry for the extended hiatus. Gotta make this brief. Blogging during class. 10 days till interneting in the comfort of my own home.

Just a heads up, watch yourself Bogardus

Kind of like Mona Lisa's

Oprah's planning on eating the GOP

He didn't want to go to your stupid party, anyway

Where's Steve Fossett? Perhaps Galt's Gulch?
(Read a book sometime, will ya?)