Trends

an open letter to william parker

in response to

Dear William,

Well, I do hope I am not being presumptuous by calling you by your first name! Mayhaps Mr. Parker Jr., or Mr. C.E.O. would be more appropriate! Oh, I kid with you Bill, but I am glad you did decide to get a hold of me! I have been thinking about partnering our fair publication "The Bluntest" with another periodical of the "electronic" variety. You see, for it is my dream to one day be held up as a magnate, a Blog-Baron of sorts within the confines of our fair republic. I did take a trice or two and perused your fine addition to the Blogdom, and I must say! Your excellent coverage of scholarships is something i can certainly sink my teeth into (especially that burger king one! hahaLOLWTFROFLBBQFBICIAVHSBETAJAHHHHHRASTAFLOURIDEINIWANCLEANTEETHFEHGWONALIKKLEBURGAKINGCROWNONDEMHEADS!!!!!!!!) It's actually quite a bit of amusement as I have been looking for an electronic pamphlet that covers discovering job information, news, travel recommendations, the latest workplace fashions, transportation reports, cutting-edge technology trends, dating, health and personal finance tips! I was so sick of having to go to 9 different blogs to get that information. So, indeed, a hearty "HUZZAH!" is extended to you Willy for saving me so much time! Please allow me to cite how helpful your digital compendium has been to me. For example, I learned from reading your informative lexicon that "The belt's buckle has to be silver or gold.", "Of course you’ll need a fabulous new bag to go with all this gorgeous outerwear.", and "Even with a casual dress code, avoid short skirts, low-cut necklines, too-high heels, too-tight clothes, and anything bordering too sexy." Thanks to you, joboja.blogspot.com, I'm going right home to throw away all my non-gold and non-silver belt buckles, picking out a fabuuuulooooous new bag, and getting rid of all my too-tight-bordering-on-too-sexy clothes! Phew! My face would have been as rouge as the Star of Phoebus if I had showed up to the office wearing any of THAT!

On a side note, I am a huge fan of your work with Cecil Taylor and David S. Ware. I haven't yet been able to pick up a copy of your book "who owns music?" but it sounds intriguing. However, I must implore you to stop this masquerading as a Blog CEO and get back to what you do best, free-jazz double bass playing!

Sincerely,
Driznastic
CEO, Editor-In-Chief, Arts-Correspondent, Music-Correspondent, Donkey Handler, Well-Wisher, Free Cupcakes, Complimentary Samples of Margarine, Cartons of Lik-M-Aids, Hotwheels Collections, Mint-Condition Death Masks of Italian Royalty, Tar-Windshield-Wipers, Poutine, Simulcasts of Ethiopian Rugby, Giraffes on the Moon, Vegetarian Bacon, Life-size replicas of St. John's Basilica, Ballpits, Laugh-Outs, Indian Masala Tea made with Gatorade, Christmas in July, Chuckfacing, Jimmychucking, Horseliptieing, Hooptywrecking, Crowheading, Hate-crimes against Atlantians, Cattle rustling, Chocolate-covered mosque mold-design, Pogo-stickin', Giant-Bird-Face-Replica-Restraints, et al.
The Bluntest
driznastic@yourmom.com
(773) i aint givin you my damn phone number

lookin' ball show : volume 8

SHADOWpuppets
PRETTYlibraries
bjork
drinking beer with a straw from a ludicrously large glass (i know its not her)
THISis
the weirdest episode of sailor moon yet
gah!
Ihate
the expression, but wtf
Ihope
this is a real photo
KILLERdesign
from "tubes" on flickr ... check his illustrations as well ...

looks like the internet got its act together to provide me with more crap to serve you!

News

"It comes to a point where there are certain things you just can't do. And putting testicles on the back of a truck is just too much."

I almost peed myself

people who make me laugh

-author and actress, Amy Sedaris
-stand-up comedian, Zack Galifianakis
-writer, director, and actor, Ricky Gervais
-internet famous musician, Jonathan Coulton
-pimpernel and his band, Bear Force One

and its come to this ...

seriously, i'm either desensitized to the internet, have a sever case of bloggers-block, or there jus aint nothin happenin anymore on the world wide web ... so its down to me posting old stuff that im pretty sure i havent posted before ... but is by no means "fresh" (i mean, its fresh but its not new)

rappcats ... lord quas killa site ... watch the video for rappcats (fresh!), d/l the journey into fresh diggin mp3 (+ the album artwork), or watch mos def cover madvillian ... and check out all the fools straight bitin quas/madlib/stones throw ... they cover them also

this makes two blog entries of me postin links to things that been out for at least 6 months ...

"A" for effort

i spent about 30 min today in my various internet depositories of the strange and came up with nothing worthwhile to showcase on the blog ...

see, we have standards here, and unlike some bluntest bloggers whose names start with "b", i won't post comic strips or LOLCATS to pad out some space ... (ohhhh ho ho ho, SICK BURN!)

the only thing i did find i liked was these blokes The Wilcannia Mob ... they are "on" MIAs latest release "Kala" which i can't stop listening to ... my girl has been really into her for years, and i always kinda dismissed it as some silly brit-electro-house stuff ... but the girls alright, more then alright, political, sexy, intelligent and comes with the ill beats ... anyway, so the Wilcannia Mob are aboriginal kids from a real rough city in australia, and they did this track "Down River" that blew up down under, MIA used pretty much the whole tune and just added some verses and a different beat at points ... pretty hot track ...

aight, im out! i tried!

34+72=awesome

courtesy chicago's own hyde park records (admittedly, i haven't made it down there, but i've heard good things)

and the angels sang ...

have a listen

more on perry's musical career

As Fat Boys become fat men obviously some of the magic that came from their unadulterated youth began to fade. That particular magic had never really been in Stettler’s plans, however. He was a plugger, and he was looking for blatant, shameless ways to cash in, crossover and get that money. The first desperately blatant cash-in project was the 1985 single "CHILLIN WITH THE REFRIGERATOR" (Sutra, 1985). That record seemed more natural than forced, however, as William Perry, star of the media-darlings Super Bowl champ ‘85-86 Chicago Bears, was a joyful, youthful, mammoth novelty star himself. It’s not surprising that they made him "an honorary Fat Boy" on the record, as they sang his praises and honored him by offering Perry "pizza, spaghetti and a pound of veal." Perry posed with the boys for the cover, but doesn’t rap on the record...
info courtesy rocktober
here's the cover

pimpernel, i'm gunnin for yer job as sports-guy of this blog

baby mama drama

and back to politics ... i have a feeling ol' mitt has been left off the bluntest hating because he is just so freakin crazy none of us feel compelled to ridicule ... so i'm doing right by ol' mitt ... especially if you live in michigan, please click that link ... because the GOP deserves the very best

Campaign Ad

I hate negative campaign ads

things i learned from pimpernels post

betty boop is italian
or maybe jewish
that when skeletons drink, they turn black
that when skeletons drink, they die
that when skeletons die, their spirit leaves their body
ghosts are usually rotund
capital punishment is fairly ineffective against ghosts
when mammals breastfeed their bodies are consumed in the process
that when scared, some people invert their colors
giant witch tonsils have faces
ghosts reproduce asexually

great! but what's the song all about?

well, first off it was written by cab calloway (duh), but based on a song written by frankie "half pint" jaxon titled "willie the weeper" (recorded in chicago in 1927) ... don't believe me?
check out the lyrics

Have you heard the story, folks, of Willie the Weeper?
Willie's occupation was a chimney sweeper,
He had a dreamin' habit, he had it kind of bad,
Listen, let me tell you 'bout the dream he had:

listen to it here

as you can hear, minnie and willie have quite a different melody, but the words are quite similair in their structure ... to my ear, minnie sounds an awful lot like "st john infirmary blues", but anyway ...

all still pretty innocent, however, i found these lyrics ... sung, and possibly written by ernest rodgers .... also recorded in 1927 (presumably in atlanta georgia as that was rodgers home)

Have you ever heard of willie the weeper
had a job as a chimney sweeper
Had the hop habit and had it bad
Listen and I will tell you about a dream he had

listen to it here

hop habit=opium

so the original version of "willie the weeper" is all about an opium addicts hallucination and the jaxton version is all about a guy who just dreams alot ...

as should be obvious, calloways's version is all about a a gal named minnie and her druggie boy friend smoky joe ... who was awful "cokie" (cocaine) and took her down to china town for some "kicking the gong around" (opium) and while on an opium high, minnie has a dream about the king of sweden who gave her a million in "nickels and dimes" (nickel/dime bag usually of marijuana)

bottomline

drugs. in your music since 1927.

Obama

His concession speech from the NH primary.

If this guy isn't our next president, I really have to question what is going on in the heads or over 50% of America

from the east

courtesy of our unofficial east coast operative "amelia"




old greg




green team

Who is Mike Huckabee?

Besides having a decidely un-presidential name, who is this man? Sure, he's got some nice endorsements, but where does he stand on these (not so) talked about issues? So, let's go straight to the source . . . .

Here's the one that caught my eye: taxes. So he says he wants to do away with the IRS and all income/payroll taxes. So where would the government be getting the revenue to provide for things such as Social Security, Medicare and also pay for the ever expanding cost of Iraq and Afghanistan?

Answer: The Fair Tax! (If you're too lazy to read the article, it's basically a federal sales tax.)

Ok, so we get that it's fair or it wouldn't be called the Fair Tax. Just like the Patriot Act was the essential act of patriotism, right? (Sorry, too early in the post to start getting snarky.)

To determine if it really is fair, lets see what the consequences of the Fair Tax would be:
All revenue previously acquired by the Feds by the IRS would have to come from the federal sales tax. What does this mean?

The amount you pay in taxes will no longer be determined by how much your total income is, but by how much you spend. For example, if an household makes $50k a year and another household makes $200k a year and they both spend $50k that year, they'll be taxed for the same amount. Household 2 would end up saving that $150k a year without any tax implications.

I pay sales tax at the store everyday, so what?

Well, the intention is to encourage people to save money and invest it rather than spend it on the house built of golden steel or the diamond car with the platinum wheels. (Yeah, that's a mean sousaphone in the back.) There are two problems with this: 1) when a household cannot afford to save or invest; and 2) there are already tax incentives to save and invest.

When a Household Cannot Afford to Save/Invest
Say a household brings in an income of the poverty level. Under the Fair Tax, the household would receive a check from the federal government each month for the amount of taxes they would pay if they spent their entire income. Every household receives a check for the taxable amount of the poverty level, regardless of their income. The problem is, however, that until they receive that check, they're being taxed. So, for simplicity of math's sake, let's say that the poverty level is $20k and the tax rate is 30%. (The 30% tax rate is what is suggested by Fair Tax proponents, but opponents suggest that it will need to be 34% to equal the same amount of revenue brought in by the government.) Each month they'd be taxed as they make purchases and have to wait for their refund check so they can get by. Essentially it'll create a lower class that is dependent on receiving their tax reimbursement check to get by. Any problems receiving this check could have dire consequences, especially since 30+% is such a large percentage.

Oh yeah, and this whole system would create a RIDICULOUSLY HUGE bureaucracy to mail out checks to every household, figure out who is in what household, when someone has moved, when someone has died, etc. And they'll have to keep this going every single month. I'm guessing that'll be pretty expensive for the taxpayers.

There are Current Save/Invest Incentives
If you have an IRA, 401(k) or any similar defined contribution plan with your employer, you are already taking advantage of some of the tax advantages offered to individuals to encourage saving for retirement as well as encouraging investment of these funds. The money deposited into your 401(k) account is withdrawn from your paycheck before being taxed and deposited in your own personal account where it gains interest without being taxed. It is only taxed when you retired and take the money out of your account.

Now, if you have a Roth 401(k) or a Roth IRA the Fair Tax is pretty much the worst situation. You've already paid your taxes, probably cause you thought that the income tax rate at the time you were going to withdraw your retirement funds would be higher than they are now. Well, with the Fair Tax, the rate would be 0.

As for investing, currently money made through investments are subject to a lower tax rate than ordinary income. Money made through the sale of investment properties are subject to the capital gains tax.

So the Fair Tax is different than the Income Tax. Does that make it bad?
I'm going to say yes. Most people make their money the old fashioned way: getting their ass to work and getting a paycheck at the end of the week. All that money you've saved up (if there is any) has already been taxed by the IRS. If we get this fantastic Fair Tax, as soon as you spend that saved money, you'll get taxed again. And you'll probably get taxed at a higher rate than you did when you first made that money.

The Fair Tax Double Tax
Say you're just some dood who makes his $45k a year. You try to be good and have been squirreling away a little here and little there, trying to get that sweet sweet house in the 'burbs you've always dreamed about. According to the 2007 IRS tax rates , about 25% of your money has already been taken through income taxes by the IRS. Now that you've saved up your 20% of that $200k house, you're ready to make a downpayment. Oh, but wait. The Fair Tax is gonna charge you a 30% take on that downpayment. So get ready to cough up another $60k for that house. Yeah, you've already paid your dues to the IRS, but tough crapola. Thanks Fair Tax!

How has the Fair Tax worked so far?
So former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee thinks the Fair Tax is a much better way to generate revenue for the government. So how has it worked for Arkansas? What's that you say? Arkansas still has an income tax? Maybe it was the AK legislature. What's that you say? Huckabee actually raised income taxes in his state? Makes you wonder why he's trying this grand experiment with the whole country when he wouldn't/couldn't do it with Arkansas.

Conclusion
This post is getting long, but I think you get the point. The Fair Tax is pretty whack. Sure, no one likes the IRS or paying taxes. Sure, paying income tax can be pretty confusing. But it works (kind of). Do you really want to roll the dice with our countries finances? Especially since we're now running a ridiculous deficit? Is this really a good idea or a ploy to get votes?

One thing is for sure though: the duty free section of the airport would be the most popular place to shop!

For some reference sites:
A Pro-Fair Tax Site
An Anti-Fair Tax Site

paultard-o

if you read wonkette, you know what it is ... the kind of person who thinks ron paul would make a really really great president.

i hope this is a joke ... even if it is, i still don't get it

ron paul: racist.

man with monkey in love with ron paul ... the video is set up as a joke, but its much sadder/funnier then intended when you realize how much work went into covering this guys house with everything "ron paul" ...

this has got the stank of a farker all over it ... still, i concur ...

stay up to date ... wonkette's continuing coverage of all things paultardish

and now for something completely different

the art of spam

and

LOLTAPIRs ... yeah, i know ... but ... tapirs!

and again ...

why japan? WHY!?

a rare unaltered photo of the one called "ron paul"

Monkey Sex Monday

Pimps and Hoes

This definitely could've been funnier

So, you wanna watch the monkeys do it?

You didn't think I'd forget this, did you?

This is weird

Perhaps weirder (cool looking one at 2:45)

"ooh ooh ah ah!" really means "That's the spot"

Has nothing to do with monkeys, but still rad as hell!!! NSWF-ish