return of ...

i would like to extend a very special "welcome-back" to our founder and brother-in-blogging, bogardus ... yes, after a much needed hiatus/sabbatical, a bout with scrivener's palsy, a touch of saint vitus' dance, an ongoing hectical complaint, a bout with the grocer's itch, a panic with some summer's complaint, a permanent case of spina bifida, an ongoing battle with hydrocephalus, and finally, a unfortunate series of apoplexies ... the fine quacks doctors here at st. bluntest resurrection hospital have seen it fit to release and re-institute this fine vessel of human suffering ... god speed, young bogardus!

and for more pioneer diseases read this

and here's the whole clan!

lookin' ball show : volume 1

how i usually end my dates

pedo the bear ... he has sex with school girls, i guess ...

they aint lying

my future wife ... if im lucky!

nice work soldier, today, we feast like kings

i've said it before, and i'll say it again ... there's so many things about this picture i don't understand

petanque postcard ? i think its like a french version of bocci ... theres a bunch of really good ones in there, but click "next" to see one of the sweetest ones of all!

bad movie physics ... i only read a portion of this at time of posting, but i like the idea ... kinda like mythbusters, but for nerds ... wait ...

I'm back, bitches!

Why I'm Awesome

So I'm sitting in my apartment last week one afternoon and my neighbor from downstairs pops up asking if I looked outside my window recently. Saying no, we then went to my window that overlooks my neighbor's backyard. Lo and behold, to my surprise, there were about 5 people having a photoshoot nextdoor. What was even more exciting, it was a Playboy shoot. And apparently this was not the first time Playboy has had a photoshoot there.

And then yesterday I find out that I might have to move cause my building is being sold. How cruel.

broads ...

yeah, i know thats a loaded word, most folks will only think of it in a negative connotation ... but i've met alot of broads i've really liked ... theyre usually drunk, smoking a cigarette and talkin as much shit as the rest of us ... thats what makes em broads ... i dunno why its considered such a diss ... even real classy dames can be broads sometimes, its the equivalent of callin a guy a dickhead, or prick but with just a touch of class ... you dont hear many girls gettin called "dickhead", or if you do, yer hangin wit some people i'd like to meet ...

anyway, so the drastics played in madison last nite ... good times, except for me havin to strongarm for more money at the end of the nite ... seriously people, literally ANYONE reading this post right now ... YOU, yes YOU can be an awesome promoter/booker for a club ... here's what you do, its seriously takes 3 simple steps ...

1. if you promise a band a certain deal, don't back out on it, or misinform yer staff to the arrangement previously made
   
2. only book bands that COMPLIMENT EACH OTHER on one nite, so no bluegrass/metal shows, and no reggae/whiny-prog-emo-rock shows either
   
3. make sure the band is comfortable

see? isn't that easy ? fer trill people, thats ALL IT TAKES ... and yet so many fail so miserably at this task ...

anyway, our guitarist and trumpet player split out the club wit a couple of madison broads, im pretty sure these are them ... nice work fellas!

wonder broad

serious (future-president) broads

boring-ass broads

brawlin' broads

and here's some info on the bizarre mcdonalds universe of characters ... for instance, did you know that grimace, when first introduced, was "evil grimace" and had 4 arms with which to steal milkshakes ? well, now you do ...

Fucked up News

"Newton, 37, was pronounced dead at 11:53 a.m. at the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility; his execution had been set to begin at 10.

He weighed 265 at his physical on Wednesday. The head of the Public Defender's death penalty division, Joe Wilhelm, said Newton told him it was hard for blood to be taken from his veins because of his weight.

The public defender's office said the decision was made not to intervene when the execution was delayed.

"You have to remember that Newton wanted to die. Our job isn't to oppose the death penalty, it's to represent our clients," said Greg Meyer, chief counsel for the Ohio Public Defender's Office."

jeez, some more ...

we all know the infamous web church sign generator but i didn't know they had galleries of real signage ... favorites include

hulk jesus
jesus loves watching you watch porn
this link came from one of the signs, church sponsored sex help!
just say all these with a southern accent
can't i just pay the 50 bux?
SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!
haters
a message for the ladies...
just to make sure you dont' think theyre all cute and warm and fuzzy ...
i seriously had to stop when i saw that one ... awful, shameful, disgraceful ...

anyway ...

since i started with double entendres today, i guess ill finish wit one also ...

yarrrrr ... pinch!

... and clorox for the bone smells

once again ... a link about zombies ... this is sofie's territory, not mine ... and apparently ... i'd be a liability in a zombie attack with only a 42% chance of survival ... probably from me answering all the questions about family/friends with "i'd go help them" ... im such a sucker ...

here's yet another terrible movie based on a spooky hp lovecraft book ... "Cthulhu" ... starring the illustrious tori spelling! ...
cthulhu info ... and ...
cthulhu for president official webpage!

GREAT BRITAIN! ... graphically portrayed ...

yo! ... thems my brodogs, bra ...

chinese engrish

... and they loved every minute of it ...

RUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE!

in this corner ... wearing the thick brown hide and horns ... weighing in at 1535 pounds ... THE SLAMMA FROM THE SAVANNAH! ... THE AFRICAN BUFFALO!!!

... and in this corner ... the challenger ... wearing the tan fur and claws ... weighing in at 375 pounds ... THE QUEEN OF THE JUNGLE ... THE SCOURGE OF THE AFRICAN CONTINENT! ... THE LIONESS!!!

but! wait!

what do we have here ... !? OH NO! ... WE HAVE AN USURPER IN THE RING!

it looks like ... IT IS!!! after only 3 years of retirement ... its the triumphant return of the AFRICAN CROCODILE!! ... this is certainly gonna throw a wrench into tonights match!

lioness vs african buffalo vs african crocodile

they opposed democracy and ate brains!

in case you find yourself attacked by zombies ... during the 1950s ... THE COMMUNIST PRODUCT OF TAMPERING WITH FORBIDDEN SCIENCE !!!!

and, i gave these to my girl last valentines ... didn't go over to well ...

ras ross & jah lando

elliot of the drastics/kibosh fame had a rough morning ... read all about it here

also, the drastics did a podcase check it out here ... 2 new tracks live in the studio and a whole lot of me talkin bout stuff ...

also

so, yer the fat guy in the x-wing squadron at rebel-flight-training school, yer also one of the first guys to be fallen by the death stars laser ... as if thats not bad enough ... yer not-nickname name is actually "porkins" ... shame on you george lucas ... thankfully someone at i-mockery gave mr. porkins some love

and, also

lando ... already the judas of the star wars universe, now being reigned up on cock-blocking charges ...



aw, but look, they made up!

You Just Can't Make This Up

It's ok because it's an historical cultural term . . . dood ought to start popping some pills again. I know a Brazilian guy who could hook him up real sweet . . . . And the BBC says: "Mr Obama was last week given secret service protection after threats appeared on white supremacist websites." How come we couldn't get that from US news? All we got was a "They won't say why he has secret service protection other than he was threatened."

all hail terry jones, new prime minister of england

Up Your Butt, FDA!

Little, Latin, Different . . . or Pontiff Popping Papal Pills