you tried keepin' it real ...

... but you should try keepin' it right!

i've covered vampire squids before on the ol' blog ... but here's two pictures that are way cool ... i think he likes you....

this guy rocks!

A new Proud American is ready to join the fight
against Illegal Immigration and America's Enemies!!!
Gianluca Zanna, former Legal Immigrant from Italy...
Today proud 100% American Citizen!

watch out mexicans, gianluca has YOU on his RADAR! and he's ready to PILE-DRIVE THAT ASS!!!! YARGGHHHHHH!!!!

oh, and by "guy", i mean "douchebag", and by "rocks", i mean "sucks donkey-balls"

i guess "this" still means "this"

GITONSTNAW!

jus some things i stole from other folks

someone should explain the concept of demographic marketing to these people ... hmmm ... i just can't decide who to be for halloween this year, ghandi or hitler ...

contents of jar unknown ... though i would guess a mixture of pimento, thousand island dressing, radish, and vomit

nowadays, we only use fear tactics to stir up hatred for the blacks and ay-rabys and gays but back in they day ... well, it was a simpler time ..

good ol' fashion nightmare fuel

filler

once again ... how come i didn't know that mario bros was released as an atari game ...

and from wikipedia

The Atari 2600 version is the least faithful of all versions, though it was well-received. Due to 2600 limitations, there is only one pest per floor at a time, and blocky graphics. The player can kick off the Slipice as it is icing a floor. Iced floors only heal at the coin phase. This version also resets the score to zero when surpassing 999,990 points.

so basically, this image on the back of the box is a lie

how do you sleep at night, you ... you ... italian paraquat !

hell yes

One Hundred Famous Views of Edo

the interface is sick

sick with disease

like gangrene

we gonna have to amputate kid

been a second

i got this job, it keeps me busy, and this band, it keeps me busy too ...

this website is pretty damn cool : very small array ... be sure to check the maps and charts ... for all sorts of useful information, such as ... number of presidents born to ihops (by state) ratio and other fun facts! population to mcdonalds / population to wal-mart / population to starbucks ... keep in mind states have different populations, so while california doesn't look like it, it does in fact have the most mcdonalds of any state in the union!

this pretty much sums up my whole life

Pure Logic

Can't argue with that.

But mostly because I don't know what the fuck you just said.

I'm Back!

Sorry I haven't posted in so long, my faithful blog fans (cause I know all 3 of you out there were worried). I got no internet at home and class has just started up and I'm moving in a week. I got lots to do.

This is why you don't want to live with Republicans. They'll kill you.

The Beatles are Evil. So listen to some poorly written/performed rock instead. God will love you more.

the drastics cd release show ... tomorrow nite!

THIS THURSDAY!
AUGUST 23rd
*AT*
THE BEAT KITCHEN, CHICAGO
2100 W BELMONT AVE
9pm, 18+

BI-CENTENNIAL CHEESE CURD APPRECIATION CONGRESS!
and
REGGAE SHOW!!

...featuring...

THE DRASTICS
chicago's favorite dub-reggae sons
DROPPING THEIR NEWEST CD RELEASE
“WAITING”

-and-

DR. RING-DING
german dancehall legend

~specifics for the night of the event~

tom riley
tenor sax, flute, dubs, clarifying statements, emoluments, convergance of cognition

kincaid smith
trumpet, song-crammin', iron lung deficiency, baffling salmagundis

brian citro
guitar, dubious encounters, votary of adam sandler, ability to limn the un-limnable

bijan warner
keys, 1337 H4x0r 5ki115, never doing anything immoral or bad, sand castles

chris merrill
bass, small plastic animals, sylvan splendors, autonomous creations

anthony abbinanti
drums, excessive verbiage, trencherman qualities, breadcrumbs

fada dougou
vocals, honey-dippin', hot-footin', gin-crackin'

zulu
vocals, lack of caesura, super-telescopic vision, incorporating simulacrum of thundercats

|| DISPLAYS OF PRESTIDIGITATION PROVIDED ON THE NIGHT ||

FULL SERVICE CHEESE BAR PRIVELAGES FOR MEMBERS OF THE SOCIETY

-+- RAFFLE PRIZES INCLUDE -+-
A VIOLENT DIRIGIBLE
LIFE TIME SUPPLY OF HAND-CRANKS
BOX OF USED TOOTH-PICKS
FLESH PRODUCTS
AUTOGRAPHED FRED SAVAGE LITHOGRAPHS
JUNK MAIL FOR IRANIAN PRESIDENT

THEDRASTICS.COM
MYSPACE.COM/DRASTICDUB

Don't Click On This Link!

DON'T!

DON'T!

DON'T!

the bluntest on life support ...

this gal draws some really cool stuff

1946. Admiral and Mrs. Blandy celebrate operation crossroads with an atomic cake. This frequently reproduced photograph captures an uncanny resemblance between Mrs. Blandy's hat and the mushroom cloud.

ready! ... and! ...... jazz hands!

that's bogardus in the back

easy post

hungry at 2am the other nite, i hit up grubhub.com ... and realized that a blog post of hilarious proportions was easy as posting customer reviews of flash taco ....

for those who don't know (though it should be apparent by the review), flash taco is a late nite taqueria (and i'm using that term very generously ... grease pit is more accurate) that you should only (i repeat, ONLY) eat, when you are so drunk you do not know any better ... and even then, if you have any REAL friends, they will stop you before doing so ... it's located in the slowly-being-gentrified neighborhood of wicker park and 3am on a weekend nite, it is a vision of my own personal hell ... crap food, drunk trixies and even drunker idiot-chad-marks either screaming in revelry or screaming at their drunk trick (for sucking off their boy, or what have you) ... for those who know, i'm not saying nothin' new ...

on a side note, i know i don't live in the most happening neighborhood in chicago (ukrainian village) but at 2am, there's only 6 places that will deliver to me ... i was expectin more for some reason ...

if we slept together, would you be my friend?

munkeynifefite

crotch buster!

christ all mighty ... i mean, i like body-mods n all that ... but .....

haha ... man, did they get that face right ... i know about 4 dudes that look jus like that ... except for the fish part

new for '89! ... dude, lightening fast 20hz of ram!

pilkipedia ... right ... treat the world ... like a head ...

there's a few things you need to know before we begin ...

effective anti-terrorism campaign

oh i dunno but its kinda funny ... some sort of sim screenshot montage of someone trying to kill their character? maybe ? i dunno

hell yes ... totally forgot about these guys ... and thank god we got nerds to ensure that no only is there a website dedicated, but it holds its namesake as well

i think these are all over the internets today ... hyena people of nigeria ... pictures by pieter hugo ... the picture on that page of the guy with the hyena was being sold by one of the galleries at art chicago this year ... it was blowed up real big and was a really striking image ...

i'm a lebowski, you're a lebowski ... lebowski fan book ... takin pre-orders currently, i think im gonna have to watch it tonite ...

unlike conan o'brien, don't fight bears ... brought to you by fujifilm!

corporate logo color breakdown ... i knew that blue was the most popular color, but damn

oh, jus some stuff

s'why my pappy don't let me go squid fishin' no mo ...

brpbrpbrp ... brpbrpbrp ... brp ... brpbrp ... whats that sound like ? ... think, old car ... model t beats hummer in 1000ft race ... no joke ... seriously, i hate those cars and the people that drive them ...

this scares me ... if anyone knows that that is, please let me know, id love to see the whole thing ...

ahem ... now, i like curves, specially of the female variety ... but somewhere in the area of 34-24-36 ... not 30-14-36 ... more on ms polaire

now listen up all y'all alkie stiffs, i don mind you cattin up on me campfire like ya do, but don't expects me to decorate the mahogany as well ... i's a gettin' mighty hooty .. hobo slang

old ladies with guns

how many people are proud of you?

sorry, more youtube ...

... directed by Martin Scorsese, starring Wesley Snipes, Flava Flav, Roberta Flack and Quincy Jones ...

the newest action-drama you may ask ?

nope ... it's the full-length intro to MJ's Bad

when i first watched this i was a little spooked out that i somehow missed this epic intro to one of MJ's biggest hits, until i read that it was in fact not released until 2001 on a DVD collection ...

and some more Bad trivia ...

The song was originally intended as a duet with longtime rival Prince. Quincy Jones, in an interview included in the Special Edition of "Bad", said that Prince told Jackson and him that he hadn't wanted to participate because "it would be a hit without (him)".
from this wiki page

when i first watched it, i didn't get the opening scene with the latino man asking MJ how many people were "proud of him" ... after watching the whole thing it made sense, and in my opinion says a whole lot with saying very little ...

thanks to bijan for the link!

oh, and ham, ham on it ... ham on whole wheat ... alright ...

goddamn i love weird als videos, and he is pretty spry for bein in that ginormous fat suit